I have had this case manager that I grew really close to. I started seeing him over a year ago and he has helped me with a lot of things.

He helped fight for me when I couldn't even fight for myself. He believed in me when I gave up hope.

He helped me receive the grant that I've been on which has been helping me with my housing. He advocated for me to his superiors to get me things that I need. If it wasn't for him, I would be homeless.

Now, he decided to take a job at a homeless shelter to help other youths who have been through what I have. He has been known to be a strong advocate for youths who have been struggling with mental health issues, unstable living situations, or drug and alcohol abuse. In fact, he is also an artist and even designed some of the artwork at one of the youth shelters in my area.

So because of this, he will no longer be my case manager and I will no longer see him again. Hearing this news has been harder for me than I thought. He has become more than a case manager to me; he has become my friend. He has not only gone out of his way to help me, but it's because of his help that I'm in such a good position in my life right now.

For the first time, I am thriving. I am doing very well in school and I am interacting with hiring managers like it's nothing. For the first time, something that I've struggled with for so long which was finding a stable income seems not only doable, but something that I can pull off with minimal effort. For the first time, I am confident in myself. It's because of this guys help that I am doing so well and I'm grateful.

It still doesn't make it any less painful for me. I saw him for the last time today. He helped me get some new nice shoes as a final favor since I needed some new shoes since mine were falling apart. Afterwards, he treated me to Starbucks and told me how proud he is of me and how grateful he was to have met me. He told me how I've come so far since we met and how he used to get so frustrated with me because I used to fight with him to hell and back when he tried to help me. He said that he learned a lot working with me and he even said that he didn't think I would have come this far. Finally, before he left, he told me that he loved me and that he knows that I will do great things with my life and gave me a hug right before he walked out the door. Since then, I can't lie, I have been fighting with myself to hold back tears. Such a thing has been so emotional for me.

I will make it a goal to one day get to the point to where I no longer need services with the mental health center that I have been receiving services from so that I can seek him out as a friend and show him how far I have become. Until then, I will miss him. Losing a friend who has had such a positive impact on my life is never easy.

Cheers for the future!

[lizardlady]

{*{*{*{*DarknessIsMyFriend*}*}*}*}

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry to hear that your case worker and friend is moving on. I'm glad he helped you progress so far. I hope one day you do meet again as friends. Best wishes.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I'm sorry to hear that you're losing your case manager but I'm also happy to hear that you're thriving.

People like your case manager make the world a better place. You will always think of him fondly and you may feel sad now but later it will give you strength. You are going to be successful--I have thought this for a while. When you graduate; find a position/ are self-employed--eventually there will be a time when you can help others too. Because of his example, many of the people he helped will go on to help others too. His positive impact will live on through you!

[Bill3]

[unaluna]

You still have us. There are a lot of people here standing by your side. I find this sense of "having peeps" very valuable to me as i go thru life.

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

People like your case manager make the world a better place. You will always think of him fondly and you may feel sad now but later it will give you strength. You are going to be successful--I have thought this for a while. When you graduate; find a position/ are self-employed--eventually there will be a time when you can help others too. Because of his example, many of the people he helped will go on to help others too. His positive impact will live on through you!

I will admit, before I met him, the only person that I cared about is myself. I only thought of other people as a means to an end and all that ever mattered to me was getting my way.

My life experiences in the past year combined with the compassion he's shown me has taught me a bit of humility and compassion. I'm no longer the selfish, egotistical person that I once was. All be it I still can be selfish and even heartless at times, I no longer think just about myself anymore. I also do plan to try to help others later on down the road when I get to a place in my life to where I can do so effectively.

I can't lie, this issue still seems to be boggling me down a bit. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so depressed that I was constantly trying to keep my mind busy no matter what. I stayed up later than what I wanted playing my game, most likely as a way to escape. When I finally worked myself up to shut down and get in bed, I was reading random articles on my smartphone and looking at random cat pictures. When I was finally too tired to hold my phone, I was flat out crying like a little baby until my body shut down entirely.

Afterwards, I slept through my alarm and was almost late to class. I had to take Lyft because I missed the bus due to sleeping in. After finishing my English class and getting nothing done, I found it nearly impossible to focus all day and I was so overwhelmingly tired from not sleeping or eating right that I had to ditch my math class to go home to sleep. I got home and slept for only two hours and I am running late on an essay that is due before 11 PM that I'm going to have to submit a day late.

All of this because I lost the one person that I had left in my life that I could talk to about anything without fearing judgement and the one person who has been there for me. I'm trying to keep my head above water and focus on the good things in my life but it is so freaking hard for me. It doesn't help the fact that I don't see my therapist until next Thurs because of no school on Independence Day and what not.

This has been harder for me to deal with that I would have expected.

[Teddy Bear]

You'll find a new friend to replace your case manager just give it time ��.

I wish making friends didn't take so long and wasn't so hard for me.

I guess I will have to continue to be alone.

Perhaps, one day people will accept me. I just have to keep fighting and proving myself until then.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I am glad you let yourself cry. Crying is healing. He was very kind and dear to you. It's no wonder you are reacting in this manner. How many people in your life have you had show you that much genuine care?

I am grateful you had him for the time you did. It is good to know someone reached out to you and showed you the love and kindness you deserve even when you didn't know how to accept it. I do hope you're able to reconnect with him someday. For now though, focus on getting you "in order". Get yourself started down whatever road in life you want and improve your "self"s. (self love, self respect, self esteem, self image, etc) not saying you need to greatly increase all those things... but I think most of us here (myself included) have at least one or two of them we can improve on.

[lizardlady]

DarknessIsMyFriend, you are grieving. Your case manager didn't die, but you still lost an important relationship in your life. Rather than fighting what you are feeling how about letting yourself go ahead and grieve? You are going to be sad. You're likely to feel like crap for a bit and that's okay. It feels terrible, but it's okay. Grief sucks, plain and period, but if we can accept what's happening it does pass.

Good for you for letting yourself cry. Be careful about escaping into the game. Escape can be a good thing for a little bit, but eventually we need to deal with what we are feeling. It's not surprising you had trouble focusing in your classes the next day. Again, it's part of grieving. If you'd gotten the news that someone close to you died would you be surprised you had trouble focusing at school?

Hang in there. Like I said, grief sucks, but things do get better.

BTW, I wanted to comment on your growth in the last year. I've seen you grow and mature a lot in the last year. Good for you!

I just numb my feelings like always most of the time.

I immerse myself in school, work, and play. I avoid thinking and feeling about how hurt I am from having nobody in my life at all costs.

I keep my mind busy always. Doing so helps me avoid feeling so lonely and helpless.

I figure I will be ready to be loved and accepted by people when I get my life together. I can't very well do that if I'm depressed and hopeless all of the time now can I?

I love you now. I don't need to wait until you get your **** together. You're a really nice guy, who's had to deal with a lot of bad stuff that many people couldn't cope with. You're doing great. I'm sorry you lost your friend. But you have us, on here.

Originally Posted by Little Cat

I love you now. I don't need to wait until you get your **** together. You're a really nice guy, who's had to deal with a lot of bad stuff that many people couldn't cope with. You're doing great. I'm sorry you lost your friend. But you have us, on here.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

It's just that having people on here isn't the same as having friends in person that I can talk to and hang out with, you know?

I do. Completely. I'm sorry. It's the best I could do. I think of you often, and hope and pray things work out well for you.