[Bookworm257]

Hi. I'm almost turning 16. I should know to talk to others by now. But I just don't. I have always been more a loner and an introvert, and kind of shy. I was able to make maybe 3 friends in elementary school, but by the time I got to middle school I had no friends (note that I had moved to a new school). I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I was quite awkward. I didn't know how to act around my peers, and attempts to make friends were unsuccessful. I wasn't even aware of how awkward I was being, which sounds weird, but it's true. I also started getting really tense and overwhelmed when someone I didn't know (or just barely knew). My brain would just freeze. I wouldn't know how to act, and had a lot of trouble maintaining eye contact for more than a split second. For whatever reason, my brain wouldn't function and I would have intense trouble getting out more than a word because I just didn't know how to. I would also get a red embarrassed feeling in my cheeks and just feel really uncomfortable and overwhelmed. I don't think it's social anxiety disorder, because social anxiety involves just being in front of people and a constant anxiety in any social area or crowd, which I don't have. An example of these problems is when sometimes, my dad's gf's daughter comes over, and she'll ask me about my day. She'll say "How was your day? What did you do at school?" I'll say "Good", and not be able to get any other words because something will just stop me. I will also look at maybe her shirt or something behind her, because making eye contact is too overwhelming.
Does anybody else feel overwhelmed talking to other people?
I feel like part of the reason I'm so awkward is because of the overwhelm I feel. But the awkwardness has always been there, even before I began intense overwhelm in social situations, so maybe it's just the way I naturally am. I don't know what this is, but I'm almost certain it isn't normal because everyone else, even if they're shy, still knows how to act appropiately in social situations while I don't. Typically I just stare blankly because I don't know how to use body language or gestures at all. I have tried to improve, but it hasn't improved much. I have also been diagnosed with adhd if that has anything to do with it.

[MickeyCheeky]

Welcome. Hope people here will be able to help you..

[Caelix3]

Originally Posted by Bookworm257

Hi. I'm almost turning 16. I should know to talk to others by now. But I just don't. I have always been more a loner and an introvert, and kind of shy. I was able to make maybe 3 friends in elementary school, but by the time I got to middle school I had no friends (note that I had moved to a new school). I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I was quite awkward. I didn't know how to act around my peers, and attempts to make friends were unsuccessful. I wasn't even aware of how awkward I was being, which sounds weird, but it's true. I also started getting really tense and overwhelmed when someone I didn't know (or just barely knew). My brain would just freeze. I wouldn't know how to act, and had a lot of trouble maintaining eye contact for more than a split second. For whatever reason, my brain wouldn't function and I would have intense trouble getting out more than a word because I just didn't know how to. I would also get a red embarrassed feeling in my cheeks and just feel really uncomfortable and overwhelmed. I don't think it's social anxiety disorder, because social anxiety involves just being in front of people and a constant anxiety in any social area or crowd, which I don't have. An example of these problems is when sometimes, my dad's gf's daughter comes over, and she'll ask me about my day. She'll say "How was your day? What did you do at school?" I'll say "Good", and not be able to get any other words because something will just stop me. I will also look at maybe her shirt or something behind her, because making eye contact is too overwhelming.
Does anybody else feel overwhelmed talking to other people?
I feel like part of the reason I'm so awkward is because of the overwhelm I feel. But the awkwardness has always been there, even before I began intense overwhelm in social situations, so maybe it's just the way I naturally am. I don't know what this is, but I'm almost certain it isn't normal because everyone else, even if they're shy, still knows how to act appropiately in social situations while I don't. Typically I just stare blankly because I don't know how to use body language or gestures at all. I have tried to improve, but it hasn't improved much. I have also been diagnosed with adhd if that has anything to do with it.

Honestly sounds like autism.

I struggle with a lot of the same problems.

Never too late to get diagnosed with it either. I got diagnosed at 18, and I'm 19 now.

I know having another label might seem bad. But having that label can be helpful. You will have more resources to get help.

People will be more patient with you and you might be able to get help with social skills.

[Bookworm257]

Originally Posted by Caelix3

Honestly sounds like autism.

I struggle with a lot of the same problems.

Never too late to get diagnosed with it either. I got diagnosed at 18, and I'm 19 now.

I know having another label might seem bad. But having that label can be helpful. You will have more resources to get help.

People will be more patient with you and you might be able to get help with social skills.

