I dont think people really like me that much. Usually when I'm around people I dont talk much so I'm pretty boring to be around. I just wont have anything to say. So people probably would rather be around other people than hang out with me. I feel like people like other people more than me and that really bothers me. I feel like such a loser cause everyone else is better than me and no one wants to be around someone who feels this way about themselves. I feel like people just look down on you for feeling this way so I'm an even biggger loser for feeling this way. So pretty much I'm just a huge loser cause I'm not really all that excitng, I'm having all these problems with anxiety being one of them, I feel like I cant go on and cant do things without other people's support and help cause I dont want to be alone and just feeling like this means I'm inferior to everyone else. It just seems that people who have these problems like depression or anxiety are seen as losers and inferior people and instead of trying to help these people with their problems they just put you down. I want that way of thinking to change.

[AmandaBroken]

Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56

I dont think people really like me that much. Usually when I'm around people I dont talk much so I'm pretty boring to be around. I just wont have anything to say. So people probably would rather be around other people than hang out with me. I feel like people like other people more than me and that really bothers me. I feel like such a loser cause everyone else is better than me and no one wants to be around someone who feels this way about themselves. I feel like people just look down on you for feeling this way so I'm an even biggger loser for feeling this way. So pretty much I'm just a huge loser cause I'm not really all that excitng, I'm having all these problems with anxiety being one of them, I feel like I cant go on and cant do things without other people's support and help cause I dont want to be alone and just feeling like this means I'm inferior to everyone else. It just seems that people who have these problems like depression or anxiety are seen as losers and inferior people and instead of trying to help these people with their problems they just put you down. I want that way of thinking to change.

Hi, I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I understand it must be very hard for you. I can feel your pain. I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Reach out to people here and they will respond, yes it's a computer but even I find hope here. You can too...

If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me through a Private Message. I will respond as soon as I am able. Please be safe! You don't have to do this alone.

Amanda

[Keeki04]

Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56

I dont think people really like me that much. Usually when I'm around people I dont talk much so I'm pretty boring to be around. I just wont have anything to say. So people probably would rather be around other people than hang out with me. I feel like people like other people more than me and that really bothers me. I feel like such a loser cause everyone else is better than me and no one wants to be around someone who feels this way about themselves. I feel like people just look down on you for feeling this way so I'm an even biggger loser for feeling this way. So pretty much I'm just a huge loser cause I'm not really all that excitng, I'm having all these problems with anxiety being one of them, I feel like I cant go on and cant do things without other people's support and help cause I dont want to be alone and just feeling like this means I'm inferior to everyone else. It just seems that people who have these problems like depression or anxiety are seen as losers and inferior people and instead of trying to help these people with their problems they just put you down. I want that way of thinking to change.

I just want to say, your not inferior to anyone. Stay surrounded by a healthy friend group. To be honest I notice more than anything the people around me demand to have "good vibes" or a good atmosphere around them, but not for the sake of others...just for themselves. My anxiety has made it hard to connect with people, but at most for myself. I'm constantly thinking on the what ifs, but the answer I'm reaching for is to enjoy the moment! Which is by far the hardest thing I could ask myself right now. Like come on, anxiety! why don't you just cooperate once so I can build that friend group! Ugh! But that's also why I'm on this site! What makes you so sure that people think your boring?! Is their anyone who's still around after knowing your quiet?

I'm not saying this to be rude, but being around us can be draining for people who don't understand your circumstances *hence the reason they might be misguided by the situation. Are their any safe spaces around you that you may have overlooked? If not would you be willing to create that space? I'm sure the same people that you want to be friends with are dealing with similar troubles, but might not understand the full context of their own mental situation.

Pm if you want to talk.

[VanGore28]

You sound like a teenage me. If I am honest I still get nervous, I am just not a people person. Have you heard the "jimmy eat world" song called" the middle" Look it up, it will reassure you. You have to be yourself.
I had friends at school that abandoned me for more effusive and extroverted people.

Keeki-
Sometimes I watch "self help" YouTube videos and, coincidently, yesterday I watched the video:
How Not to be Boring

The premise of the video is that we are only boring when we are afraid to be ourself. I agree with the video and am trying to learn to be a confident enough person to risk saying what I genuinely think about everything more often. LOL Because we are anonymous in this forum--this is a good place to practice. You can start threads and see how interesting they are to others. You can talk about things that are bothering you here in a relationship in order to get the support/courage (and to organize your thoughts) so you can talk summon the courage to talk to people IRL. I have done this and it helped some. I am also more boring when I am depressed because I also have a very anxious type of depression. I am a friendly, extraverted person but my last bout of depression lasted years so I became very isolated and my social skills stagnated somewhat. So, if you are depressed, getting treatment for that could help. Now that I am less depressed I have been trying to get my social skills back by calling my family more often (they are on the other side of the country), socializing at church, and being more open about my feelings with my husband. The type of things that keep us up at night, make us angry, embarrassed, etc usually are not boring. In fact--I had to respond to this thread because I can relate to the feeling of "Im not interesting to people"--so I find this thread to be quite interesting! You are not alone--I have seen others at PC express some of the same concerns.

