Missing her but not

I miss certain aspects of my ex, even though the divorce has been final well over 6 months. This is the first I've realized that I do in fact miss her at all. I have no idea why I miss those aspects, because they were non-existent. I suppose it's the ideal her, which I held even though she wasn't that at all. I don't like thinking about her at all because she makes me depressed when I do, because there's no chance ever for her to be near those ideals.
Any help for breaking this cyclical fantasy thinking? Am I to be doomed with this? I know, I know, the therapist-mandated mantra, "I will release the thoughts to live in the present," but it doesn't seem to apply here, though it somehow probably does. I have no idea.

My perspective is that many people cannot choose to release these thoughts, because we cannot fully control our thoughts. In the mean time, then, my suggestion is to accept that these thoughts happen, not judge yourself for them, and continue with your regular commitments and plans. In time, the thoughts will lessen.

Great advice. Sending big hugs.

Of course you are going to miss her. That's pretty normal even if the relationship was bad. Cut yourself some slack. Keep trying to release the thoughts. It may sound trite and annoying right now, but eventually it will work

Even if it was abusive? I shouldn't have to hurt from another a554013 like this. I've only really started seriously missing her last night, when I did something we used to do together that was very fun. The sad part was that I didn't enjoy it, because she wasn't there. I want to be able to go back more and more, because I loved it before she went with me. I did go with the couple I very first went with. I just couldn't get into it

Give yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship.. There had to be good times .. That is the part of grieving that likely causing the feelings..

You're making sense. There were good times but a lot of them I've since realized were because of her guilt within herself or that she wanted something done of me. That makes me question the entire relationship as ever having had true good-ness. I hate this turmoil more than I ever hated myself. I hate myself because I was suckered in. I hate that I can't filter and find true good in the relationship. And finally, I hate her for making me realize that I know nothing about an honest and loving relationship and I probably will never find one because of her.
I could not be more angry right now.