Should I be worried?

I can relate to ruminating and having thougts triggered that are disproportionate to the thing that was actually said.

Thanks for the emotional support. It really helps to have even just knowing that’s there. Should I beat myself up for the drama in my back story? Were my bad choices so off that it’s apparent I really have a disorder? Couldn’t it be I was just a ditzy young woman? I don’t mind judgment and criticism. Maybe I ask to get beaten up for being such a slut. Maybe I’m being masochistic. Was I crazy or stupid or both?

I’m ok. My apologies for going off.

Having the first emotional attack for the new year.

H can’t satisfy. Doesn’t do what I like and need. Intimacy, sexual nightmare. I cope.

Don’t think I wasn’t tempted to write the ex and rev him up again. Only for a split second.

Do nothing.

My whole body aches, arthritis, can’t hardly even type.

I’’m ok.

You were in your youth, inexperienced, pumped with hormones and throwing caution into the wind. And you wanted to get away from your mother like I did (?) A disorder or your genetics/personality? (slutty sounds like disproportionate guilt and worry )--you do ruminate a lot.....

I sabotaged myself from having the creative career I really wanted to have. I hate how I used men to take care of me. Why was I at the mercy of these bozos at all? I could have been soooooo much better than that.

My mother wanted to control me, and I let her. Then I was desperate to break away from her.

If only the relationship was fulfilling, i’d Be content and grateful. Instead, I’m miserable.

But, I only kid myself I’d have gone far in the arts. If it were based on talent and dedication, I’d have soared. But since everything is a dance involving people, I’d have crashed and burned. Who am I kidding?

And here goes the torture foreplay with my h. My mood is tied to sex.

This is my never-ending, broken record rant. It’s sick. I know. I’m going to let it go.

I’ll go try to meditate. Ohm.........

Perhaps if your mood swings the other way the torture foreplay will feel pretty good -- all over the country people are doing this in the name of keeping warm.

That seems a rather defensive answer. I'm just trying to be helpful and supportive here.

The question you asked was so vague, I had to ask your motivation. If you really want to be helpful and supportive, I welcome it.