Keeki--
Check out the advice given here:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/soci...ml#post5689581
I thought it was some very good advice given to someone who shares some of your same concerns.....

[MickeyCheeky]

I feel almost the exact same way so I know how you feel. I'm sorry you feel this way about yourself.. I don't see you as a loser at all. Perhaps you just need to find the right people?

Hopingtrying's advice seems pretty good, so there's that, as well

[Sunflower123]

hopingtrying has some excellent advise. I don't think you are uninteresting at all. You are very articulate and intelligent as well. There are books you can buy about making small talk to break the ice. I'm an introvert and a good listener so I like the focus on the other person. I am genuinely interested in them and keep the conversation going about them. If you can do this to break that ice to start a conversation going, they will find you interesting. Give yourself a chance though. Try to be a little gentler with yourself and stop the criticism and judgment. You're ok just the way you are. Best wishes

[VanGore28]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

hopingtrying has some excellent advise. I don't think you are uninteresting at all. You are very articulate and intelligent as well. There are books you can buy about making small talk to break the ice. I'm an introvert and a good listener so I like the focus on the other person. I am genuinely interested in them and keep the conversation going about them. If you can do this to break that ice to start a conversation going, they will find you interesting. Give yourself a chance though. Try to be a little gentler with yourself and stop the criticism and judgment. You're ok just the way you are. Best wishes

I was going to suggest a self help book, but you have to be picky. Ones I like are the introvert advantage, and ones on finding your inner child ...

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by VanGore28

I was going to suggest a self help book, but you have to be picky. Ones I like are the introvert advantage, and ones on finding your inner child ...

I agree with that. Introverts are roughly 25% of the population (one statistic I heard). We need all the knowledge and guidance we can get to navigate those waters. Inner child work is also valuable. Best wishes

I feel the same. I have also noticed that people seem to make friends, at least as an adult, by bonding behaviors that are not acceptable to me. Gossip, talking about others, going to events, having things or travel. If you either can't or won't engage in these behaviors there is no "bonding" mechanism and they move on.

Originally Posted by Keeki04

I just want to say, your not inferior to anyone. Stay surrounded by a healthy friend group. To be honest I notice more than anything the people around me demand to have "good vibes" or a good atmosphere around them, but not for the sake of others...just for themselves. My anxiety has made it hard to connect with people, but at most for myself. I'm constantly thinking on the what ifs, but the answer I'm reaching for is to enjoy the moment! Which is by far the hardest thing I could ask myself right now. Like come on, anxiety! why don't you just cooperate once so I can build that friend group! Ugh! But that's also why I'm on this site! What makes you so sure that people think your boring?! Is their anyone who's still around after knowing your quiet?

I'm not saying this to be rude, but being around us can be draining for people who don't understand your circumstances *hence the reason they might be misguided by the situation. Are their any safe spaces around you that you may have overlooked? If not would you be willing to create that space? I'm sure the same people that you want to be friends with are dealing with similar troubles, but might not understand the full context of their own mental situation.

Pm if you want to talk.

