[Misssy2]

My b/f is addicted to a drug.
A drug that keeps him up all night so I am forced to wear earplugs if I want to sleep because when he is on this drug...he likes to clean...or hang things up (banging with nails).

I have trouble sleeping and going to sleep....I always ask that he not enter my room after I go in there to sleep at around 1130...he was doing really good with this for about 2 months...but the last 4 nights he has ONE LAST THING TO SAY to me after I go in and close the door.

I feel like I have no safe place in this frigin house. So, after me telling him last night to absolutely NOT bother me when I went in my room. What does he do? He bothers me about something f-ing stupid! My heart started pounding and took a while to go to sleep.

Then around 4am..he is cleaning...then he always eats before bed..has a habit of slamming cupboards and the microwave door...my heart was racing cause he woke me up AGAIN.

I decided to get up..and I'm totally angry..this is not good for my health.

What I did was turn on all the lights (like he does) cause he is trying to sleep now...and I slammed the ice tray...etc....What did this do?

This made him get up and start talking to me....I'm really upset by all this..so now I will turn out the lights, make little noise and pray for his stupid ***** to fall asleep so I have some peace..maybe later this morning I will be able to take a nap in peace cause he will be sleeping.

I'm just so angry and sick of this. I had threatened eviction and went so far to call a lawyer...I got promises of change...etc...so because of the holiday I told him I would wait and see how it goes...and see if he changes...and this is how it is going!

[Bill3]

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. How does he explain himself?

[Misssy2]

Thanks Bill...he thinks his schedule is perfectly fine.
His 89 year old Mom has a Dr. appt today which he will get up and take her because he loves her to death. BUT, he thinks I am going with them.

I just composed a note that says....Your Moms clothes are done and in your truck.
and since my resting time has been SERIOUSLY impacted I will be staying home today.

I don't know how he will handle THAT...but I'm going to try and get stuff done like her laundry and then make myself a hot breakfast and try to lay down now that i know he is sleeping and won't bother me.

The only problem is..he told his Mother to call here at 9...9:30 and to keep calling till he answers. She and I have a good relationship but I leave their activity planning up to him because I have been hurt in the past...and so the frigin phone will be ringing and ringing and then when I finally bring it to him...I will be agitated all over again..and unable to sleep at THAT time either like I planned...LOL...its a total joke...really.

Thank you for responding to my post.

[MickeyCheeky]

It's good that you're standing up for yourself. Wish you good luck..

[Misssy2]

Thank you Mickey Cheeky.....I decided I will wait till around 1pm to take a nap (if I'm even tired..I'm really not tired cause i'm Bipolar)...but I will take one of these new pills they want me to take....at 12..That way coast will be clear for me to know that no one will be here and I can have peace.

And I hate to say it but I will be smiling when I lay down for the simple fact he is going alone, he hates going alone...is always SORRY...yea, well I"m sorry too today. I will just say "I'm sorry" later...like he always does...ha

[Shazerac]

I'm confused about why you are going to apologize to him? You haven't done anything wrong. He is responsible for his mother not you. Living with a drug addict sounds very damaging to you mental health.

[Bill3]

Thanks for your reply!

What do you like about him?

[Misssy2]

shaz...no doubt it is damaging to my mental health...and I'm sure living with me is no picnic either if you remember i have been struggling with alcohol and MENTAL issues. And probably the best "choice" of a partner I have ever made - although, it is not a perfect choice for me.

Bill..I like everything about him except his drug use.
He is like me when it comes to compassion for others and especially the homeless..
He is funny
He is a great caretaker (I watched him care for his sister as she died and he cares very well for his mother).
He doesn't try to change me
He is strong...attractive
He has a wonderful family
He lives with the same mindset I do about shopping carefully and not worrying too much about what others have that we don't have
We very often are thinking about the same things at the same time (to do, or to go or to eat)
He has a side to him that I do not have to me as far as being able to chill out when I am a frigin maniac on high speed most of the time (I was hoping he would level me out)

Its just when he uses drugs...he is different....just like I am different when I abuse alcohol.

However, all that said...the drug addict factor is a BIG thing that should BE a deal breaker for me...because honestly it is destroying me...yes, I have my problems..but that does not mean I have to accept his...and I DID go for an eviction a couple of weeks ago and decided to see how the holiday went and how his "New Years Resolution" will go for a bit before I finally throw in the towel.

I took a a nap! whew...so now I"m going back on what I said about not going with him and his Mom...but I'm going now because I ENJOY going...and being with her too. Or maybe I'm not going...but not because I'm mad at him...but because there might be some other things I want to do...like go get a salad...

[eyesclosed]

Hi Misssy It almost sounds like when at home its a brother and sister relationship. That's what me and my sister did growing up anything we knew the other didn't like. There are lot's of good things going for the 2 of you. Alcohol is a drug so you are abusing a drug. How do the two of you get along when you both use? It would be great if the two of you could somehow use this problem to bring you closer than ever by supporting, understanding make a commitment with him and then give it time go to a counselor together or AA if it doesn't work out by next year then leave then you will know you did something to work it out. Sometimes we can turn lemons into lemonade.

[Misssy2]

Thank you eyesclosed..it may be sooner than later next year that we break up...but we ARE trying.

Um...when I'm drinking and he is using...we pretty much get along...but I am too sick when I drink...I don't do anything for days..as far as eat, shower...live....and that is probably why we get along because when he uses..he sleeps most of the day...and I'm not *****ing when I am drunk that I don't have anyone to do anything with...

I took his Mom today and it was meant to be...because she needed me for a questionarre..and I got away from the house. It was a good day.
Hope you are ok and enjoying the day/night as well.

Originally Posted by Misssy2

when I'm drinking and he is using...we pretty much get along...

That's not you, though, and that's not him...

I hope that it gets easier for you. I hope that you get the strength to take care of yourself.

[Misssy2]

hi sophiesmom...thanks for responding
You are right...when I first met him...he was on a prison bracelet (hence sober because he was drug tested) and I was sober 8 years...and we had a good stretch of sobriety together at the start of our relationship and it was a beautiful thing.

I know all relationships pretty much start out good...but this was just beautiful..our first date basically ended in a graveyard...sitting on the grass.

He had never been to his brothers grave. I had met him at a resturaunt for our first meeting and said I had to go to a graveyard to visit my friend (trying to end the date only because I didn't want to seem so eager)...and he asked what graveyard. I told him and he said my brother is there and I have never been.

I wanting to help/fix everyone....said...wow...I will help you find him...and we did find him and sat on the grass on a real sunny beautiful day and talked until dusk....then I went home to meet his sister....it was just like we were meant to be from the beginning.