[samj40]

So, basically, I've been really depressed for the past week or so. Like bottom of the barrel, no way out, kind of depressed. I refuse to engage with our local mental health system because it's a joke, though. (They told me to do yoga last time, but that's another story...)

Anyway I've tried reaching out to my SO and they just point blank ignore me. For hours. For entire days. Then I commented how I felt alone and desperate and I get "well you need to give me ways to help". Uh... How about some friggin' compassion?

It's not the first time this has happened, they won't even engage with me. No calls. No offering to play games. No just talking to me. No, it's MY job when I'm depressed to fill them in on what I need, even though I can't think straight.

This isn't right, is it? I'm even more depressed and lonely because I feel like they don't have my back.

[MickeyCheeky]

It must be so hard to feel alone.. I'm so sorry. Just know that we do care about you, here, no matter what

[Zedsdead]

Originally Posted by samj40

So, basically, I've been really depressed for the past week or so. Like bottom of the barrel, no way out, kind of depressed. I refuse to engage with our local mental health system because it's a joke, though. (They told me to do yoga last time, but that's another story...)

Anyway I've tried reaching out to my SO and they just point blank ignore me. For hours. For entire days. Then I commented how I felt alone and desperate and I get "well you need to give me ways to help". Uh... How about some friggin' compassion?

It's not the first time this has happened, they won't even engage with me. No calls. No offering to play games. No just talking to me. No, it's MY job when I'm depressed to fill them in on what I need, even though I can't think straight.

This isn't right, is it? I'm even more depressed and lonely because I feel like they don't have my back.

No its not right. I too have no support within close reach except my therapist and best friend who happens to live 100s of miles away. In my last session we discussed how awful it is to be not alone but feel lonely. It's worse than actually being alone, as people are around but you have the added feeling of rejection on top of it.

Could it be time to change the people around you? I felt lonely and depressed for the past 2 years. My partner and father of my children was basically just existing in my life, adding to the stress. My parents and siblings basically don't give a crap unless it directly effects them.
Iv learned during therapy to depend on myself more and focus on my own happiness and how to get it. It has led me to begin thinking of life without my fiancee.

Is there nothing available around you therapy wise? It's nice to be able to speak to somebody out of the box. Im not one to usually advocate medication either, but I finally gave in and started antidepressants 6 months ago and they have changed my life. I never realized how depressed I was until I wasn't anymore. If that makes sense. It hasn't fixed my problems in any sense, but it sure makes it a whole lot easier to deal with.
Hugs!! We are here if you need to chat x

[Trippin2.0]

Not everyone is emotionally intuitive, not everyone can sense or anticipate another's needs, and being that unsure, probably makes them keep their distance, or do it because being alone is what they would prefer...

I too learned this lesson the hard way. That people can't smell what I need.

I'm very good at reading the room and figuring out what someone else needs, and I was mistaken when I believed everyone has that ability and much like you, ended up feeling alone and rejected.

I learned to ask for what I need i.e. in the event of this: I need you to ramp up the hugs and cuddles, arrange movie marathons as they're a good distraction, I should not be isolating too much, etc...

Not easy for me at all and I still struggle with it.

So sorry you're feeling so alone, but maybe elaborating is not such a bad idea, especially since your SO did express being unable to read your mind.

[Cyllya]

Originally Posted by samj40

So, basically, I've been really depressed for the past week or so. Like bottom of the barrel, no way out, kind of depressed. I refuse to engage with our local mental health system because it's a joke, though. (They told me to do yoga last time, but that's another story...)

Anyway I've tried reaching out to my SO and they just point blank ignore me. For hours. For entire days. Then I commented how I felt alone and desperate and I get "well you need to give me ways to help". Uh... How about some friggin' compassion?

It's not the first time this has happened, they won't even engage with me. No calls. No offering to play games. No just talking to me. No, it's MY job when I'm depressed to fill them in on what I need, even though I can't think straight.

This isn't right, is it? I'm even more depressed and lonely because I feel like they don't have my back.

I can definitely sympathize with having trouble communicating when stressed. The ideas seem so loud in my head; if only others could hear thoughts somehow.... Unfortunately, our reduced communication ability doesn't entail an increase in others' ability. Your partner can't read minds.

When I'm in a bad depressive episode, the best thing someone can do for me is take care of some of my household chores and/or situational stressors and otherwise leave me the heck alone. Talking at me for the sake of talking, asking to play games, and especially *shudder* phone calls would be counterproductive. Different people are comforted by different things. If one of my loved ones is having trouble, I'd probably try to help them the way I'd want to be helped unless they indicated otherwise (Golden Rule and all that).

Maybe discussing or making a list in advance (while you're in a better shape) will help.

[Im.Still.Breathing]

I'm sorry to hear. how long have you been with this person?
do you know why you're feeling this way? can we get a little bit more than just being depressed? or is it the not knowing why you feel like **** kind of feeling? cause I've been there and that sucks *** sorry for the language.

maybe your SO is scared to say the wrong thing to you. when my close friends or SO get depressed I'm so scared to say the wrong thing and make it worse. I try to be there but sometimes and this is why I asked how long you've been togeather with this person cause what if your SO thinks that you wanted to handle this is private by yourself? have you talked with them? communication is key in any relationship. I'm sorry to sound like a regular cliché.
my best advice would be to just to talk with them more. try to be understanding that they may not know how to react to depression, go at it like they don't know anything or that this is maybe there first time ever talking about it or knowing someone going through this. And try not to get mad at them for not knowing.

Hope everything works out for you. And just remember that life will get better.