[americantravel123]

Hello,

A girl I was seeing for a little bit is depressed and is having a difficult time health wise, she has bacterial meningitis, but she is also i think in love with me and dealing that heartbreak (first time in love and having sex). She lives in another country and we were only together for those 2 weeks, and i don’t plan on seeing her again for a long time.

Should I stay friends with her and continue to help her (she is in a rough spot with family too, sometimes not sure if she has anyone else), or should i break it off so she can heal her heartbreak. (but she still has to deal with meningitis and currently very weak body (and meningitis can aggravate depression as well, and she has been in so much physical pain for a few weeks, and there are a few other issues with body going on as well hormonally (she took plan B but the plan B has messed up her body too much, she should not have taken it).

It is a very tough situation and i am not sure what to do. I think that maybe being her friend is not positive for her and she needs to get over me.

[Skeezyks]

Hello americantravel123: Welcome to PsychCentral. Well... given that I know only the sketchiest details regarding this situation, it sounds to me as though this was pretty-much just an extended "one-night-stand", so to speak... a fling you had in another country. It doesn't sound as though there is any commitment to this girl on your part. So my personal perspective would be that it may be best to simply break the relationship off in as gentle & compassionate, but complete, a way as possible. And don't see her again in the future.

[BlueEyedMama]

I agree with Skeezyks. I would end contact with the young lady as nicely as possible and not plan on seeing her again.

[americantravel123]

Originally Posted by BlueEyedMama

I agree with Skeezyks. I would end contact with the young lady as nicely as possible and not plan on seeing her again.

(below is what i am thinking of sending her, note she was suicidial/telling me she was going to end her life yesterday when her meningistis came back and she learned she would have to take antibiotics again which really messed with her the first time she had it), since then she has gotten treatement and is doing a little better physically and mentally. I had said I love you to her in the past, because I meant it we were very connected, never said it before like that, but I don’t know if it is good if I say it again like I do in the note below.) Thanks for any advice. (she has family but they aren't getting along, i worry that she won't have anybody once i stop contact, but part of me also thinks she is for some reason blocking out the others because of her in-secure connection with me?)

Hi ___,

I think being your friend is causing more harm than good. I think we should stop contact, you need to focus on yourself and your family. I love you and wish you the best for your recovery, but I am not the one for you, and being your friend I think is playing with your emotions.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by americantravel123

(below is what i am thinking of sending her, note she was suicidial/telling me she was going to end her life yesterday when her meningistis came back and she learned she would have to take antibiotics again which really messed with her the first time she had it), since then she has gotten treatement and is doing a little better physically and mentally. I had said I love you to her in the past, because I meant it we were very connected, never said it before like that, but I don’t know if it is good if I say it again like I do in the note below.) Thanks for any advice. (she has family but they aren't getting along, i worry that she won't have anybody once i stop contact, but part of me also thinks she is for some reason blocking out the others because of her in-secure connection with me?)


Hi ___,


I think being your friend is causing more harm than good. I think we should stop contact, you need to focus on yourself and your family. I love you and wish you the best for your recovery, but I am not the one for you, and being your friend I think is playing with your emotions.

Drop the " I love you " bit

[MickeyCheeky]

If you think that being her friend is doing more harm than good then yeah, cutting contacts is the best solution. Painful at first, though.

Unfortunately I'm no good with letters and messages, so I can't help you