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Old May 13, 2017, 09:21 PM
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10 Toxic People You Should Avoid Like The Plague | HuffPost

It can be triggering for some to read this, just a warning, it triggered in how it described people I have had around me way too much.

Quote:
Stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to brain cells, and months of stress can permanently destroy them. Toxic people don’t just make you miserable—they’re really hard on your brain.
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  #2  
Old May 14, 2017, 10:57 AM
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It's a good list but I just follow the rule of if they don't bring me happiness I cut them.
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  #3  
Old May 14, 2017, 08:15 PM
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For some reason this link leads me to a "Bill Maher Blasted Over Ivanka Trump Joke" article instead. Can you re-link?
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Old May 15, 2017, 10:01 PM
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I don't understand how you are getting that when you click on the above link VO. I click on it and it brings up the correct article from the Huffington Post.
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Old May 15, 2017, 10:56 PM
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I get the right article too. Interesting one at that!
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  #6  
Old May 16, 2017, 06:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
I don't understand how you are getting that when you click on the above link VO. I click on it and it brings up the correct article from the Huffington Post.
https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/10-...he-plague.html

Is this the same one?
  #7  
Old May 16, 2017, 06:49 PM
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Not the same one I get VO. maybe clear cookies on your computer. That problem would take me to wrong places in the past....justa thought.
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  #8  
Old May 16, 2017, 07:09 PM
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Hmmmm, there were a few years during my 13 black hole years where my being a victim could have easily created (& probably did) a toxic person out of me.

Interesting thought about being judgmental. We all have some judgmental in us. Just judging a person to be toxic or not in its own way is being judgmental....after all being the toxic person they are may just be their passion.....I chose to use the word DISCERNING for that rather than judgmental
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  #9  
Old May 17, 2017, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn’t cool. They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others. Judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you’re best off cutting them out and being yourself.
I think the word is critical when it comes to the toxic judgmental type of individual too eskie. People who need to criticize another person for not having the right house, car, designer clothes and the kind of people that look down on others that have interesting skills rather then a white collar type profession. The kind of judgmental where the person making judgments is far from perfect themselves too.
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  #10  
Old May 18, 2017, 12:41 AM
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This list is describing people with mental illness as people who are self conciously trying to hurt others - why the **** is this being discussed in the positive? Who gave HuffPost the right to villify entire portions of the human population. Youd think a site for the mentally ill would be less receptive to attacks on people who dont know how to control the outlet of emotion their psychic pain causes...
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  #11  
Old May 18, 2017, 04:42 AM
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Huh. I'm not sure we read the same article. Being a gossip or manipulative and so on does not have to and usually does not coincide with a mental illness.
That kind of thinking just stigmatizes people with a mental illness.
Guess we will agree to disagree on that one.
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  #12  
Old May 18, 2017, 05:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelingOpaque View Post
This list is describing people with mental illness as people who are self conciously trying to hurt others - why the **** is this being discussed in the positive? Who gave HuffPost the right to villify entire portions of the human population. Youd think a site for the mentally ill would be less receptive to attacks on people who dont know how to control the outlet of emotion their psychic pain causes...
It looks like you got triggered FeelingOpaque. I did not take the information in the article as being about those who struggle with MI's. Instead, the article describes the behaviors of individuals that can actually be harmful to one's mental health and should be avoided. And if someone is struggling with a MI, these individuals who tend to be Judgmental and gossipy are definitely ones that can worsen the challenge and would definitely be one's to distance from.
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  #13  
Old May 18, 2017, 10:36 AM
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I feel like I am surrounded by toxic people. I experience negativity at home and at work. I wonder if it is the way I view people.
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Old May 18, 2017, 11:00 AM
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Quote:
I think the word is critical when it comes to the toxic judgmental type of individual too eskie. P
After living around the behaviors of both my parents & my H for all those years I did become critical because of how I was constsntly having to fight against them. When people drive you to thst point also, It is important to distance, no matter what the cause. We have to be mindful all around us of how our environment & those in it are effecting us in negative ways.
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  #15  
Old May 18, 2017, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baboo5 View Post
I feel like I am surrounded by toxic people. I experience negativity at home and at work. I wonder if it is the way I view people.
It could be that you "are" around a lot of toxic people though too. That is why I thought this article would be helpful to some of the members. It can help you better identify toxic behaviors in others and be more discerning about how you may allow these toxic behaviors to upset you.

