 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jan 23, 2017, 11:11 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh my goodness, I so don't know how to deal with this. I reopened my online dating profile last night. And this morning have been sending messages back and forth with this very handsome young man, who happens to be 8 years younger than me. He just said he would like to take me out sometime, and I would love that, but haven't answered yet. I am SO self conscious about my appearance...during the time I had my breakdown and hospitalizations and trying so many different meds, I gained a lot of weight and I don't feel like I used to. I haven't dated or had sexual relations in the past two years since this downward spiral.
I feel so self-conscious that he won't like me. I don't have any misleading pics on my profile or anything but they all are the most flattering pics of me. I'm self-conscious about the weight thing and about the age thing. I mean, he's 8 years younger than me... I'm also having a hard time because I'm getting closer to 40 and closer to the time where it will be difficult to have kids, and it's not something I MUST do, but I don't know, i would really like the opportunity to have a kid with a man that I love if I want that option. I just all of a sudden, lately, have really felt like the clock is ticking, and loudly. So how do I respond to this guy asking me out? Ug! Seesaw
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
 Anonymous59898, MickeyCheeky
|
|
#2
Jan 23, 2017, 11:15 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Go for it!
|
|
#3
Jan 23, 2017, 11:20 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
|
#4
Jan 23, 2017, 11:26 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
But this guy seems interested in you, so I say go for it. Have some fun! You deserve it.
|
|
#5
Jan 23, 2017, 11:30 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
So what he said was "I would like to take you out sometime."
So far I have just responded "That's very sweet."
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
|
#6
Jan 23, 2017, 11:32 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Maybe ask him when he's free to go out sometime? Or let him know when you're available?
|
|
#7
Jan 23, 2017, 11:40 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think you should definitely go for it. Age is just a number imo, and if it doesn't work out you're no worse than you are now. Who knows, you might have some fun and/or you might even connect!
__________________
Morality plays on stages of sin -Emilie Autumn |
|
#8
Jan 23, 2017, 11:42 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Go on a date. What do you have to lose?
|
|
#9
Jan 23, 2017, 11:49 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
|
#10
Jan 23, 2017, 12:05 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I understand you're worried about this.. but please, give it a try. It's still a chance you have to meet a potential boyfriend. If it won't work, you can at least say you tried - if you don't, you might regret it in the future. Please, really think about this. In any case, we're here
|
 seesaw
|
|
#11
Jan 23, 2017, 12:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Seesaw, I am 38, I piled on 40lbs due to age and health issues. 6 months back I started seeing a guy who is 30, thinks I'm hot as I am and adores my crazy.
I got lucky, I know that. If it turns out just to be a fling, why the hell not. Go have fun be carefree for a little while. Worry about the other stuff later.
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
|
#12
Jan 23, 2017, 12:18 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Actually what am I talking about, He got lucky too. Eugh self depreciation. We were both lucky, he isn't without his issues but they compliment mine almost perfectly. And choose a date that shows you at your best.
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
|
#13
Jan 23, 2017, 12:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The other thing I'm super self conscious about are the scars all over my body...so I guess the time of just a fling are over for me. I'm not going to be able to be intimate with someone unless they really like me and can see past all these scars.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
|
#14
Jan 23, 2017, 12:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh and seesaw I took 6years out of dating and sex. Things do change but not always for the worst, I felt a lot more relaxed this time around. Found it a lot easier to say what I wanted. And much more able to have a laugh I think.
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
|
#15
Jan 23, 2017, 12:36 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Play it coy and flirt a little while longer, then take him up on that date offer. Meet in a busy place and be careful.
If he hit on you it means you look good to him. Don't overthink it.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
|
#16
Jan 23, 2017, 12:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I
Possible trigger:
My fella didn't notice a lot of them til recently, despite us being intimate not because they weren't obvious but because he was preoccupied with other things. I really hope you can find it in yourself to take a chance seesaw. Would you take him up on his offer if he was your age?
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
|
#17
Jan 23, 2017, 12:57 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
seesaw
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
|
#18
Jan 23, 2017, 01:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Go out and have fun!
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
|
#19
Jan 23, 2017, 01:06 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
"seesaw" As other`s have said `GO FOR IT`
He obviously is very interested with your profile and content`s! You don`t know, he maybe thinking and worrying about your answer to his question!! `If you don`t try, you won`t know`!! `You might be surprised yourself`!! My partner say`s that I am warm and cuddly! "I say I am fat (14.9st and 5.10 in height)  I love her for the person and beauty she has inside and not for the false look`s she has on the outside!!! (Make-up) `Take that gamble and be a winner`
__________________
My home is my sanctuary and also my prison. |
|
#20
Jan 23, 2017, 01:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I apologise, your post indicated you were hurrying t make a decision. If reassurance was all you needed you have it in spades. I have stood where you are standing and I think you perhaps need more time to think it over.
Just don't wake up one morning kicking yourself that you never took the chance. I wish I could lend you my experience just to alleviate your fear a little. All the best seesaw, in the end you have to do what's right for you.
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
|
#21
Jan 23, 2017, 01:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Campervanman, lol your wife's comments. Me and him have a similar thing I was always thin up until a year and a half ago. My fella has seen me both ways, and vastly prefers me as I am now. But I won't repeat his reasons. Well. Not here.
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
|
#22
Jan 23, 2017, 01:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
 I know what your saying Erebos!! Another thing is: She is 5yrs older than me `SO TECHNICALY` I am her toy-boy!!! And at 54yrs of age that a great achievement!! `OH` And I love her bad habit`s also!! "BUT" I Don`t tell her that!!
__________________
My home is my sanctuary and also my prison. |
|
#23
Jan 23, 2017, 01:54 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Seesaw.. as others have said.. give it a chance! You never know unless you try, and it's better than to later wonder what might have been.
Just don't go in with too much anxiety and expectations. Relax and have fun. Whichever way it goes, it's always worthwhile to have an experience.. they're what we remember and learn from. |
|
#24
Jan 23, 2017, 01:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
|
#25
Jan 23, 2017, 02:16 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well, I told him that since I work for an orchestra that I have to work most weekend nights, but I'm free this Sunday. He responded that he would love to come to the orchestra some time with me, but if Sunday is what I want, he will plan a date for that...I would totally bring him to one of our concerts, but this weekend's program is our civic orchestra and this community event, not the highest quality.
Omg, I'm kind of getting excited.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous59898
|
| healingme4me, ~Christina
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
