I have this online friend I met about a month ago. We got really close really fast and I liked her a lot. She was the first person to ever care about me and my problems, and she was the only one I could talk about my mental health to. She came to me about her problems too and we helped each other. It was the best thing to ever happen to me and I felt like I was getting better for a while after I met her. I didn’t know the things I was going through were mental disorders, I just thought there was something wrong with me but she helped me realize a lot of things about myself.

But recently she just kind of disappeared for a couple days and I freaked because we used to talk like as often as possible considering our time zones. I didn’t tell her but I had a full-blown panic attack because my dad was yelling again and I couldn’t talk to her, and I was also worried sick. I almost cut myself for real that night and it was terrible, I needed her so bad but she wasn’t there. She came back but now she’s not as active in any of the group convos we have, and she doesn’t really seem to care about me anymore. I have no idea why and I miss her so bad. It was like I was in this happy dream while I met and talked to her, and it just overwhelmed me when I had to come back to reality and realize I was alone again.

The thing is, she kind of had a crush on me (she’s bi) for a while but I told her I was straight, and I think she’s leaving me because she got over the crush. I don’t think she’s going through problems or anything because she does text really briefly at times and she seems happy. And by normal circumstances she would have told me if there was anything wrong; I asked her if she was okay but she was just like "I was busy, sorry". I don’t know anymore, I miss talking to her so much but she doesn’t care about me anymore.

[Crazy Hitch]

Sometimes forming relationships with people online can be really hard, for this exact reason.

She likely isn't fobbing you off when she says she was busy, she probably was and simply doesn't have as much time to go online anymore.

I know that it may feel like she doesn't care, she probably does on some level but she has probably gone back to doing more things in the "real world".

It sounds like she really helped you. I agree with Crazy Hitch. You said she said, "I was busy, sorry." I would take that at face value--she gave you an explanation (rather than blowing you totally off) and when she said sorry that shows that she still cares/is concerned about you. I am sorry you are going through withdrawal from her.

When your dad is giving you problems if you post about it here you will likely get a lot of support. We have many young people on this forum experiencing similiar problems. And if you read other posts and provide support, you will likely make some more online friends. Have you ever asked your parent(s) if you could see a counselor/therapist? They could help you with your panic attacks.

Also, when you are thinking about cutting yourself, maybe reach out to someone else here who is struggling with the same problem or post about it on the self harm forum? Since you are a young person with lots of potential, your goal is to heal your mental health issues and eventually get on with the real world (post less like your friend--it is a good distraction but if you are spending hours and hours online then it can interfere with your life). Of course, it is better to distract yourself and get support onlline than cutting or being depressed. If you are in crisis--it could be helpful to find support online until you get yourself straightened out.

Your friend probably still cares and helped you see what is wrong. It is healthier for you not to think of her constantly and talking to her less will help with this. An online friend can only do so much. I hope that she stays in touch. Please don't be angry at her (I don't know if you are) if she just checks in occassionally--hopefully, you both stay in touch occasionally.

Thank you, i think that helped.

First of all, no, I haven't asked my parents if i could see a counselor because they're the main reason for my problems. Also because the online friend i mentioned is the only person who knows anything related to my mental health, and it's kind of hard for me to mention this to anyone in real life. Mental health problems aren't as well known or commonly treated in my country (or so I feel) and I don't really let real-life friends know about my family problems. I think that's why she felt so important to me, idk.

And I'm not really angry at her, just having a hard time coping without her. I'll take your advice and try to live more in the real world, thank you for helping.

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you’re hurting. I agree with Crazy Hitch and Hopingtrying. Excellent advice. Sending big hugs.

[Shazerac]

I don't think she doesn't care about you anymore. Online relationships are tricky because sometimes real life stuff kicks in and the online relationships fall by the wayside. She said she'd been busy. Give her space and believe her.

I'm picking up on the fact she is bi and says she had a crush on you, I am wondering if she is maybe keeping distance because the crush makes her feel awkward, I may be offbeam here but it's something to consider.

I'm not so sure about the bi thing being a reason. A poster above mentioned how real life affects online routines (and the opposite). I agree with this line of thinking. You simply cannot control the demands of her life and her availability. In fact, I think this is rather healthy that she is possibly not allowing online social media to affect her real life. Think about your own internet activities and your expectations of her availability; are they reasonable? If you are sitting around waiting for contact from her consider what you are missing in real life. It sounds to me like this has become habit forming and that really isn't very healthy.

[MickeyCheeky]

She's probably saying the truth when she says she's busy. So I wouldn't worry about that. I'm sorry you're struggling to cope withouth her. I think this reveals the fact that you were a little bit too much emotionally dependent on her. That's why if you could afford a therapist, it might be helpful - you might learn new ways to cope with yourself and your parents.