Everyone has "a little" of these behaviors, it's the ones that are constantly presenting these behaviors that are the ones to distance from because they are simply not healthy to be around.
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  #16  
Old May 18, 2017, 06:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelingOpaque View Post
This list is describing people with mental illness as people who are self conciously trying to hurt others - why the **** is this being discussed in the positive? Who gave HuffPost the right to villify entire portions of the human population. Youd think a site for the mentally ill would be less receptive to attacks on people who dont know how to control the outlet of emotion their psychic pain causes...
I basically agree with you, FeelingOpaque. Nobody knows how the people on "the list" got the way they are.

I find lists like this Judgmental and Arrogant. Not saying the author is, I don't know.
  #17  
Old May 18, 2017, 07:10 PM
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I've been a toxic person at times and I have no issue with the article. It's just education.
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  #18  
Old May 18, 2017, 09:40 PM
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TRIGGER

here's the thing. I don't know how or why a child molester got to be who he is but I'm not inviting him over for Sunday dinner nevertheless
sometimes we have to take responsibility for ourselves and actions

Vernon I think you made a good point as well
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I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
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  #19  
Old May 18, 2017, 10:07 PM
VernonJenkins VernonJenkins is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacky8807 View Post
TRIGGER

here's the thing. I don't know how or why a child molester got to be who he is but I'm not inviting him over for Sunday dinner nevertheless
sometimes we have to take responsibility for ourselves and actions
I agree 100%
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  #20  
Old May 18, 2017, 10:44 PM
azu-nyan azu-nyan is offline
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This would've been helpful when I first tried broadening my horizons as I entered my coming of age period

The amount of people that came to mind even just reading that was so scary, but you live and you learn. That being said I kinda see myself under a couple of these categories too but it really has to do with someone's impact on you personally, just a thought that if someone hurts you that you shouldn't be looking to fix them unless they seek that as well or else it's damaging to yourself and you have to put yourself first at least to some extent.
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Last edited by azu-nyan; May 18, 2017 at 10:47 PM. Reason: read further into recent parts of the thread, wanted to add in.
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  #21  
Old May 19, 2017, 06:21 AM
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The term toxic people, is defined by the receiver (the person who feels damaged by them), not by the person causing the damage...And yes we must always consciously avoid those who are toxic TO US, always.
I've had many toxic people (to me) in my life, and those people likely do not have a toxic effect on everyone they encounter.

I haven't yet clicked on the link since I've experienced over the years that the Huffington Post is an unreliable and sometimes unsafe site (to your computer), which I'm sure is wht the person here who has link bringing them elsewhere, has some sort of malware=virus causing that issue.

Run a scan if clearing cookies doesn't fix it- those redirecting viruses can be very difficult to remove and often re-apoear. I would also recommend chanfing your passwords on accounts where u think you think malware came from.

Malwarebytes is a really good fuxer for those types if things (I use the free version for many years). My other antivirus software like AVG rarely detects or fixes those sneaky re-direction malware.

Thanjs fir thread and reminding me ti avoud tixic people in my lufe- I've list too many brain cells from them, and if I allow them to keep hurting me, my brain will be dead/gone.

Have a good day everybody. AND always PROTECT YOURSELF, because U R THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN; and always does it BEST.
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  #22  
Old May 19, 2017, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baboo5 View Post
I feel like I am surrounded by toxic people. I experience negativity at home and at work. I wonder if it is the way I view people.
No, likely not you, other than you've yet to learn how to effectively remove toxic people + situations, from your life. It's very hard to do sometimes,
Especially when that toxic person (to you) is at work or family.