I have searched up autism online before, adn to be honest I feel like that kind
of describes me. I didn't pay too much attention to my problem until my parents brought it up.

[Sunflower123]

(((((Hugs)))))

I had to order my son's meal in restaurants until he was about fourteen. He couldn't talk to the server himself. He had very few friends. He could talk to his family, but had great difficulty talking to others. He would whisper his food order in my ear to tell to the server. That changed for him. He modelled me. I also have some social anxiety, but I counter act it by being the first one to talk to whomever I encountered. I would walk up to a counter and say "Hi, how are you?" You see, now you've put them on the spot, now it's about them doing all the thinking, they have to formulate a response. Meanwhile you can think about what you want to say next. If you have difficulty talking to others, then try and start the conversation, before someone asks "how was your day?", ask them how their day was. So now they have to do the talking. If it bothers them that you give one word answers, then rotate the words, fine, uneventful, okay, good. "How was your day" is actually just a question that requires you to acknowledge their existence. It's a protocol people use. I actually don't like that question, because to truly answer it would require several paragraphs, and I'm not convinced the party asking the question actually wants to hear several paragraphs. Or you could think up a sentence to say, like: okay I guess, how was yours? Then let them talk.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Bookworm257

Hi. I'm almost turning 16. I should know to talk to others by now. But I just don't. I have always been more a loner and an introvert, and kind of shy. I was able to make maybe 3 friends in elementary school, but by the time I got to middle school I had no friends (note that I had moved to a new school). I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I was quite awkward. I didn't know how to act around my peers, and attempts to make friends were unsuccessful. I wasn't even aware of how awkward I was being, which sounds weird, but it's true. I also started getting really tense and overwhelmed when someone I didn't know (or just barely knew). My brain would just freeze. I wouldn't know how to act, and had a lot of trouble maintaining eye contact for more than a split second. For whatever reason, my brain wouldn't function and I would have intense trouble getting out more than a word because I just didn't know how to. I would also get a red embarrassed feeling in my cheeks and just feel really uncomfortable and overwhelmed. I don't think it's social anxiety disorder, because social anxiety involves just being in front of people and a constant anxiety in any social area or crowd, which I don't have. An example of these problems is when sometimes, my dad's gf's daughter comes over, and she'll ask me about my day. She'll say "How was your day? What did you do at school?" I'll say "Good", and not be able to get any other words because something will just stop me. I will also look at maybe her shirt or something behind her, because making eye contact is too overwhelming.
Does anybody else feel overwhelmed talking to other people?
I feel like part of the reason I'm so awkward is because of the overwhelm I feel. But the awkwardness has always been there, even before I began intense overwhelm in social situations, so maybe it's just the way I naturally am. I don't know what this is, but I'm almost certain it isn't normal because everyone else, even if they're shy, still knows how to act appropiately in social situations while I don't. Typically I just stare blankly because I don't know how to use body language or gestures at all. I have tried to improve, but it hasn't improved much. I have also been diagnosed with adhd if that has anything to do with it.

I feel the same way that you feel. I feel like this all the time. Hang in there it will get better. I promised you.

[eskielover]

I grew up in a family who had basically no social interactions. I had to sort it out on my own so in many ways I was just like you. Then I got married to a guy who had no interest in social interaction. All my life had been controlled by those around me who were awkward with socisl interaction & basically had very minimal experience. In other words i had no pne to learn from except for them & the contact I had a few hours at school each day. I had social contact on my own but it was always at a distance because it felt uncomfortable.

Then when I was 54, I brok out of that environment, moved 2100 milesvaway to where I knew no one & started life over. I learned I was quite capable of social interaction & even comfortable. What I also learned through therapy & research that both my Dad's behaviors & my H's were perfectky described by ASD which no one even knew about until I was in my 40's.

It is important to get the diagnosis so that you & the people arlund you KNOW what they are dealung with & can get help to live & deal the best possible ways they can with the behaviors that otherwise end up totally not understood & then bad feelings can grow rather than understanding & care.

I have been able to break free from what I lived with for 54 years of my life but not knowing what I was dealing with led to anger & bad feelings before I came to the knowledge that helped me with my understanding.

With a diagnosis you might get help with the social interaction but more importantly you will understand why you have the struggle in the first place & can grow from there to help you fulfill your pitential to your greatest abiluty.