What Does Your SO Tease You Most About....

You have a lot on your mind, that is likely why your concentration is lower right now, when things settle you will probably find it improves.

I think the fact you know he has/probably does still read your posts on here and yet you continue to post/have not deleted your profile shows a lot about your openess. Maybe you want him to know what you are really thinking. Maybe he wants to know what you are really thinking.

I don't think it is reasonable to say being on here is not helping you, because you have a lot of stresses going on right now you are not going to be 'okay', that would not be a realistic expectation. This forum may well have got you through some rough spots that he is not aware of.

Does he isolate you (from others) in any other ways?

I really related to Laurie's post on page 1. I dislike being teased. Even by a significant other. It makes me feel badly and has the opposite effect that was possibly intended. I do think not everyone is the same though, so if you don't mind being teased, thats ok. I heard someone say once that it can be used as affection. But I hardly ever feel good when someone teases me.

No, not since my attempt. If I stick up for my rights, he backs off. So it really is up to me. No more lazy thinking. If I don't back down (sometimes I get exhausted and don't challenge him when I should) then, someday, my life will not be such a stalemate. I just have to keep fighting for what matters to me.

I am not sure why, but I am a little concerned. Do you feel you have to fight for your rights in this relationship? Do you feel like your SO tramples on and disrespects those rights?

I do see a couple red flags here, so I suppose that's why there is some concern. A relationship should be based on mutual respect, trust and deep appreciation. One shouldn't have to fight for that, so I am wondering if you need to fight for being respected, when respect should be the basis of a relationship and always demonstrated through action and words. Just wondering, no conclusions.

Perhaps the couples counseling will help, but he should admit to monitoring your forum activity and be honest. Also, if he is blaming your MI for his monitoring, that is an abuse tactic. It's turning the tables on you and he is not taking full responsibility for invading your right to privacy.

I am glad you are staying on the forum. (((Hugs))))

I am glad you are staying on the forum too.

I can relate to the 'sticking up for my rights', I had to do that a lot with my husband, no it's not ideal but I think power imbalances can happen in some relationships and therecan be various reasons for that..

I am very glad to read he does not try to isolate you now, and I'm very pleased you are aware and vigilant about that. Marriage counselling sounds like something that could be really helpful to you both.

I am very glad you're here, H/T.

And I agree w/Shazerac & several others above: Don't care how much y'all do or do not love each other , HE DOES NOT GET TO DECIDE WHAT YOU "NEED" or "SHOULD" feel/not feel.

Jeez Louise.

That's neither helpful nor useful nor even frekin reasonable, imo. Nor (again imo) is it loving behaviour.

You are the one who gets to come to those decisions, in your own way and time. I think you're amazing.

xo
Chyialee, grrrrr