I've left jobs that were great, bc I couldn't avoid the TOXIC person/people there (still maddens me that was the only way I thought I needed/had to handle it)...
And as for my Mother, the most TOXIC person I know (to me and likely many others), it's been a lifelong goal to protect myself from her TOXIC effects, which at this point, I unfortunately probably never will be able to accomplish.

Example: Last time I saw her (I went to visit), back in January, and after what I thought (hours) with her, hoping her toxicity was in my mind more than her actions, she proved AGAIN SHE is and always be a toxic person - And they cause you much damage long after you've last seen them,
Which is why I call those types of people toxic, instead of just mean.
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  #23  
Old May 19, 2017, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Example: Last time I saw her (I went to visit), back in January, and after what I thought (hours) with her, hoping her toxicity was in my mind more than her actions, she proved AGAIN SHE is and always be a toxic person - And they cause you much damage long after you've last seen them,
Which is why I call those types of people toxic, instead of just mean.
I am sorry that you once again had a negative experience with your mother. As one participates more in life and gains on their life experience, often a visit with a parent/family member that contributed to dysfunction in one's life can bring up some very uncomfortable feelings/emotions and it's not so much that you are left with damage long after you have seen them, but you just become more "aware" of all the years that same person was a negative/toxic influence on you.

If you are left with only more "hurt/disappointment" in your history bag that your brain has in it, you deserve to finally take a time out and "grieve". And as you are grieving for yourself, maybe you should grieve for her as well.

That list provided in the article where it describes 10 toxic behaviors in people, these are all individuals who use these toxic behaviors because while these behaviors can be used to "some" degree in a lot of people, the ones that use these behaviors too much are the ones that do so because it was what they learned to do to gain a sense of "control".

Well, human beings are born navigators and the main desire a human being has is finding ways to navigate in their life that provides them with a sense of safety. That list of behaviors that is provided is a list of how individuals find those behaviors that they "think" works for them and they end up grabbing that behavioral tool the most.

So, when you went to visit your mother, what you saw in her is that same tool box and what's hard about that is how "her" tool box hurt you and left you struggling with developing your own healthy self esteem. What is very challenging when it comes to spending time with a toxic parent or family member like you described, is not so much their dysfunctional behaviors, but the affect of that behavior and the reminder of how that individual's behaviors made one feel.

We just had mother's day and for many that can be a very difficult day. Instead of it being a day that is positive, it can be a day of "mourning" something that represents a deep personal "loss" for someone. Truth is, you don't have to "love" that person called "mother" either. And when one experiences that, it's important to mourn that, but to do so in a loving way towards self.

All these "toxic" behaviors are important to identify for educational purposes, and to slowly learn that when you come across these behaviors, the one thing that's important is to work on your own ways towards not allowing any of these behaviors to damage your efforts to practice self love and enlightenment. What a lot of people don't get help with early on is learning that a lot of these behaviors that different individuals present are things one can slowly learn how to not allow themselves to "take" with them and stuff them in themselves.

Also, if someone reads these toxic methods and discovers they may use them, it doesn't mean you have to feel shame etc., it's an opportunity to recognize how much you might use them and work on reducing these habits and picking up more productive behaviors.

Last edited by Open Eyes; May 19, 2017 at 11:14 AM.
  #24  
Old May 19, 2017, 02:45 PM
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After feeling treated the way I was, I felt NO SHAME & feel no shame about the way I responded. Felt that actions have consequences...the way I responded was the consequence to that behavior. By the time I was pushed to that point I was beyond caring what effect my response had.
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  #25  
Old May 20, 2017, 02:45 PM
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thanks for this, Open Eyes
i didnt realize just how many toxic people i was talking to until i read that list
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