Questioning my relationship

Hey there, let me tell you a little bit about my relationship. I need some advice. I feel like i have hit rock bottom and i just dont know what to do anymore.
Okay, to start off, my current boyfriend and i have been together for about 2 years. We didnt know each other long at all and i got pregnant. (i thought he was just going to be a fun person to be with for a little while and then hopefully it would have progressed to something else.) During this relationship we have had TONS of financial issues. We are still currently NOT living together due to the financials and we MIGHT see each other once a month now. He lives two counties away amd works too much. Anyway, i have now began to argue alot more than usual with him because he is never around to see me or our daughter. So im supporting my child and our child together with no help from him at all. He is constantly either working his job, working on his vehicle, or fishing.
I feel like im going crazy. I do love him and i would love if this relationship would work out for the best. But, i cant help but get mad at him and start a huge fight on a daily basis due to him not being around at all. Am i being immature? When he and i are together, we are very happy. Laughing, joking around, having fun. Its only since we are apart all the time. I feel like he doesnt want me or the kids or doesnt want to grow up. Im constantly telling him i cant take it anymore. I know couples have rough patches in their relationship and even in finances but for years? I need help in deciding if im stupid if i stay in this relationship. Should i just walk away and raise my children alone? Or should i keep waiting and hanging on? I need some outside light shed onto this issue. Im almost desperate for some advice of any kind! Please help

Hello Gypsynred9, I'm afraid I don't personally have any input on your post but I see this is your first post on PC, so welcome! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you are in this position. I can see how frustrating this would be. Is there anyway you could sit down with him and talk about this without the kids around? His responses may help steer you in the right direction for you.

Are you saying that he does not provide financial support for his/your daughter?

Yes, i have tried talking to him and he says due to the financials he cant snap his fingers and have everything that i want. In a way i feel impatient and childish and in another way i feel like im grown and i know what i want for my family and i dont have that yet. And yes im sayimg he doesnt help support our child.

File for child support with the court, while he still might not come around at least his money will.

Hi..you surely have to go to the child support court as Molinit says...and it seems he does not want a commitment or a family. Yes, I think you should move on and raise your daughter the best you can..It is his responsibility to help financially support his child.

I'm sorry that you are hurting..but continuing to chase someone that doesn't want to be involved is only going to cause you more pain.

Definitely get a child support order while you still know where he lives. If he decides to take off it will be a lot harder to get one. You deserve help.

Gypsy, you sound like a nice person doing your best in a very tough situation. What I have to say isn't going to be good news, but after some time digesting it, it might help you to move along. You're young and still have time to carve out a future.

You are not really "in a relationship." You are a single woman raising a child alone. Your child's father shows up once in a rare while (like maybe a dozen times a year) and that's really no more than him being a very casual boyfriend to you. In fact, he's not even that. He's relieved as all heck that you haven't pressed him for child support. He's putting on this little charade of showing up now and then acting nice, hoping you'll just keep doing what you're doing. This is not a family. You don't really have a boyfriend, or a relationship. You have a child and a baby-daddy who never signed on for any of this . . . and has no desire to. He has no desire to be husband to you, or father to this kid. That's a delusion you've created for yourself because you needed to. I'm so sorry, but it's time to let go of it.

I'm sorry for how this sounds. He may or may not be mature, but you are the one who has to face reality. 2 years and you're still living apart due to "financials" . . . and he comes around once a month? Where's he getting sex in between his visits to you? He's not in love with you. He doesn't love your child. Those are hard things to face. But you have way more of a chance to have real love in your life, if you let go of the fantasy you've created.

Find out what you have to do to legally go after this young man for child support. He'll be mad, when you do, and he'll say you are destroying the bond you had with him. But there was no bond, except him cheering you on, while you got nothing from him.

Maybe he wasn't even in love when you got pregnant. It sounds like you made a lot of assumptions. But the child is here, and I hope you take joy in this child. You will be this child's world.

Let the long arm of the law help you get the financial support your child has a right to from this guy. Then go on and make a life for yourself and your little one. This guy won't ever be moving in. Do you have family to help you a bit? When you accept some realities, and grieve your loss, you can move on. Look for someone to love and be loved by. You have as good a chance to find the real thing as anyone else.

I had to think long and hard on this one, mainly I agree with Rose on this, except for one thing.
If he gets earache every time he speaks to you he will and has moved further and further from you.

Anyway it's a moot point now, I would strongly advise just accepting this isn't what you think it is, and work on letting go.

I hope you have the strength and support to do what's best for you and your young one. Take care.

Yeah, he doesn't seem ready to accept the fact that he has (should have) a family now.. I'd understand if he didn't have enough money, but if he doesn't even want to try helping..

I'm sorry this is happening. Wishing good luck to you and your child

You can't force relationship on him or him seeing your child. But court system could at least try to force him to pay child support. Why don't you file for it? I also recommend you don't have sex with him. He clearly isn't monogamous

Also, don't go having a second baby by this guy. You'll just compound your misery.

Look for another man to be involved with who might genuinely care for you. However, no baby making, until you have a rock-solid commitment - like the guy marrying you and the two of you actually living together . . . and the guy saying "Let's have a child."