he don't get it

<font color="brown"> </font> i know my husband loves me but...everyday he gives me a list of thing's to do...sometimes i'm too depressed to get off the sofa..like a lil kid at the last minute before he come's home..i cry and make myself do a few of the to do list...it's put's BIG pressure on me..when he just asked me to do the list...just the asking trigger's all of these anxiety ridden feeling's..sometime's i cry and other times i blow up at him...he think's just because i'm on med's i should be FIXED...

I'm sorry you are feeling so upset about this. Hugs.

((((((((((((((((((bluevixen))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry your hubby is putting pressure on you to be better and get on with life,
some ppl do not understand what being depressed is about unless they have been there,
i don't have any advice other than take care of you, you will be able to do these jobs as you feel better, are you seeing a therapist this might help

Perhaps your husband would benefit from reading a bit about depression and what to do for the person who is depressed. His local library could be helpful or maybe just google. I think you need to tell him that while you appreciate his help, a to-do list is making you more anxious. He is, in his own weird way, trying to help but is not considering that what he is doing may not be interpreted as encouragement. I think people who have a partner who is depressed feel that things are out of control and try to get some control back into the situation. Anyway, tell him how you feel and what you need and send him reading!

Blue...I agree that being presented with a list would only increase your anxiety. It sounds like he's trying to encourage you, but doesn't understand that by doing the list thing he is only aggravating your depression.
One thing I do...I'm pretty much always overwhelmed by the things needing to be done, and so I make my OWN small list. I do one thing (like yesterday I pulled all the weeds out of the front landscaping ..small area...but I'd avoided it for a couple of months!), and checked it off the list. Sprayed my dog for fleas...checked off list, etc! Just small things, but when I have three or four things checked off, I feel pretty good.
Maybe suggest to your husband to let you make your own lists and accomplish what you can when you feel like it!
Love
Patty

thank ya'll so much..i neded to hear from ya'll..god bless

Hello (((BLUE))). Try to take things one day at at time. Just thinking about being overwhelmed can start the depression. Just getting up and doing and not worrying about getting everything done is a help at times. Set a timer for 15 minutes and then just take a break and then consider what needs to get done the most and the least, and do the most important things first and then move on to the next thing on the list. Rewriting the list helps as well, so it makes more sense to you to get things done in a manner that is specific and available and can be done in a manner that is acceptable for you and your husband. perhaps your husband can talk to your therapist so he can understand that things are not getting done because of the depression and it is not getting done because you choose not just to do things in the house. Depression is very debilitating but you can get better but until then just take things one day at a time. Can you have someone come in and help you clean until you are feeling better?I hope things get better for you soon. Take care. Soidhonia