[Hedgeleaf]

My ex dropped my daughter back home tonight and asked why I was keeping secrets from him and her about someone I'm seeing?

His story;
She told him mummy loves someone and we are all going to spend christmas together and shes been told all of this is a secret.

Daughters story (she is 6)
She told me she did say that but that it was a dream she thought was real but now she knows it's not true and it was in fact a dream.
She's known to tell some tall tales.

Ex also mentioned my brother? Said hes been telling everyone about a guy I'm seeing. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. my brother knows nothing and anything...

Anyway WTF!!

daughter burst into tears as she didn't get to say goodbye to daddy and that I shut him out

He scared me so much was right in my face pointing and shouting.

I don't know what to do

[TishaBuv]

Why is it any of his business anyway? He sounds like a jealous current husband.

[divine1966]

Are you still not divorced? That's maybe why he thinks he can demand things. My apologies if you did get divorce. If he yells at you demand supervised visitations etc call police next time

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Hedgeleaf

My ex dropped my daughter back home tonight and asked why I was keeping secrets from him and her about someone I'm seeing?

His story;
She told him mummy loves someone and we are all going to spend christmas together and shes been told all of this is a secret.

Daughters story (she is 6)
She told me she did say that but that it was a dream she thought was real but now she knows it's not true and it was in fact a dream.
She's known to tell some tall tales.

Ex also mentioned my brother? Said hes been telling everyone about a guy I'm seeing. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. my brother knows nothing and anything...

Anyway WTF!!

daughter burst into tears as she didn't get to say goodbye to daddy and that I shut him out

He scared me so much was right in my face pointing and shouting.

I don't know what to do

Whether you are or aren't seeing anyone is not anything that he has to know, none of his business, he's an ex. WTF does he think he is thinking you owe him any kind of accountability about your dating life? he is so far out of line I don't blame you for being angry but you should be more angry at him for being nosy about something like that than about whether he was told such a story.

She's 16 and can't tell if a dream was a dream or not? I'd be kind of concerned about that also. That's kind of old to have a hard time with dream vs reality discernment.

First I would tell him it wouldn't be any of his business if you were seeing someone and that he has no right to know either way. leave that at that.

Then I would tell your daughter it's not her place to reveal information to him about your love life but yours and yours alone unless you tell her otherwise.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Whether you are or aren't seeing anyone is not anything that he has to know, none of his business, he's an ex. WTF does he think he is thinking you owe him any kind of accountability about your dating life? he is so far out of line I don't blame you for being angry but you should be more angry at him for being nosy about something like that than about whether he was told such a story.

She's 16 and can't tell if a dream was a dream or not? I'd be kind of concerned about that also. That's kind of old to have a hard time with dream vs reality discernment.

First I would tell him it wouldn't be any of his business if you were seeing someone and that he has no right to know either way. leave that at that.

Then I would tell your daughter it's not her place to reveal information to him about your love life but yours and yours alone unless you tell her otherwise.

She is only 6

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

She is only 6

hahahah scratch that I read that as 16 bahahaha sorry!

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Hedgeleaf

My ex dropped my daughter back home tonight and asked why I was keeping secrets from him and her about someone I'm seeing?

His story;
She told him mummy loves someone and we are all going to spend christmas together and shes been told all of this is a secret.

Daughters story (she is 6)
She told me she did say that but that it was a dream she thought was real but now she knows it's not true and it was in fact a dream.
She's known to tell some tall tales.

Ex also mentioned my brother? Said hes been telling everyone about a guy I'm seeing. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. my brother knows nothing and anything...

Anyway WTF!!

daughter burst into tears as she didn't get to say goodbye to daddy and that I shut him out

He scared me so much was right in my face pointing and shouting.

I don't know what to do

Are you okay? I would be scared too, and then my defenses would kick in and I'd yell back at him, asking what business it was of his what I did with my life and who I saw. But that's just me.

He seems controlling and jealous all at the same time. I wouldn't tolerate that. It's not acceptable. I would do as suggested and demand that he stop yelling at you in front of your daughter otherwise he'll have to have supervised visits with her. Not only does this send your young girl the wrong message about how parents should act in front of their kids, but she's probably already confused by the breakup in the marriage and why her father isn't always around anymore.

Anyways, please take care and be safe.

I suggest you email him and tell him that anything he would like to ask, to please email only.

I'm not saying you owe him any explanation for anything, but it might be best for your children in future if things are ironed out (anything) via email and not in front of them.

Whatever both of your emotions are, they simply are. No point in saying that a person should or should not feel a particular way because, sure...that makes sense. But you can't tell your emotions to make sense, really.

Well, if you can then please tell me how 'cause I sure would like to get a handle on that...

[Bill3]

What arrangements (for daughter) do you have for Christmas now?

My guess is that he thought he was being cut out of whatever Christmas time he would normally have with your daughter. He seems quite a volatile person; what if you tried sophiesmom's suggestion?

[Hedgeleaf]

Thanks for the replies.
I sent him a text that night and told him he was out of line and I won't stand for him acting like in front of our daughter or to me. I explained that my life is mine just like his is his and ive expressed no interest so at least give me the same respect.

He replied with some arsy message saying he felt threatened by my text to him?

Anyway, ive ignored it now. I'm worried he's trying to provoke me to get some sort of reaction and use it against me. I feel i acted correctly to the situation

BILL - Christmas plans have been arranged for some time now and I wouldn't change plans now or limited her time with her dad. I always feel i bend over backwards to fit him into her life as he is quite unreliable.

I'm scared to see him again now

[Hedgeleaf]

And also, should i note his behaviour with my solicitor? The papers have been sent off now but I will still be using her for the sale of my house.

It's already been noted in the divorce papers about his drug use, that's the reason we are no longer together

[MickeyCheeky]

Big hugs to you. I know it's a scary situation, but be strong I'm sure you can do it.

[Bill3]

I think it would be wise to document what happened in case a pattern develops. For example, you could forward the exchange of emails to your solicitor.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Hedgeleaf

And also, should i note his behaviour with my solicitor? The papers have been sent off now but I will still be using her for the sale of my house.

It's already been noted in the divorce papers about his drug use, that's the reason we are no longer together

Absolutely! Are there alternatives and options for visitation exchanges? My exhusband after 3 years divorced wound up with a domestic assault and battery on me for discovering that I had moved on. Was a very traumatizing time for all of us. His "thought process" was about "protecting his children" from anyone that I would bring into their lives. This was over 3 years ago. He had probation, court fees, anger management and counseling. He is an alcoholic, your drug mention makes me want to share this key piece of info.

Stay safe, these are the volatile years of seperation for you. Remind your daughter it's not her fault. Cute dream by the way, her way of coping with changes.