I hate Christmas. All I see are happy families and people buying presents for each other when I have nobody this holiday season at all and haven't had anybody buy presents for me since I was a little kid.

All I see are a bunch or little sheep who take their simple lives for granted, blissfully unaware that there are others in this world, such as myself, who can't enjoy what they do.

I have no family anymore. I have precious few friends who won't even text or call me when I need them the most. I hate humans.

Screw it, I am going to go play an online multiplayer game where I get to kill other players so I can pretend they are Christmas idiots hahaha!

[NewCommer]

You won't get friends around with that attitude buddy.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by NewCommer

You won't get friends around with that attitude buddy.

wow

Originally Posted by NewCommer

You won't get friends around with that attitude buddy.

Meh I don't really need friends when I am a video game god. Seriously, I am going to just try to enter an esports tournament or become a twitch streamer or something and make real money off my gaming so I don't have to deal with real life anymore because it's clear that people only respect me online because of my raw skill and strategic intellect so who needs friends in person haha

It is true though that Christmas is a holiday for con artists and victims though because it is designed to drain the masses of money in order to have them buy a bunch of pointless crap that nobody needs all so they make everybody else around them miserable. About the only thing good about Christmas is egg nog hahaha

P.S I'm cheered up now after a solid few hours of reking n00bs online on MOBAs

[Misssy2]

hi darkness...I was going to write a similar post to yours but you did it for me.

For some reason, my family is not participating in my life either.

My 2 children (boys 30 and 27) have NEVER bought me a token of a gift and it hurts me. I don't want the gift really I would have just liked to see that they were thinking about me and that is why they bought me a token....never...and it will never happen.

There is one glass dolphin decoration I have from my youngest son when he was 10 and he had some money and there was a yard sale around here...and he spent his money on ME by getting that dolphin. I LOVE that dolphin....and he has no idea how much or that I still have it on display because I have not seen him (by fault of my own for drinking too much alcohol).

I should find a video game..lol..but I can't kill people not even in a video game..so kill a couple FOR ME.

Thank you...and hey..I am wishing you a Merry Christmas!

[divine1966]

I am sorry and understand you are struggling but I don't understand the reason of calling happy people "little sheep living simple lives blissfully unaware or take life for granted". when you see happy looking people with positive attitude you've no idea if their lives are simple or no and if they take lives for granted. You don't know if they are unaware or are volunteering and donating every time they can. It's better not to assume

[divine1966]

My mom is very upbeat person yet she is battling advanced cancer and my daughter has a positive attitude yet she just widowed, lost her husband unexpectedly. Just because people continue battling and don't give up it doesn't make them little sheep.

[Steiner of Thule]

Usually I feel you have to take action when it comes to gift giving. You have to give gifts if you want gifts. If you don't get any gifts then that's okay. I notice people usually got me gifts pretty quick after I got them gifts. Like when I got my sister a gift card to starbucks and the next day she got me a bottle of rum.

I find you have to make Christmas what you want.

Can't really expect other people to do so for you.

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry and understand you are struggling but I don't understand the reason of calling happy people "little sheep living simple lives blissfully unaware or take life for granted". when you see happy looking people with positive attitude you've no idea if their lives are simple or no and if they take lives for granted. You don't know if they are unaware or are volunteering and donating every time they can. It's better not to assume

It's simply, really. The majority of people have it so easy compared to me because at least they have families and friends who would at least TEXT THEM on the holidays but nooo everybody in my life is so useless. I'm so sick and tired of people holding me back from my true potential but nobody gives a damn about me so I'm done caring about others.

I'm just going to go stream on Twitch or something at least those people have others who appreciate them and make good money. Such a shame that I'm not a woman with big boobs though because they get even more attention and have an easier time getting subscribers but w/e

Yes, there are some people who actually do donate time or help others or have their own major issues in life and my comment doesn't apply to them, but they are a rare few.

Sorry to hear that you are hurting a lot. You aren't the only one on this site who feels lonely during the holidays. There should be people in chat on Christmas day even, perhaps you could spend some time there? I know I'll be popping in quickly.

Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule

Usually I feel you have to take action when it comes to gift giving. You have to give gifts if you want gifts. If you don't get any gifts then that's okay. I notice people usually got me gifts pretty quick after I got them gifts. Like when I got my sister a gift card to starbucks and the next day she got me a bottle of rum.

I find you have to make Christmas what you want.

Can't really expect other people to do so for you.

You're missing the point. I don't care about gifts, I'm attention starved.

[divine1966]

I don't think Steiner meant gifts in a literal sense. It could be gifts of attention. When you are being nice to people you might get more of them nice in return. When you call people little sheep just because they aren't miserable you might turn them off quickly

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don't think Steiner meant gifts in a literal sense. It could be gifts of attention. When you are being nice to people you might get more of them nice in return. When you call people little sheep just because they aren't miserable you might turn them off quickly

You're right and I'm sorry. I was just frustrated when I wrote that because I couldn't get any of my friends to talk to me even when I was being polite so I kind of lashed out.

I am just going to zone out and play one of my games or watch Netflix or something because it is clear that I can't function around other people when I'm like this.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

You're right and I'm sorry. I was just frustrated when I wrote that because I couldn't get any of my friends to talk to me even when I was being polite so I kind of lashed out.

I am just going to zone out and play one of my games or watch Netflix or something because it is clear that I can't function around other people when I'm like this.

I wish there was something we can help you with. Check PC chats tomorrow. There has to be some chat on. That does help

Originally Posted by divine1966

I wish there was something we can help you with. Check PC chats tomorrow. There has to be some chat on. That does help

I know that I am beyond being helped at this point, but at least you care enough to want to help somebody like me and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I have already accepted that I have been without light and love in my life for too long to ever be accepted or loved by any "good" human being. I am a creature of darkness; a shell of my former self. The only light I will ever be able to bring to another humans life will originate from darkness.

The shadows shield me from harm in this scary world. The darkness is my one and only lover and the empty void is my only solace.

I'm done even trying to change; I accept what the hell I have endured has evolved me into. I am like that species of fish that evolved those ugly eyes and features on it's face in order to live in an area in the ocean with no natural sunlight; I am an ugly, bitter, hateful person on the inside who doesn't know what beauty looks and feels like.

I will use that ugly darkness in order to at least do something meaningful in this life so people will love me for something even if I may never feel truly close to another human being ever again.

The void calls for me.