[HazeyJoy]

Hello everyone I'm new.

Has anyone had a really consistent depression/social anxiety thing where it has manifested in to an anger problem? I live at home and I am incredibly irritable around my father who is also depressed and repressed. I went out in to the world, I failed, I'm trying to recover back home. I just have so much anger towards my father. I am racked with guilt. Does anyone have this? I am so ashamed of myself but it's become so ingrained.

[Sunflower123]

Welcome to PC. You'll find lots of support here. I've had to move back home and I know how that feels. I do have depression and anxiety but not anger or guilt. Are you seeing a therapist who can help you process some of this? Please vent here as often as you need. I'm here if you need to talk. Hopefully some of the other posters will be more up your alley. Best wishes.

[Misssy2]

My son is 27 and back home and maybe he feels like he failed too...and possibly that is where the anger is from...and when he is around any of us family members he is snappy and super angry.

So, I have read a lot about this "his anger problems" and I have read that anger can be controlled. You are aware of what you are doing and you have some remorse about it which is only making you feel worse and more angry.

This is what I would like to say to my son who takes his anger out on me:

Please remember they have you there because they want to help you and they love you unconditionally.

Please understand that you have changed THEIR lives dramatically too and they are probably not snapping it out at you but holding it inside because they see your pain.

My son will not seek therapy and is totally against it. So what i have noticed is he is in better spirits and nicer to me...when he has been out...like to the gym...or a ride to a local beach...walks are good (he doesn't walk thou)...

There are many other factors in my sons life that make him miserable and they get taken out on me. I don't know if it is the same thing you are doing to your Dad.

But, again..remember they are helping you and if you are unwilling to seek therapy or medication than..you have to find ways to control your anger like do google searches...about it...bite your tongue or count to 10 before responding to your father.

Or even better. I would love if my son would sit down and say Hey Ma..I realize I have treated you crappy....I feel crappy about myself...and I am taking it out on you. I will try to get better. That would be the ideal situation....Please feel better.

[DodgersMom]

i am 35 and had to move back home. it is very tough for me as my mom has caused me emotional abuse all my life and is still at it, i don't feel i can function well on my own and it's sad.

i am in therapy and i would suggest that to you as well, if you are open to it.

i am sorry you are dealing with this, and i hope somehow, you can find peace

[HazeyJoy]

Hi again
It is really comforting to hear back so soon so thank you so much for sharing.
It's good to hear from a parent's perspective.
I have never really had proper therapy...I was considering going on a waiting list but for free I think you get 6 sessions of CBT and I think you have to wait several months... otherwise privately it's really expensive (I'm in the UK) and i'm not working. I wonder if there are good books out there or things I can do that would replace having therapy? Does anybody have any thoughts on this? I feel my father has brought me up in a way where i am completely dependent...I am so furious...but I know i'm too old now to blame him. It's so difficult, I feel useless that I can't just suck it up and be a pleasant person.

Sorry if this is a bit scattered. Misssy2 I can't imagine how hurtful it is to have somebody you unconditionally love be so angry towards you. Deep down i love my father, but I am just so angry because, the place is constantly a dirty mess and it doesn't matter if I clean up it'll just revert back to crap everywhere, food dropped around the flat, piles of stuff everywhere...everything feels so dysfunctional, antisocial...over dramatic...plays the victim a lot. I know the bigger better person, would rise above it, be kind, understanding. I'm just so angry. I feel like I was neglected, or can you really be born useless? Anyway I suppose in a nutshell, I am blaming my parent for my problems which I feel they caused, and I constantly swing back and forth on whether that is fair or not. I've lost nearly all the friends I had because of my overly dramatic reactions to things which I must have learned from my father...I am literally becoming him. I hope this was somewhat helpful/insightful.

[Misssy2]

This is just my thought dodgersMom for me...because I would rather live in a shelter than live with my mother...shelters will find you a place of your own cheap...and especially if you have a child.