[TishaBuv]

On facebook, on LinkedIn, on all my social media, which I now have to do because of my sales job...

It's killing me. There's the 'kids' I knew back from my old home town. There's the boy who had a foot fettish and fondled my feet when I was ten! There's the boy whose mother ran against my mom for City Council and played dirty pool!

Do I friend them?

Everybody I've ever known, good and bad, has come back! Do I pretend nothing bad ever happened between us? Do they even remember me? Is it all water under the bridge? Are they now fully grown douche bags?

OMG

[TishaBuv]

There is a God! Karma is a B**ch!

I am righting the wrongs!

I am now fb friends with the girl who was most mercilessly bullied in elem school, and if I run into that mean, bully girl I will surely give her a what for!

Are they asking to be friends? If they are, that is a hard one--maybe yes but don't talk to them unless they ask a direct question. However, of course, don't ask them to be friends. I think one thing is likely--most remember as much about you as you do about them!

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

There is a God! Karma is a B**ch!

I am righting the wrongs!

I am now fb friends with the girl who was most mercilessly bullied in elem school, and if I run into that mean, bully girl I will surely give her a what for!

Um, you may have to be careful about how you "give it to her" given that you need to be loved by all. But if she acts mean in some way on fb, then your golden opportunity might present itself...

[DechanDawa]

I'm on various social media sites including LinkedIn and Facebook for professional reasons but I don't mess with them. I weaned myself away from spending time on these sites. My profile is just there if someone wants to see it for professional reasons but I don't interact with people on the sites. So to have it up for professional reasons doesn't mean one needs to engage. A few people from the past came forward but I discouraged a lot of interaction (or even requests to meet in real life) because I simply wasn't interested. I have enough on my plate just dealing with the here and now. I am not a very nostalgic person so what happened 30 or so years ago with school chums doesn't interest me.

[Trippin2.0]

Why would you want to friend them?

Just cos they are suggested doesn't make it obligatory to send a request.

My rule for SM?

If I didn't like you then, I sure as hell wont like you now.

I have no problem ignoring suggestions and friend requests from undesirables.

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

If I didn't like you then, I sure as hell wont like you now.

I think you are SO right about this.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I recently opened a new fb account simply because an organization I wanted information on was on there and with my account having been deleted I couldn't see everything :/ I have gotten a multitude of stupid suggestions for friends on there and have ignored every single one of them. In my email I simply delete it. I have no tolerance for the spam. I figure if I wanted to be friends with you in the first place, I wouldn't need fb to point that out to me and there are really no friends from my distant past that I need to be in touch with. I mean anyone looking for a long lost friend will be pretty proactive about it. having "known" the person at one point in my life is meaningless.

I would friend no one that you haven't got a connection with in the first place. FB is overrated for "connecting people" it's bs.

[TishaBuv]

I agree with y'all. There's no reason to actually friend them on social media. The odds of them actually sending me any business are nill anyway.

It is just so weird to see these faces from the past.

My friend had me laughing so much today, when I told her about this. She did this whole routine about how everything I complain about, she wishes she even had.

She says,

Possible trigger:

You complain you were date raped

At least you had a date!

I have 69 friends on facebook and every one of them is an acquaintance I know off line. i never 'friend' anyone I haven't personally met. I never friend anyone out of a sense of obligation, a 'friend of a friend', or because I met them online.

[Whisper888]

Lol!!! I've actually had some of the mean girls ask to be friends with me on Facebook. I hit. ..DENY.
Been there done that.
I figure...if I don't want.to share.my personal photos of my family...then I don't friend them.
And if their name passing my thoughts makes me grimace....pass:-)
You have the right to NOT be the nice person all the time👍

I like to keep my Facebook account very personal. So, it's mostly family and relatives. I add strange people, colleagues, and acquaintances on LinkedIn. There is nothing personal there. It is for connecting with people.

