Spouse jealous of opposite sex friendship

Yeah, the guys I hung out with were the Randy type...musicians. And no, I'm not saying all musicians are like that either....I've known some who weren't. But It did seem to have more than just a casual correlation.

I am a good looking woman but I never thought all men want to sleep with me. And no not all men want to have sex with all women. Thats certainly isn't the case

Typical healthy males think of sex constantly. You don't have to think it for it to be true. Ask around, get more men's "honest" opinion. I say honest because people often say what they think they should say rather than what they actually feel. But most people don't ask many people (would find it weird to do so) my friends and I were always interested in the taboo topics in society as well as psychology in general.

I politely disagree Elsa.

My husband does not think of sex 24/7. We both have Hobbes and friends and lots of upkeep on our home and land.

We have had many discussions about it for a variety of reasons.

Sure a few people may say " he's not being honest" but he is ....we both struggle at times with trouble being intimate . Thank you psych and blood pressure meds.

If men truly constantly thought of sex I think that there would be a huge problem in our daily lives as a society.

Not to sound snide but....An anecdotal one person account is hardly evidence or convincing in the slightest. We are talking science here. There is evidence out there. And they studied more than one person, go figure. So I politely disagree but acknowledge how this could be convincing enough for you.

And where did I claim it was "all men". Tell me where I did that?

Well teenage boys do probably think of sex all the time due to hormones and lack of maturity. Grown men (typical healthy ones) think a lot about other things. About their education or demanding job tasks or their children or their hobbies.

Where is there scientific evidence that typical healthy males constantly think of sex? Do you have scientifically collected facts?

Perhaps the kind of men you know only think of sex. I am not sure what else leads you to believe such thing but there is no scientific evidence that that's all men think about (constantly means pretty much means they think of nothing else). What type of men you associate with?

"Typical healthy men". Didn't you say it? If it's not all, it's majority. Although I am not sure what u mean by typical. Maybe you meant "stereotypical"?. Meaning that's what some people unfortunately believe about men?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...hink-about-sex

They think about sex once or twice an hour by what I could find as the most recent study. They think about food and sleep and other natural survival instincts also.

Maybe I should remove the word typical, maybe not. What spurs those thoughts twice an hour? Is it always the persons partner? It might be comforting to think so but highly unlikely from my personal research. I'm not saying I'm right, just saying how I see it. Look, we are essentially animals with the same basic instincts as our fellow non-humans. Sex is an instinct and those don't always "only" happen when we are with our partners.

Stereotypes are often based on some facts. Not always, but several. Using words like stereotype doesn't change human behavior.

i also agree that it's more prevalent during early years and lessens as the person gets older and also agree that not all men think this way.

And talk about stereotyping....how do you think men who read this and do feel this way might feel? Dirty, shameful and wrong? Sex is natural, sex if fun folks....let's not deny the very nature which secures our existence.

The first line of the response I disagreed with . I'm sorry I miss read you said ...."most typical men "

I'm sorry I still disagree, but this is PC we can agree to disagree

Sorry can't get the quote thing to work.

I agree. It's nice to have a place to share our point of view in a civil fashion. I can respect the reasons a person has to see it differently than I do. People rarely agree with me so it's very possible I'm wrong.

Also I'm a bit manic and I've been told I come across confrontational in this state and worry I'm coming across that way now....I don't mean to be I just feel very passionate about a lot of things right now and tend to be very analytical which translates into ***!ole at time. I hope I do not offend.

Elsa ((((( hugs ))))))

I didn't see anyone saying that sex is not healthy or it isn't fun. People objected to your statement that typical healthy men "constantly" think of sex. You also stated that it's s fact and you have scientific evidence of it. It's simply incorrect. Sex is great though, no one said otherwise. There is no shame in wanting sex. Its just when we introduce words like constantly or always or never or typical and start thinking in absolutes, then it stops being a valid argument.

I admit I feel threatened by my boyfriend's female aquaintances. I do what I can to avoid friendships with men. And those acquaintanceships that I do have are mostly professional. I would never go out with them for things like coffee or join them alone for a meal. Basically if it can be questioned I won't do it.

Elsa just saw your last post. Sending hugs and best wishes!!!

There are a lot of things in that article that I think you've glossed over.

1. The study was done on college-aged students.
2. There is nothing stated about relationship-status of any participants.
3. The 1-2 times per hour is based on the median score. It does not mean that every hour someone thinks about sex, it is the average. The thoughts may be contained to times of the day where they are in bed, shower, watching tv, who knows.
4. The difference between men and woman is not that large of a difference which is acknowledged in the article.
5. The nature of the sexual thoughts were not documented - it this does not mean that people were thinking about having sex with the people near them.
6. The article also says that people's outlook towards sex influences how often they think about sex than gender does. People who have a more reserved attitude towards sex were less likely to record the thoughts - which may or may not mean they think about sex less, or it may be they were less likely to record it.

In no way does the article imply that men want to have sex with every female they meet. It says nothing about men wanting to have sex with all of their female friends.

It isn't all that relevant to this thread and issue at all.

It might be something in relationship itself that is missing and that makes you feel insecure. My husband has girly hobby lol and job that traditionally all females so he knows lots of women. I can't care less, as I know he only cares about me in that sense.

But to all honesty if he wanted to go out with one female friend as often as op goes out with male friend, I'd probably wouldn't like it. If all of us go then it's different. Or if it's once in s blue moon to catch up. But regular outings seem a bit weird to me.

Maybe because we both are extremely busy and if we wanted to spend our precious s rare free time with others then maybe we should be married to those others. Just my thought

Thank you for awesome thoughtful post

Just picking up on that last point the logic doesn't follow at all to me. Wanting to spend free time with people other than spouses means you should be married to those others?

I don't follow that at all, in an average week I spend most my free time with my family as we live together, some weeks no time with friends, other weeks some time with friends (small proportion of my time compared to that with family).

Maybe I'm tainted by the fact I spent a long time without friends but when I spent all my time with my family I was not a happy fulfilled person. I am undoubtedly a happier well balanced person for my varied friendships and all that they bring to my life.

(typical healthy men...... constantly think of sex) Perhaps you did not say "all" but that is a very wide net you threw out there and one can easily take this as at the very least calling out almost all men.

Where precisely are all these men who want to have sex with me?

lol well, every one of your male friends, apparently o.o