Woah, really?

A woman I've only known through a social network for under a year and haven't really talked with much lately said that she wants to come see me, a 9 hour drive, because "you look sexy in your posts." She's in a very failed marriage and apparently very lonely and very desirous. I never thought about being attracted to her before, but she is attractive. I probed further and she is definitely interested in me. I don't know how to take this. I'll do it if she drives all that way, but I don't think I should. It's very flattering to think that anyone wants me in any way that badly. She isn't divorced yet. He's been abusive and neglectful to her for quite a few, 6 or more, long years and she's finally tired of it. He's also been a cheater, multiple times. If it's only for sex, cool, but I don't think I want more than that. I feel dirty. I don't feel in the least like I shouldn't or won't but know I probably shouldn't. What does this say about me? Have I lost respect for marriage because mine failed? Does this make me a toy? Or a slut? Or a nihilist? Am I disconnected to what I should feel and do? It was almost exactly a year ago that I threw my wedding ring away in the hospital when I was then certain it had to end. Is this because I still have anger? Am I just horny? I had an f-buddy but that's kind of going away because she wants real involvement and I don't. I know there's all kinds of wrong going on in me. I'll talk to my therapist tomorrow at the appointment, but would greatly appreciate any input.

First thought: on the rebound? What are the rules of thumb regarding relationships formed on the rebound?

Rebounds don't last. I think this is a loneliness and horny thing. I'm not on the rebound. I have firmly been rejected so much that I've decided I'll stay single because I don't want to look at anyone every day. There isn't anyone I can trust that deeply. I also don't think I'm worthy of a good relationship.
The relationship isn't a thing for her. She's not interested in that. It's sex she's after. Long distance doesn't last either.
I suppose the more precise question is:
do I want to be somebody's piece/side piece/slut?
I know I'll do it but, should I want to?

I cannot say whether you should want to or not. I suppose the question is, if it's mainly just for sex, how will you feel about it after she leaves? Will you feel satisfied, content and happy that you did it, or guilty and bad about it? Maybe it's hard to know how you will feel unless you do it. There's nothing wrong with hooking up just for sex, intimacy and comfort, which is what I am guessing this woman needs and wants. It's a matter of how you are going to feel about it afterwards and how you're going to feel about yourself. You mentioned the word dirty. Will you feel dirty for doing this?

The question should you want to is subjective. There is nothing wrong with wanting to in my opinion. In your shoes I would do it. Sex is great and life is short. Is that right or wrong? Its neither. Its just how I feel.

I don't think it's necessarely wrong as long as BOTH of you acknowledge is just for sex.

Yes I will feel dirty, but I rather enjoy that feeling. My f-buddy and I were, hopefully still are, very dirty. We had sex in semi-public places and outright public places and it was very risky to have done them. The cops could have easily been involved had we gotten caught. It felt amazing and dirty. Dirty is fun!
My f-buddy wants more now, says she always did and used sex to get closer to me. Backwards of hope relationships should start, I know, but almost worked. I don't want this other woman to do the same.
I feel like I shouldn't, but I know I will. Have I lost control?

Why do you feel like you shouldn't? What's bothering you specifically?

The marriage isn't "over" in that she hasn't begun the filling process. That's the only bother. My ex, whom I was married to for 19 years, wasn't finalized for many months after we started dating the first time. My girlfriend before her, broke up with her boyfriend with a note while holding my hand. Both of them made me miserable. I don't want that again.

I think I want to respect relationships, I just don't right now

I see. That's a tough call. At the end of the day if it makes you feel bad, don't do it. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting to though.

Indecisiveness feels worse than guilt to me.

I think I have met you outside of PC last year, sadgirl, and I have an idea of whom you are. Based on my posts, especially in this thread, is that likely? Doesn't matter either way if you are La.....

Interesting. I'm not La..... Anything. Lol.

Gotcha. Your writing style is nearly hers and the way she also speaks

That's neat. Unless you hate her. Lol.

She's actually an amazing young lady

I'll take it as a compliment then! No back to you. I am very open minded when it comes to sex and relationships. I really think you just need to do what will make you happy.

Relationships don't make me happy. Certainly haven't so far.
I do think that some of this plays in with my bipolar one diagnosis. Hypersexual behaviours are usually a sign of a problem. But, I've always been that way. This woman brought that to the table, not me.

I'm bipolar 1 as well and have a crazy high sex drive all the time. For me it doesn't signal a problem. I understand your concern though.

My drive is full goose bozo in any state of manic, depressed, hypo, any other mix of it.

Do you feel like anything else is off?

Yeah. Definitely. Mixed, but primarily depressed mood. Exercise and yoga as often as possible so I can keep some of it at bay. I'm on meds and keeping regular therapist appointments. I'll see my t again tomorrow. Buddhist meditation tonight, for the first time. I want to be part of something I enjoy, but I'm not part of anything but I'm still part of it all anyway. I need a hobby other that killing it at the gym. Not going today at all, for the first day since Thanksgiving, because I'm helping my parents. Ugh

I'm sorry you're in a tough spot, but glad to hear you are really taking care of yourself. That is so hard to do when you aren't feeling well. I'm actually a little in awe of everything you are doing. When I'm not doing well I can't seem to manage any of that. So I think you're pretty awesome.

Someone thinks I'm awesome?! Aww! So sweet I wanna squish you in a hug. A yoga instructor tells me that too, but in fairness she tells everyone in class as well. She went through a lot this year too.
I exercise like mad because it helps me maintain. I'm very much addicted to it. In withdrawals right now. Can't stop thinking about how good it's gonna feel when I go again, even though I'm in some fairly rough physical pain.

I get that. I pole dance for the same reason. Great exercise and I feel awesome when I'm done. We all have to have something.