Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Aug 15, 2017, 08:20 PM
Confused2017's Avatar
Confused2017 Confused2017 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4
Hello all,

I have fallen in love with a man. Our relationship is amazing, we have been together almost 6 months but we have a couple of issues.

1) He has been seperated for 2.5 years but I feel he was not "really" seperated. He would still attend his ex's family functions (even after we met, he went to her dad's birthday party). They still did christmas and birthdays together. He still was buying her birthday gifts. Does this sound like someone who has moved on? When I talk to him about it, he is defensive and has made it clear that he will not "leave" the ex-family.

2) When these issues arise, he is very defensive. I feel he argues like my 4 year old daughter. If I say "I feel hurt because I feel you don't care about my feelings with regards to your ex", his response will be "I feel hurt that you don't care how I feel about my ex family". Is this relationship doomed?

This guy is wonderful when things are good, but when it's bad, it's really bad.

Advice?

Thank you!
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Travelinglady

advertisement
  #2  
Old Aug 16, 2017, 11:15 AM
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
Hello, confused2017, and welcome to Psych Central! He might be separated from his wife, but he's sure not separated from anything else about her. That bothers me, especially since he's showing he doesn't care about your feelings. I assume he sees his wife at all these events.

I honestly think you should move on.
Thanks for this!
Confused2017
  #3  
Old Aug 16, 2017, 11:20 AM
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,222
Do you know for sure that he is actually separated rather than still married? Why isn't he divorced?
Thanks for this!
Confused2017
  #4  
Old Aug 16, 2017, 01:40 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
I agree with Travelinglady. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Sending big hugs.
Thanks for this!
Confused2017
  #5  
Old Aug 17, 2017, 07:21 AM
Confused2017's Avatar
Confused2017 Confused2017 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelinglady View Post
Hello, confused2017, and welcome to Psych Central! He might be separated from his wife, but he's sure not separated from anything else about her. That bothers me, especially since he's showing he doesn't care about your feelings. I assume he sees his wife at all these events.

I honestly think you should move on.
Thank you for your post, I really appreciate it. You're right, he does not seem to care about my feelings at all. I think that is the part that hurts me the most.

Yes, he sees her at these events so it sort of feels like they are still a "family"....or pretending to be. Since that one time, he has told me that he would not attend any more of her family functions. He has followed through on it so part of me thinks he sort of cares.

He has also done a couple things on his own. His son graduated grade 8 in June and his ex invited him to her place for a party (her family and his parents were there). He didn't tell me about the party until after but he did not attend. He only went to the school to see the graduation. I do like that he did that because I feel it showed respect for my feelings, but also he was still "there" for his son.

They were never married, I guess I should have said they broke up 2.5 years ago.
  #6  
Old Aug 17, 2017, 07:23 AM
Confused2017's Avatar
Confused2017 Confused2017 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Do you know for sure that he is actually separated rather than still married? Why isn't he divorced?
Thank you for your post. He was never actually married. I should have said that they broke up 2.5 years ago. It's when they physically stopped living together.
  #7  
Old Aug 17, 2017, 07:24 AM
Confused2017's Avatar
Confused2017 Confused2017 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I agree with Travelinglady. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Sending big hugs.
thank you so much
Reply
Views: 287

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:52 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.