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  #1  
Old Oct 25, 2017, 06:22 PM
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eclairparty98 eclairparty98 is offline
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I'm having a tough time dealing with someones behaviour which has been a major trigger for nearly a year now. Hoping for some rationalising here as my next therapeutic session is far away. It's kind of like remembering a school bully except he didn't bully me, he bullied other people. I've never met him, I've never addressed him, we live in separate countries. There is nothing there between us. A long time ago, I was made aware of controversy surrounding him and I looked really deep into it and came across some awful stuff; death threats, violence, racism, misogyny and a blatant disregard of basic human kindness.

I don't know how to deal with this unwanted knowledge of how awful someone can be. What's even more ridiculous is that there are even worse people out there. A LOT worse. But the things they'd say to people were so evil it's not easy to erase that from my memory.

It was really evil:

In one video, he hopes a pregnant woman he'd argued with would have a miscarriage. WHO says this?? I know a lot of awful people but I could never EVER wish this on someone having seen first hand the devastation a miscarriage can cause. This is evil. Or could I perhaps be exaggerating??

I know there are murderers out there and animal abusers but openly and publicly wishing for a woman to miscarry is equivalent to violence. It's just so, so, so wrong.
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  #2  
Old Oct 25, 2017, 09:13 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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You've never met him, never addressed him and you live in different countries. There is nothing between you. So.... you don't need this person on your life. Yes there are some awful people out there, that's true. You can make your life safe by making sure you don't spend time with people like that. Maybe you are triggered because you've been at the receiving end/or witnessed such... but you can choose now to be safe.
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  #3  
Old Oct 25, 2017, 10:39 PM
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winter loneliness winter loneliness is offline
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Do not pay attention to this person at all. Do not follow, listen or read about them. You are giving them too much power.

I "disconnect" from time to time. Trump really, really, really bothers me.
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  #4  
Old Oct 26, 2017, 12:01 AM
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sky457 sky457 is offline
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One of the hardest things I've had to accept into adulthood is that there are terrible people out there who receive those joy from seeing others suffer and want to pull down others.

Its sad that instead of seeking help for their terribleness, they need to take it out on others.

Iron curtain those who do. No contact, no sight, or sound. Find the good ones in life.
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  #5  
Old Oct 26, 2017, 02:04 AM
nikon nikon is offline
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I think it's best just to disconnect from this person's videos/pictures/words and anything reminding you of them. there are plenty, plenty of people in the world saying similar things and worse, and if it affects you so negatively you don't need to put yourself through it. you can't realistically do anything about all these terrible people. the only thing you can do is be a good, fair and just person yourself, and stand up for oppressed people in your own life.
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  #6  
Old Oct 26, 2017, 07:42 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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I had nightmares for a whole year over a scary movie because of the evil things a person could do. This movie showed me evil I could have never imagined!

I did get over the feeling and the nightmares from it. You will too.
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  #7  
Old Oct 26, 2017, 11:49 AM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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  #8  
Old Oct 27, 2017, 10:07 AM
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eclairparty98 eclairparty98 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winter loneliness View Post
Do not pay attention to this person at all. Do not follow, listen or read about them. You are giving them too much power.

I "disconnect" from time to time. Trump really, really, really bothers me.
Ahaha, yeah I know exactly what you mean - it's kinda like that. I do not watch the news nor do I watch much television anymore and choose what I keep up to date with thanks to the internet.

Thank you for the advice
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  #9  
Old Oct 27, 2017, 10:12 AM
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eclairparty98 eclairparty98 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sky457 View Post
One of the hardest things I've had to accept into adulthood is that there are terrible people out there who receive those joy from seeing others suffer and want to pull down others.

Its sad that instead of seeking help for their terribleness, they need to take it out on others.

Iron curtain those who do. No contact, no sight, or sound. Find the good ones in life.
Yes, sky457, I relate to this very, very much -- it's heartbreaking and incomprehensible how some people can be so inhuman to others. Not to mention animals!!

I'm definitely keeping the good ones close
  #10  
Old Oct 27, 2017, 10:14 AM
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eclairparty98 eclairparty98 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikon View Post
I think it's best just to disconnect from this person's videos/pictures/words and anything reminding you of them. there are plenty, plenty of people in the world saying similar things and worse, and if it affects you so negatively you don't need to put yourself through it. you can't realistically do anything about all these terrible people. the only thing you can do is be a good, fair and just person yourself, and stand up for oppressed people in your own life.
This is very true!! Compassion is so important and a trait all humans need. Thank you.
  #11  
Old Oct 27, 2017, 10:17 AM
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eclairparty98 eclairparty98 is offline
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Thank you, everyone - great advice here. I'm avoiding areas of social media, being careful to stay away from 'related' topics as they have somewhat of an online personality.

Thank you all, again, so much, for the kind and generous support
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  #12  
Old Oct 29, 2017, 12:16 PM
All Is Revealed All Is Revealed is offline
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I completely understand how you perceive this person. How could such evil exist?

Think of it this way: This individual must be empty inside ... so empty that his only joy is making fun of others.

He's the perfect example as to why we need to disconnect from all negative types of social media. And focus on what makes us feel good.
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