trapped in guilt

This comes from a situation that happened about 1/2 year ago, and I still feel trapped in guilt and anger.
I had to confront my friend about promise she did not keep. I'm absolutelly a begginer in confrontations, as it's something my T pushed me to learn. Anyway, she responded with throwing guilt back at me. I did not justify me or anything as I did not and still don't think I did anything wrong. Still I can't get out of the feeling of guild. I'm really angry at her, I have all kinds of revenge plans running into my head (I'm not intending to act on any). We cut that relationship off. We pretend we don't know each other at streets. But I'm terrified to see her at town, I blush, start trembling, I feel off for day or two.
How could I overcome these feelings?

You said that the T pushed you to learn confrontations - I wonder where the T is now and how he or she is dealing with the aftereffects of your learning? I think a responsible T would handle the situation end-to-end.

In the meantime, you can write down your revenge plans on paper, by hand, and tear and toss that paper. You can draw your anger and revenge with colored pencils or colored chalk. Or, you can draw the revenge plans and then draw a cross over them, signifying that you have no plans of acting on any of the plans.

Another idea is rebuilding the relationship. Since you did not provide any details, it is hard to advise further.

I was out of the therapy when that happened, and I don't want to visit T any more. One of my biggest fears is that I know that other person sometimes asks for advice to the same T, so I just don't want to talk this issue with this therapist.
Your ideas of drawing revenge plans are great. Now when you have put this in words, I realised that it feels comforting to feel revenge, it gives me feeling of superiority (as if I was winning the battle). I fear to be the loser.
I don't want to rebuild relationship. I was fed up with broken promises, disrespect, seeing her being abusive to her family. I wanted to break it anyway. Still emotionally I hope to catch her attention, to talk, to rebound. Is it grief? Is it me dreading being left, causing someones anger?

Ah, I see. for clarity purposes (to develop a sense of direction), it is good that you are sure that you do not want to rebuild anything with the other person.

I think you are right in that you fear being the loser. See what those sessions with pencils and paper yield - what color your emotions are, what color and shapes you will choose for your revenge, etc. You will learn a lot about your subconscious via these sessions.

Have you tried to write down some possible answers you could give her? That way, if you should confront her again one day, you could be more prepared.

It's lose-lose situation. I'm not wining, she is not wining, if getting out of tensions relationship does not count as winning. I drew pictures of revenge - I drew myself in red, being taller than everything, stretching my hands over enemy and her belongings. She was brown, sad, crying blue tears, her belongings brown and in fire. Her belongings burn because she is so obsessed of how much who owns. I caught her being envious of others and then she offended me having expensive stuff (ikea and so lol). I just think this is how much I want to be in controll in situations and I realised I'm not. We both lost this round.

Do you have any ideas what could she potentially say?

I'm guessing - one answer would be - let's talk it all over. What should I say 1) I'm done, thansk for this relationship, but I don't want to continue and we have done tanking enough. 2) we talk this over, and it would include saying that her kid is too spoiled (her child offended and hit mine and she did not react, that was a previous concern). I don't want to hurt her even more saying this, I know she would explode and get extremely agressive as her world resolves around her kid. Also I'm resistant to say how hurt I am as it would show how volunerable I am.

I'm also scared that kids will say something about each other when seeing her child. Mine don't want to see hers anymore because her child was hitting mine. She just made excuses to make it ok. It's not ok for me, it's not ok. Even more, I 've seen her hitting her child so I know it's chain reaction. I don't have guts to report her, but I don't want to see her anywhere near me anymore. I just wonder what would the kids say. Would they be offensive. We live close so it's inevitable this situation will happen.

I freeze in conflict situations. She is a fighter. I'm scared

I think you made the right call, given how her kid hit yours and she would try making it appear OK.

I beg of you to anonymously report her in order to help save that child!

I remember getting hit as a child and thinking "why doesn't anyone do anything? why doesn't anyone care?"

Unfortunately the vast majority turn a blind eye to abuse----unless its the "oh no you're a wretched parent for giving your kid some freedom" variety----at which point, people have no qualms about reporting you.

I've survivor of childhood abuse as well. We are in Eastern Europe, hitting a child is accepted by most of community. Services would act only on desperate moments like child caugth in home with no food, drunk parents and poo on floors. It's just my word agains her word. I'm afraid she could report anynomously me in revenge - though there's no reason why she should, just to revenge. I mean - she could figure out who the reporter was. And in addition one of her close relative works for that service who removes children from homes, so theres's a risk for curruption and finding who the "anynymous" was anywan. I'm just scared to crap. No matter how bad my family was, I would not have wanted to be removed of it anyway. After my mom divorced, when we are adults, she has a husband, who is chauvinist and somewhat sexually equivocal. I just get sick of idea of getting a family like that instead.

I apologize as I didn't know the extent of your circumstances. While it would be great if child welfare was a priority, I sadly know that in other parts of the world, this isn't so. Your safety and security are very important, and I'd hate for anything to be done to you out of revenge. I am not judging you in the least. I have been in public and have seen kids getting smacked, screamed at, etc. I have said nothing because I have a bad stress disorder of my own, and if the parent decided to take everything out on me, I could end up in an emotional PTSD episode that could last weeks, up to and including hospitalization. In a perfect world I'd be able to stand up for everyone, but right now my priority is to myself and my healing. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I have no choice but to be my only priority right now. Hugs.