Feeling overly anxious when noticing off behavior in others

I have the tendency to feel extremely anxious if and when I notice off behavior from other people, especially when it is just towards me. Anyone else get this feeling? It is like an extremely anxious, scared, sickening feeling in my chest and stomach and I dwell on what I could have done wrong when this happens.

In most cases, this happens when someone clearly just does not want to talk to me all the sudden and in some cases, make it extremely obvious they are avoiding me. It is not as bad when they do it to everyone but when they do it to just me, it gets extremely bad.

Most people are able to just brush it off and act like they don't care or are not that bothered by it but I can't help but feel extremely anxious and worry they hate me and may even gossip about me out of anger just to get rid of me. Does anyone else have this problem?

I will wonder what is wrong, and in the rare cases when I do ask what is wrong, they will usually say nothing and that everything is fine and I am overreacting. In very rare cases, the behavior stops which may indicate they were just in a bad mood and were not being too polite about it but in most cases, the behavior continues.

I will wonder why they are acting this way and wonder why they won't just tell me if something is wrong and what I could have done to make them so angry. I worry that once I make someone angry, that is it. They will never want anything to do with me again.

The reason for this is because I had a couple past experiences where someone was actually mad at me and they denied ever being mad when I asked them. When that happened, I assumed they were being honest, only to find out they were mad or annoyed and didn't want to be around me anymore.

I will worry for as long as the behavior continues. In some cases, if they show signs of avoiding me, I will actually pull away and give them space. Sometimes this actually rectifies the problem by giving them the chance to initiate conversation when they want.

By doing this, I am giving them space and allowing them to initiate any interactions on their own terms and if they just needed a cool down period or space, then they got it. I care about how people think of me and percieve me. I don't want past experiences to repeat.

I'm extremely sensitive to the moods of others too. Often left to wonder what I did wrong. I usually just retreat into myself and ignore the situation. I try to tell myself that they are just having an off day after all not everything is about me. :-)

Yeah sometimes I try that too.

I get really anxious about the behavior of others. It is not however just worry of behavior towards me. I spend a lot of time cringing as I assume the worst will happen. I guess I am always trying to aniticpate their actions; and, it is absolutely exhausting.

Every kind of behavior by people around me causes me to suspect them of faking, or plotting with others hoping I don't catch on. I try to ignore these things but sometimes I can feel their awkwardness, or sense their deception and it makes me sick. I don't trust anybody, but some people have to be in my life at this point. I too get the anxious, sickening feeling especially when I know I am right about them.

The worst for me is when i pick up on little things that don't add up when dealing with people who are supposed to be arbitrary to my friends/family and situation, and should have no knowledge of my other circles. I latch onto the smallest detail and mull it over, trying to build the rest of the puzzle.

For me this happens when my anxiety is bad, maybe that might be something that affects you too I don't know.

Yes it's good practice to remind yourself it is not necessarily about you but about them. I had someone close to me be very offhand with me this summer, when I voiced an objection they cut me out and all but stopped speaking to me. I only recently found out this person was having horrendous family problems at that time, they apologised for taking it out on me. I wish they had told me at the time but people quite often don't act in ways which are helpful, I know that can be true of me too.

It's impossible to fully understand what influences people's behaviour unless they choose to tell us.

Boy...are you reading my mind? I could have written this nearly word for word.

To the OP, I relate very much to what you have written. It's part of being sensitive and just part of who I am. Some of it stems from past trauma and family dynamics and I'm trying to improve my situation by learning why I'm like this. I'm sorry you struggle with this too. (((Hugs)))