Being Defensive with People

I started being defensive with people for some time.
A friend who tends to get irritated from small things at times, along a conversation sent me a "change your profile picture already" kind of message. I immediately interpreted it as controlling and didn't know what to respond, until I sent a blunt "No"

I am a person who hates showing weaknesses and defining himself, unlike some members of a WhatsApp group I'm in. They define themselves with traits such as sexuality spectrums, being sensitive, other traits (one even defined herself as arrogant, I found it unbelievable!).
Me? I don't know, I tend to not define myself, I don't see the point.

Sometimes, with all those social difficulties, I don't know who has the problems and who doesn't...
Over time I tended to feel everything is my fault and problems. I hate it when my a**hole therapist makes me feel that way.
I seriously don't know what to do

Do you see a therapist who could help you work on this? Why do you think you're getting defensive? Has it gone on long?

I have an extreme belief that people ultimately seek to control each other with that making me end up being inferior to others.
I've had history of mild depression and difficulties bending in with people. Lately though, I really fear opening up my heart. It's as if it's best for me not to do so, especially with narcissists roaming around. It's as if there's hardly anyone I can fully trust. Besides that, I'm currently working on focusing on myself more than I focus on people and feelings.

It's a messy web right now. I get the feeling I (and perhaps others) don't know how to socialize nowadays. There's no order, no clear way of life. Everyone is starting to have their own individual ways.

A therapist is not enough. I also kind of despite him, though I went to him in the first place to take care of the source of what has rolled me into increasing difficulties in life. It may be my family, but I just can't be sure.

I actually agree with you to some extent, so maybe something is wrong with me, as well (well, no doubt, actually). What I particularly agree with is that a lot of people want to control others and that a lot of people nowadays don't know how to socialize. It seems so hard to work on and fix yourself when you're constantly interacting with other people who have issues and they trigger issues in you.

Have you thought about looking for a different therapist? Sounds like this one might not be right for you.

Exactly! I will further add that I feel strange, when I have to "fix" myself in therapy, while people just freely let themselves behave however they want.

I thought of trying out a female therapist instead of male to see if it helps. I still have mixed feelings about my current therapist, though. Sometimes I feel he's great at helping me out.
...which is also a problem in itself - the mixed feelings about everything, even life itself

Saying "no" isn't being defensive, it's just having your values & knowing what you want. It comes across LOOKING LIKE defensiveness but it's about being your individual self rather than having your actions & behaviors controlled by society around you.

Yes, I defend my values & won't be pushed into doing something I don't want to or be something I don't want to be. We can respond to that in an abrasive way with an attack at those who are pushing OR we can respond passively & just blow them off, say nothing & just continue doing what we want or we can come back with a kind response saying this is how I FEEL about it....which usually ends up in an argument at best a good discussion so they understand YOU better.