What is love?

I know the intelectual side of this

in Greek thought: familial or affectionate love (storge);
friendship (philia);
romantic love (eros); and
spiritual love (agape)

But what is it exactly to be loved and to love another?
And how does one show love to another? Or receive it with grace and dignaty?

(Just so you know my temperament from a myers briggs point of view is:
intj I am having a loss of confidence at the moment on this,
yes INTJ do from time to time.)

All ideas are welcome & thank you!

You are happy to be with each other, in good times and bad. You care for and protect each other. You can depend on each other, trust, have each other's backs. Their smile brightens your day.

Love means different things to different people. I took some test a long time ago that showed you your love "profile". It was very interesting....my husband took it too and learned we had very different profiles.... the important things we agreed on. It helped us to learn eachothers profiles. Love is a feeling and you know it when you feel it....I've been in love a few times and love meant something unique each time.

Are you talking about love types? How you feel loved and express it?
I have only been in love once. That is my only reference.

I am trying to learn about this as it is likely at this point I have no idea
what I am doing.

My friend sent me the website....it might have been love types...it told you how you express love and what made you feel loved.

Each person is unique and in different stages in life, and what they want is different, and what they want can and usually does change ever so slightly. For me love was when I found someone who I enjoyed going through that ride with. Someone I felt comfortable sitting with day in and day out. Love is about how he makes me feel....his ability to allow me to see myself through his eyes and value myself more because if someone as great as he is, thinks so highly of me, I must be special. It's so many little things....we can sit silently for hours together holding hands. Everyday is better because he is in it, every struggle is easier because he's by my side...every moment richer because I found someone to love who loves me back. But as I said, it's different to each person

I find love to be sharing each other's lives, being there for each other, caring for each other--but also realizing that the other is a separate person and respecting that.

Oh, how I want love.

That kind of love I was not looking for at all. In fact a mocked the idea in the past. But something happened that altered the course of my life permanently.

But I am afraid because of how I am wired I find it very perplexing on many levels. Which I why I am asking here... Kind of looking for a concesus

To me, love is when you would give your life up for theirs.

I feel that for my kids.

The best definition i ever heard is that love is when a perspn flaws just don't matter

Love is the acceptance of faults as much as positive aspects. For me, its a glowing feeling inside my chest. It's pain, beauty, grace and gentleness. It's affection. It's the reason you start to randomly smile, both in private and in public. Makes you listen to love songs. Mhm. It's passion, too. Pushes you into impulsive behavior. It's about caring about others, and being generous. Brightening their day, listening when they need it.

That's love to me, anyway.

If you look at my quote below, you can see an alternate definition as love being a chemical reaction. But there's a lot more to it than chemicals firing.

Lets be sure to add that love is not obsession

There's where I trip up. At first the flaws are acceptable, until some flaws become too much, making me fall out of love and run.

My idea of love is:

To want to protect and care for another human being and also to share things`.
Knowing when your heart aches` for that special person He or she is the chosen one.
To worship the ground that they walk on.
To love the bones` of someone.
To hurt when they hurt.
To show each other affection and kindness.
To love their bad-habits`.
Love is selfless.

I want love more than ever.

As you already pointed out, it is a multi faceted thing. It really is not a "thing" as so many describe, it's not a point at which you reach with a certain person and like in movies everything is wonderful. No, it is something that is a growing, moving and changing, it is something that we do.

but what of the feelings people speak of? is that love? not in my book. The emotional side of romance, what you feel for another is attraction, it is chemistry as some people call it. it is passion, it is lust, it is all of those things but is it love? NO. But it is what prompts us TO Love another person which, back to my first statement is what we do.

Love is caring, it is kindness to another, it is so many things but all of these things are things we make happen, we do for those that we have all of those feelings above initially. Love is prompted by infatuation, passion, and lust but not permanently so. Love that is given solely upon those fleeting emotions stops happening when those feelings fade, which they always do. They return at times when there is a level of endurance in the people involved and when a stronger bond based on deeper conection and emotion come later but lacking that, this is why quick marriages, quickly die in today's society, at least, in most cases. Many focus and want to hang onto the feelings in the early days of a relationship but unfortunately they are not permanent. since those kinds of feelings give such a "high" for us, it' can be very addicting and distracting from the activities that would build a stronger relationship like friendship, bonding and mutual empathy and compassion. Things that would make us remain past the highs of passion and lust.

Love that goes beyond this, is hard to find today. People that have an enduring spirit, a true commitment that means something.

I hate to say it but I get tired of hearing the old adage "I just don't love you anymore" in the breakup of a relationship. No, the truth is "I just don't feel like I did in the beginning" would be more accurate to say ... adding on that "and since I don't feel as strongly passionate about you and feel romance burning, I am choosing to stop doing things that would give you love." and ultimately we choose to stop loving (giving compassion, empathy, provision, support...etc) the person.

Love, is ultimately a choice. Feelings come and go.

No and where people get confused is that the feelings that on one hand, can motivate a person to love someone, are also feelings that can give us a high and therefore can be addicting. In those cases it's those attraction feelings that are obsessed about.

What's your opinion on `your first love adage` then s4ndm4n2006?

As I have and still do remember my first love, even though I was then married!

can you explain your question a bit more? what is my opinion of what aspect? Are you asking about the first time I actually loved someone or had a crush on them. Are you asking about the first time I was infatuated or was in a real relationship where I loved my partner?

Also a question - your first love was not your wife?

You have just answered it!

Also a question - your first love was not your wife?

Correct she was not my first love. (But I still loved her in a different way)

My first love was when I was 21 and she was 18 and 6mth baby girl (Emma) we had an argument over something trivial and we split up (Thinking for a few day`s) BUT her mother had other idea`s!
`Anyway` What am saying is I loved her then (No crush) And if she came to me now and asked me back (Even after all those years`) I would gladly say YES!

how did I answer it, when my reply was a series of attempts to get you to clarify the question?

Love is a chemical reaction. No oxytocin no love.

Love is a verb!