Marriage separation after deployment

Sounds to me like she did her thing with him...sewed her oats or whatever..and I don't believe she didn't accept any of those advances...He needs to stop calling..she should change her number that will take care of that. I just think she doesn't want you talking to him in case he contradicts her stories..and also he would probably say something lewd to you about his relations with her.

Its nice that you two are working on it...I like happy endings.

Well i ended up calling and telling him to back the "F" off and to stop calling her. It might not have been my place, but I had to put my foot down as the man

What happened to the plan to both go to work with a marriage counselor together?

We were supposed to go but she is always working and it's hard to find the time at the moment with our schedules.

So what does your wife think about what you did or arent you telling her?

Essie, sounds like you have a lot of resentment towards me. Did you cheat on your husband before and blamed YOUR actions on him?

No....never cheated on him even with having a career in a mostly male field as a computer design engineer. I grew up in a male neighborhood so I didn't relate to typical women.....but I was very independent & quite capable of taking care of myself even in my marriage.

DadFMF, so even though it's been hard to schedule appointments where you can move forward with marriage counseling together, are you still engaging in therapy for yourself so you don't fall back into the old habits your wife talked about as you being "angry and controlling"?

I think it's important that you continue therapy so you can talk things over with this therapist so you can continue to work on "improving" your part in the relationship so you don't slip back to having the same relationship you had before.

This is something you should discuss with your therapist who can give you some suggestions that you may not think of on your own. Also, your therapist can help you with looking at your wife's behaviors where the therapist may see some red flags that you may be misunderstanding or could react to better that improves the communication between you and your wife in ways that would benefit you and both of you.

Well me and the wife moved in together. So far, it's off to a ok start. Still a lot of trust issues but we are working past it day by day. I came home from work, done laundry, folded clothes, fed and bathed the kids ect. Doing more around the house so when she gets off her shift she can relax. She mentioned last night when she got off work and payed down with me "what if we do t work out" and she mentioned "I miss my space"....both of these out of the blue. I didn't say nothing back about it and she reverted back to old stuff. Eventually we both just went to sleep. I'm just going to be consistent and not argue.

At least she is giving it a chance to work & see if things have changed with the things that were bothering her. One day at a time is what it takes to prove to each other that it will or won't work. Time will tell

So far things are going ok. Still an adjustment but that's to be expected

Thanks for the update DadFMF.