I'm bad at starting conversations with people. I just don't have anything to say. Sometimes I have trouble keeping a conversation going. Once things get going I can sometimes think of something to say but people don't come up and talk to me cause I look depressed and people don't wanna talk to someone who's in a bad mood. People would ask me how I am but I wouldn't know what to say cause I didn't know how I was feeling at the moment. I wasn't good or bad I was just thinking. So usually I would just say I don't know. Sometimes how I was feeling would just be complicated so I wouldn't know what to say and I would just say I don't know. Sometimes it would be something I don't want to talk about and I wouldn't say anything. So people wouldn't want to talk to me cause I wouldn't give them much if they asked how I was. They would complain I don't talk if they try to talk to me cause I would talk about how I feel alone. I'm not good at asking other people questions. I just can't think of anything to say. I would try to ask people something like what's going on but it didn't help and I don't get any credit for trying. I would see other people talk to other people about their day and stuff but no one would do that with me which would be much better than asking how I am cause I don't know what to say to that question. But I wouldn't always have anything to say even if people started talking to me. So I'm a pretty boring and uninteresting person which is why other people don't like me that much. They would rather talk to other people. Sometimes if people ask me a question I'll need to put a lot of thoght into it to answer them so I can't just answer right away. If I talk to people I just talk about a certain topic rather than asking questions. For a long time I never thought of asking about other people which would probably help me talk with them but I just never thought about it so people probably think I don't care when I do care. But I'm just not good at thinking of things to say or ask and when I do it doesn't work but it seems to work for other people. Another thing is when my friends would go do something I wouldn't get invited to go with so I feel like they didn't care about me. I mean they haven't known me as long as other people so I'm not gonna be invited cause I'm not their best friend. People have to choose favorites so I'm not really cared about. Sucks when you have to move away from old friends cause then I have to make new friends and there gonna like the people that they've known longer more than they like me. Sometimes I wish I never moved from my old friends and wasted my time here that I'll never get back. People just didn't care about me cause if I tried to talk about my problems they didn't really try to understand and just got mad at me. But if I saw them talking to each other it wasn't like that. So I have a lot of disappointment cause I've been lonely all these years. I feel like I can't move on with life because I feel like I've missed out on connecting with other people and now everyone has gone their seperate ways. I wanted to connect more with certain people and be friends with certain people but I just couldn't talk to them for multiple reasons. I'm not just talking about the people who were uncaring. They pissed me off so screw them. I dont really want to be thier friends anymore. I'm talking about different people who I like that I wanted to connect with. If I don't connect with someone in the place I moved to with the people I liked I'll feel like I just wasted my life moving here. I'll feel like I've wasted time for not accomplishing what I really wanted to accomplish. Just missed out on things I really wanted to do and then I won't be able to move on with my life. I know it seems like I'm talking really well on here but this took me like three hours to write down and then after that I copied it on here. It just takes a while for me to get my thoughts together to start talking about something sometimes.

[UppyDowny]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm not a professional, but here are some things to consider. If you perceive people avoid you, there could be more at work than you being "boring". I too find "friends" pull back when I go through depression. It's hard to deal with for most. Others have problems too and it may be too much. Also, it may be a time to rely on family, warm lines, ministers or others instead because people just can't hear the same complaints or attitudes again and again. They're not bad, and you're not, it's just human nature. They need to keep their head above water too. Also, for someone who doesn't participate in conversations, I think their friend options may be limited. People have friends, not to sit next to in the coffee shop, but to bounce ideas off and share ideas. That's what friendship is about. You may wish to get counseling to help you discover yourself so you have more to say and feel it easier to share. Also there are warm lines and books that may help. Remember that what you are and have to say is just as interesting and important as them. Pick one thing you like, even if it's mundane, and think about some things to say about it. Pretend you like fish or walking or art. Write down some ideas to share and next time you're with one person, start by asking THEM about something. "Hey, I've been going to some museums lately, do you ever go" or "have you guys seen there's a new Thai restaurant? I've been dying to go". Don't expect any hoopla your first efforts but do it anyway. People want to find someone that they have things in common withogs, art, eating, games and on. And asking if they like it shows you want to get to know them. People LOVE to talk about themselves so focus on that if you can't share. Just ask questions. They will perceive you as friendlier. Be nicer to yourself too. It takes all kinds to be in the world. Personally, I share and talk TOO much. It's part of my Borderline Personality Disorder. I am also Bipolar so I have a hard time with friends. I rely on my therapist, family, books, groups like this etc to practice being a true friend and not hog the conversation. So you see, I am on the other end of the spectrum. It's ok. There's someone for everyone. Take care and here's a hug for you. Get some books and start practicing with the t.v. if you need. Answer the news, ask Dr. Phil a question etc. They won't help but you will open up. Good luck.

[comphack]

Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56

I dont think people really like me that much. Usually when I'm around people I dont talk much so I'm pretty boring to be around. I just wont have anything to say. So people probably would rather be around other people than hang out with me. I feel like people like other people more than me and that really bothers me. I feel like such a loser cause everyone else is better than me and no one wants to be around someone who feels this way about themselves. I feel like people just look down on you for feeling this way so I'm an even biggger loser for feeling this way. So pretty much I'm just a huge loser cause I'm not really all that excitng, I'm having all these problems with anxiety being one of them, I feel like I cant go on and cant do things without other people's support and help cause I dont want to be alone and just feeling like this means I'm inferior to everyone else. It just seems that people who have these problems like depression or anxiety are seen as losers and inferior people and instead of trying to help these people with their problems they just put you down. I want that way of thinking to change.

I think I can relate to this. I've made efforts to talk to people and the conversation doesn't go far. They usually find a reason to leave me for whatever reason, I'm not sure. I went to a group called celebrate recovery to try and fix my issues. Perhaps I am depressed and they pick up on that, or past issues are causing me to view the situation wrongly? After a year of self discovery, I learned that most people's issues are about themselves and their garbage. This brings me to a certain level of peace, however, they still don't converse or message me much and it hurts. I want to be a part of peoples lives, but it's not working still. I'm lonely and I've learned to somewhat accept that this is the way it is with me. I can't seem to fix it.