[TishaBuv]

Very, long story short; I have an ex who made contact with me again after a brief LD, emotional affair, during my marriage separation. It ended with a call to the police because he wouldn’t let go and was harassing me by text. Plus, it was the second time police were called in for the same thing, a brief engagement I broke off, 25 years prior. No contact in between then and now.

The saga is even worse if I went on.

These few dysfunctional relationships I have are the reason for suspicion of my diagnoses.

Anyway- I don’t want to respond to his text. I was nice, by texting back a Happy Holidays to him in response to his to me. Now he asks if I am alright. I don’t want to open that door.

I am worried about him, his mental state of mind. He has reason to hate me. I broke up with him and ‘ruined his life’.

My h knows all about everything up until he just now texted and I responded one year later after police were called to stop him from stalking.

My bff says, “Stalking is a young man’s game”. . So, I do not think he will come to my house and kill me because he lives in another state, I think.

If I don’t respond to his text, which is what I want to do, should I worry that he will become irate?

Not sure what to do here.

IMO your thought that responding the question, "Are you alright?" WOULD be opening up to him. He doesn't need to know. I don't know if it would make him mad but continuing to talk to him will definitely have the greater likelihood of sparking an emotional response...

IMO it was OK to say Happy Holidays. When we walked yesterday--everyone was doing this--it was a holiday with all the good cheer involved....

Hopefully, you are just over worrying about this. Maybe he was just bored and alone....

[divine1966]

It irritates me to no end when not responding to others texts means “they aren’t ok”. I knew one woman who I wanted to separate from. I tried to spend as little time as possible. Ever time and didn’t respond she asked me if I am depressed. I’ve never been depressed in my life. I just didn’t want to gang out with annoying people. Don’t respond to him. What I wonder though why isn’t he blocked? If I had to call police on people, I sure block them

Based on the info given, I would change my phone number. Engaging with him at all sounds unhealthy for you and him.

Yes, block him and do not respond. You've already had to call the police on him a year before. I am sure he has not learned and will probably start harassing you again. I had one guy do this to me year after year, even after threatening a restraining order.

[TishaBuv]

I can’t hide. I’m in a public business and am easy to find.

It was really two years ago the shyt hit the fan w him and the police were called by my h talk about drama.

I’m not going to respond because he’ll never stop writing back and eventually I’ll have to make him back off. If he surfaces again in my life, even the mention of him, my h will explode.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by divine1966

It irritates me to no end when not responding to others texts means “they aren’t ok”. I knew one woman who I wanted to separate from. I tried to spend as little time as possible. Ever time and didn’t respond she asked me if I am depressed. I’ve never been depressed in my life. I just didn’t want to gang out with annoying people. Don’t respond to him. What I wonder though why isn’t he blocked? If I had to call police on people, I sure block them

He ‘liked’ my business page. He follows me there and gives ‘likes’ to my posts now. It’s creepy.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He ‘liked’ my business page. He follows me there and gives ‘likes’ to my posts now. It’s creepy.

I'm pretty sure you can block someone on a page. They can still look at it, but they can't comment or like it.

Seesaw

[TishaBuv]

Thanks. I should have blocked him there two years ago, but I didn’t know you could.

I feel like sabotaging myself by withdrawing from even posting on my stupid business page. I get very little response from it anyway.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He ‘liked’ my business page. He follows me there and gives ‘likes’ to my posts now. It’s creepy.

I understand. But you said he texted you and you are debating if you should respond. If it creeps you out that he likes your posts on a business page, why does he have access to your personal phone so he can text you? If he gets your phone number from a business site, you can still block his ability to text you.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I feel like sabotaging myself by withdrawing from even posting on my stupid business page. I get very little response from it anyway.

I know this feeling. When I was stalked and harassed by an ex over email, everyone told me to change my email account. I refused, however, because it is a Gmail account which is connected to my Google Plus business page, and if I got rid of that account, so would my business G+ page which I need for work. I had spent time building up that page and all my business connections.

Don't give into the temptation to not post on your business page because of him. Then he wins and you lose, and he has power over you.