Most of my fb friends are relatives who are in Arizona or Oregon; it is just a way to hear about anniversaries, births, etc.

I only have three "nonrelative" fb friends who are all in Arizona. Since I am on the East coast, this is the only way I can stay in touch. I have decided not to friend anyone who is local. I would rather see them face to face.

[TishaBuv]

My fb started with my HS friends. It was like a year-long reunion.
I confess I looked up every ex bf and friend requested them!
Then the flood of people from my original home town came, some friends from college came, all my extended family connected, all my present-day friends and people from my current town connected.
Then I started working this agent job and professional colleagues and customers started connecting.

It's a funny dynamic now because there are friends who were once punk rockers with me and there are bankers and lawyers and doctors, oh my. And some punk rockers are now lawyers...

[TishaBuv]

It is I who am the impulsive one.

I actually want to say hello to everyone I recognize. I like reconnecting. Those ex bf's are just friends now, and I enjoy the commenting and voyeurism into each other's lives.

I am really quite an exhibitionist.

So, say I said hello to the boy who fondled my feet. I would get off, in a way, of reminding him of that and seeing what he remembered and what he said about it now. I don't know why. And I don't have to do that, so I won't. But I'm just admitting it to you folks.

And I would LOVE to give it to the mean girl if I ran into her. It would make me feel good to let her know how she traumatized me. Plus, I would hope she would apologize. Maybe she would even tell me that she, herself, had huge issues that caused that. There would be an emotional healing in that confrontation. And even if she were to act like a mean B once again, when confronted, at least now as an adult, I would be full strength to deal with it.

[TishaBuv]

IRL, I am so isolated. I live in a house that needs constant cleaning and repair. I work a job that can keep me beyond busy (which I cannot do because of family). I cook. I have a small circle I talk to on the phone.

I pretty much avoid everything else.

I am impossibly challenged to be in a healthy sexual relationship with my husband. I never expected this problem to occur in my life, but it did. It takes the wind out of my sails.

It happened again last night.

Nothing matters. None of this fb shyt matters.

[avlady]

i like facebook only because i need to know whats going on in my large family. i enjoy posting with them too.

It just seems like you long to reach out to people and be loved back. It can be awkward to express how great this need is to our Hs and there can be moments when they can fulfil the ache; yes, it is nice to have sex when you feel this way but these moments certainly do not happen as often as we might like. I don't know what happened last night; if he was just having a bad day but really does loves you. You have bad days too. Lately, when I am feeling badly, sincere prayer has helped sooth me. Sometimes I just pray that I can accept the people in my life as they are and be content with the things I already have. Wanting what I do not have has been a sure ticket to misery for me. <<hugs>>
PS You are a very caring person, you do send these vibes out in the things you write here so it likely shows in your fb postings as well. So what we post really does matter (but not as much as your relationship with H and sons--I understand that).

[TishaBuv]

Possible trigger:

He went to initiate sex with me and started to kiss me, and I put my hand up over my face and blocked his face. Total panic. Then I jumped out of bed and cried, clutching my pillow to hide. He wanted to talk about it. I said I didn't want to talk about it. That was that. I am heart broken at my inability to love him.

The problem is me.

He's going to forgive you for this. Your pain may just make him love you more. The grass isn't greener...... You have bad days but you're going to have good days to.

[TishaBuv]

So maybe the bottom line is I am incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship because of my issues (whatever that might be). I have sincerely tried the best I can. If I have an illness or disorder, I have done the best I could in spite of it. But I can't succeed.

No more SH. I am who I am.

Your H knows you go through stuff and he still wants to be with you. I am sure that you are just worth the trouble from his point of view. Sometimes you just have to take life one day at a time. And the attitude that you are who you are is quite appropriate.

I am truly grateful that H stayed with me the year I attempted and beyond. It was beyond awful what I did and I felt like he treated me better than I truly deserved to be treated. Maybe we are both very lucky that are husbands are really good guys.