Every time I get emotionally invested in a girl, I feel...

Every time I get emotionally invested in a girl, two emotions start popping up.

The first and the dominant emotion is sadness and the second emotion is hatred towards her.

I have bad dreams that eventually get me depressed. During one of these dreams, I woke up. I remember that I felt like this girl is evil. She was the antagonist of my nightmare. I don't remember the dream, but I know that it repeated every night in one form or another. I woke up sad every time.

And all of this results in me not being able to talk to her without sadness coming out of me.

Anyone have a similar problem? Any advice? Thanks.

Why do you feel these emotions toward the girl you like?

I am not sure, I just feel sad. But I know that I sometimes feel sad when I can't have something, or when certain expectations aren't met.

Sometimes I feel positive that she likes me, but then I see her one time, I see her behavior. And I instantly "conclude" that she is not interested, so I get sad. Even though this "conclusion" is extremely irrational.

Which I guess leads me to feel hate towards her, because I feel rejected.

It's all stupid...

Are you seeing a therapist? It sounds like this is a deep-seeded problem and I'm not sure I know how to help at all.

Maybe you are having dreams about her being evil because you are afraid she will reject you and how that makes you feel?

How much interaction have you had with this girl? What exactly do you mean by emotionally invested? I'm not sure I understand how you can be emotionally invested in a girl that you don't have any relationship with or aren't even dating.

Can you clarify what your current relationship and interactions are with this girl?

Seesaw

Hey there, just wondered if you could tell us what your current status is with this girl.
Are you friends, dating. Or is this someone you see around school or work, but don't really talk too.

I am seeing a therapist, she is very helpful when it comes to family and human interaction, but when it comes to girls, I feel like she is not very helpful. I haven't gotten much more confident since I started going.

Well, yea. It makes me feel sad and eventually makes me depressed.

I guess I get emotionally invested because I like this girl. And when she shows signs of interest, I am shocked to my core.

The current girl... I don't really know her, she is my cousins friend. But I guess thanks to imagination, I feel like I do. So there is no relationship. I made strong eye contact with her and then she tried to get my attention by staring at me, and things like that. It took me awhile to realize what is going on. And when I did, I got very sad about it REALLY quickly. And now she knows she got my attention, but my cousin tried to discourage me that she is not for me, we have nothing in common etc... it's a long story.

But it was the same for the girl before, the girl before was my coworker. Except, we got to know each other fairly well. Thanks to this girl, I went fully depressed for a couple of months. Again, sadness.

She's a student that works at a bar one day a week. She's my cousins friend.

But I guess this is more of a general type of problem. I like a girl, but I am not "aware of it". I flirt using body language. Girl senses my interest. She flirts and/or shows that she is interested. BAAM, depression!

It used to be an issue with anxiety, but I feel like anxiety wasn't that difficult to overcome. I am clueless when it comes to depression.

I realized that I should have opened this thread in Depression.

I think anxiety can lead to depression very easily. It's the case for me. But back to your challenge: can you try to talk to her to test your fears? I also have this fear of failing, but fear, and I'm telling myself here as well, is an illusion. Can you make that move?

P.S.: I think you can move this thread where you wish it to be. Ask an admin.

Talking to her? Well, here's the thing. According to my cousin, she has someone. She met this person AFTER I realized that she has been trying to get my attention. I went there, but she was never there. Then I bumped into her, but she was surrounded by people. She met someone that same weekend. My cousin, told me that she wasn't supposed to tell anyone. I decided to talk to her anyway, but I gave up.

When I was entering the bar, I noticed her staring at me. I looked at her, she looked down. Then she looked back. I waved. She continued to stare.

I felt like she was toying with me, I felt very sad. So I didn't talk to her. I mean, I did talk to her, but not like I originally planned to.