I don't know if this is right topic to put in this forum but anyway.

I really don't know what to do.
My sister and my mum have betrayed me. We thats how I feel and I feel.I can't trust them. I feel I can't be my self. I can't be angry. I can't be over joy. Its like they trying to put me in a jigsaw puzzle that won't fit.

So what happened was I been seeing my psychotherapist for a couple of months now. I've felted getting better. Standing up for myself and dressing the way I use too.
My therapist told me I been treated as the escape goat in the family.
Everything is always my fault. Even say for example my mum opens the fridge and the chicken is gone, its my fault. When it was my sister's boyfriend who ate it.
Or say I have my book and headphones on the coffee table my mum goes into a angry rage! But if its my sister oh no its ok. What happened to me is when I really saw the truth. So I went for a shower at 6 in the evening because my stomach was sore. No one told me how the water bill was high.
So I stepped in the shower and as I did. My mum bang on the door saying she needs a shower and she kept bamging on the door. I said "Don't tell me what to do" then she bang on the walls. Deep down I felted really anxious like a little girl. Moments later maybe after 10 mins. The temperature of the water change from hot to cold. I knew my mum was doing this. Because if you uae the kitchen tap it can affect the shower water. I ignored it because I thought if I give into her behaviour she knows that "if I do this to her, it works". Then suddenly the s water was turn off. I knew.what she did. I couldn't believe she would go that far! I felted really upset and angry. I dry myself and got changed. I went to her and dad wasn't in the living room so I suspected he turn off the shower. (p.s. My mum and dad broke up when I was 7. Whenever my dad comes over she always make him do something. Like cleab the garden or go down the road and get wine. She gives him her card.to pay.for it) I went up to mum and said calmly "Did you turn off the water"? She smiled. And said yes. I said to her "I don't appreciate being treated this way. I feel hurt. I don't want a relationship with you until your behaviour changes" she said "what about your behaviour" and then she looked at her phone and competently dismissed me. I went in my bedroom and just.cried. I don't know why.

Then just last week. My sister told me she rang my keyworker. I said what why? She said I tols them "you are passive aggressive and he has a different opinion about you" she went off. And I just.cried in my bedroom. I felted so betrayed. I feel I can't trust my family at all or my keyworker or my.thearpist. That I should die and no one would care if I die. I had images in my mind to hang myself. I rang my partner he felted really strongly I should move in with him and his parents. So he went to speak to his mum I went to speak to.my sister and asked exactly what happened. She said she rsng my keyworker and said she was concerned and that they been sold the wrong story about shower and Im abusive.

The following day I asked my mum about it anf she said I said something hurtful to her but I haven't swear at her or call her names. And that Im abusive. It really hurt me what she said. She say things like "Do you think its.fair the way Im treated." I said "no I don't think that way" then she said " well you not thinking hard enough "

Now and then she would call me names or swear words name.

Anyway my partner whom I been with 8 years said his mum says its ok. But the house can be abit chaos and if we go anywhere to tell her where you go.

So Im not too sure what to do.

[Trippin2.0]

I would rather live in a bit of chaos and report my whereabouts than live with your family.

Your family sounds horrible.

[Bill3]

If your family wants to treat you in such a disrespectful manner, then I say don't talk to them and don't tell them anything about your life. If that isn't enough get restraining orders against them and tell them to screw off.

You don't deserve "family" like that. Just because you are related by blood doesn't mean a damn thing.

After all, any random idiot couple can have sex and pump out a kid, does that make them worthy of respect? Hell no. If your family won't give you the respect you deserve than you have no obligation to include them in your life.

You're better than that.

[mugwort2]

I say move in with your partner asap. Your folks sound like they could drive you crazy . What I mean you need them , especially your mum like a hole in the head. BTW What is a keyworker. Is that a UK equivalent of social worker, counselor, case manager etc?

Originally Posted by mugwort2

I say move in with your partner asap. Your folks sound like they could drive you crazy . What I mean you need them , especially your mum like a hole in the head. BTW What is a keyworker. Is that a UK equivalent of social worker, counselor, case manager etc?

I be honsent I live in New Zealand.
I just put England because I don't want say if my therapist is on this website he knows it me.

[MickeyCheeky]

Your family is truly horrible Definitely move with your partner as soon as possible

[ahonestlie]

I feel you sister. I hope you know you deserve loyalty and love.

[reb569]

My gut instinct says move in with your partner, but make sure that any financial support going to your family is re-routed to you.

Do you trust your key-worker and therapist? Get them to help you if you feel you need to. You don't need to be treated that way.

Originally Posted by reb569

My gut instinct says move in with your partner, but make sure that any financial support going to your family is re-routed to you.

Do you trust your key-worker and therapist? Get them to help you if you feel you need to. You don't need to be treated that way.

Ok yeah that my gutt feeling too.

I trust my key worler but not my therapist.
Here why. I know its long but I really appreciate your veiw. Im kinda at lost.

need your veiw upon this.
I told my student therapist that I feel I love you.
He then said "You don't know me,you know-" I said I know I read it some where clients.project on therapist what they don't know. Im thinking phew! I save myself.
Then he said how my partner is supportive which is true then he said "I wouldn't have patience like your partner. I wouldn't have patience like I would have for my wife"
I feel hurt by that comment because I feel "Oh so no one has patience for me and no one likes me as a person or a friend"?
It bothered me so much that I cut myself with a butter knife.
Also I had killing thoughts because my sister rang my keyworker behind my back a couple weeks ago and told him Im passive aggressive and that they sold the wrong stort about the shower situation. The shower situation was my mum that turn off the water because she wanted a shower. That when it started and well what my therapist said didn't help either. Just triggered it even more.

I told him how my friend thought my therapist looked like my dad. Because of the transference. So we found a photo of.my therapist on Facebook and a photo of my dad to compare the two.
From there on whenever my mum or sister upsetted me or I felted like killing myself I looked at the photo of my therapist and I feel happy and cared. I wrote.it down and let him read it and I could see his shoulders where intense and swallowed hard.
He asked whats wrong feeling happy or cared for?
I said I thought it was bad. I don't think its healthy you know looking at photo.

He seemed ok by it. But me being curious I had to see did he block me.on Facebook? Well he just changed his name. I felted.offended though my partner said well imagine this say you taught Asians English and they constantly message you for help at the weekend but you wanted to have the weekend to yourself.
I realised that be annoying and I would just make my Facebook account pirvate.
Now.I.never message my therapist lets be clear.
But as my partner said "he just realised that clients and people can look him up" Im like "yeah he kinda...dumb. I mean if I went to study as a doctor or psychologist I would know to put my Facebook account private, its.not rocket science" my partner said because I look up and search on transference and my student therapist is still learning. He said I probably know more than he would in a years time. He says my therapist sounds dumb and Im more intellectual than he is. That why Im frustrated at him because he can't keep up. It took him the whole.of last year that my thoughts bother me. Or when I said I have long distance blood related cousin of Captain Scott who went down the south pole and he had a crew.memeber named Edward Wilison who Im related too. Then my therapist said "Oh...that why they call it Scott Base" and Im thinking ah.... How can you not know this? Its obvious.
Or when he said he be away for a few weeks because he going to Hawaii. Now from.New Zealand to.Hawaii is a long flight its a 12 hour flight. I told him this that be long flight thats like 12 hours. And he was like it is? Im thinking omg! This guy!
Other time he said he was.going to leave to build apartments and I know council here.in New.Zealand take forever of anything to approve. It take a year! And then sessions later he tells me this. I knew it already. I was thinking really! You just picked this up now?