See if you can block him there or remove him from being able to like, comment or access that page.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I understand. But you said he texted you and you are debating if you should respond. If it creeps you out that he likes your posts on a business page, why does he have access to your personal phone so he can text you? If he gets your phone number from a business site, you can still block his ability to text you.

He messaged me through Messenger.

If I block him, will he know he was blocked? I don’t want to anger him.

Not to answer for Divine, but if it's Facebook messenger, he will know he is blocked. Perhaps you should tell him to stop contacting you, then block him everywhere, then if he continues, take the next step and call the police again for harassment. You cannot control whether he gets angry or not. This person has the tendency to stalk and harass, and it seems it is starting to happen all over again.. the beginnings of it.

[TishaBuv]

I’m tempted to tell him I have an emotional disorder and that is why I fell in to a brief relationship with him that I couldn’t sustain, not once, but twice. I’d tell him that hoping he would just think of me as a friend, now as a former friend, who is married, and leave me alone, not be mad.

Maybe I’m being more nervous and worried than warranted.

All he said was, ‘are you ok?’ Right away, I jump to the thought he is coming to kill me.

He’s not. He’d have already done so. I’m a scared little rabbit.

It is natural to feel scared of someone who has stalked and harassed you in the past. It is easy to allow our imaginations to run wild.

My suggestion is to NOT ENGAGE with him in any way. This will only fuel more conversation and contact from him. I also suggest simply stating, "please do not contact me anymore. It is not healthy for me." Or something along those lines. Then block him.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I know this feeling. When I was stalked and harassed by an ex over email, everyone told me to change my email account. I refused, however, because it is a Gmail account which is connected to my Google Plus business page, and if I got rid of that account, so would my business G+ page which I need for work. I had spent time building up that page and all my business connections.

Don't give into the temptation to not post on your business page because of him. Then he wins and you lose, and he has power over you.

See if you can block him there or remove him from being able to like, comment or access that page.

I sabotage myself, when I start to get successful, ‘cause I don’t wanna be successful.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I sabotage myself, when I start to get successful, ‘cause I don’t wanna be successful.

Why don't you want to be successful?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

It is natural to feel scared of someone who has stalked and harassed you in the past. It is easy to allow our imaginations to run wild.

My suggestion is to NOT ENGAGE with him in any way. This will only fuel more conversation and contact from him. I also suggest simply stating, "please do not contact me anymore. It is not healthy for me." Or something along those lines. Then block him.

Thanks. I’ll do that if he texts again.

He’s said things to me that give me reason to worry. He isn’t a well guy.

[TishaBuv]

It’s also disheartening that this is the only business I get online!

Yes, he must be unwell since he stalks and harasses. All the more reason to cut off all contact.

I'm still curious why you don't want to be successful? If it's all you've got, this business, why wouldn't you want it to succeed? Do you not believe in yourself? Do you think you don't deserve success and happiness so you self sabotage? I have no idea, just asking questions...

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

He messaged me through Messenger.

If I block him, will he know he was blocked? I don’t want to anger him.

So he didn’t text you then? Your business website has a messenger? Or is it Facebook? I am pretty sure he can be blocked on Facebook. Most certainly responding to him by telling him you have a mental disorder is not a good idea. Just disengage from him completely. No contact

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Yes, he must be unwell since he stalks and harasses. All the more reason to cut off all contact.

I'm still curious why you don't want to be successful? If it's all you've got, this business, why wouldn't you want it to succeed? Do you not believe in yourself? Do you think you don't deserve success and happiness so you self sabotage? I have no idea, just asking questions...

Because I’m a Codependent?
Because I’m lazy?, manipulative of others?, worried I’ll screw up?, not motivated?

That’s a HUGE question. I’d be a different person, if I wasn’t like I am this way. BPD?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by divine1966

So he didn’t text you then? Your business website has a messenger? Or is it Facebook? I am pretty sure he can be blocked on Facebook. Most certainly responding to him by telling him you have a mental disorder is not a good idea. Just disengage from him completely. No contact

I’m just ignoring the text. Hopefully, he’ll give up.

[TishaBuv]

I am minimizing and controlling the drama.

Thanks for helping, guys.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Because I’m a Codependent?
Because I’m lazy?, manipulative of others?, worried I’ll screw up?, not motivated?

That’s a HUGE question. I’d be a different person, if I wasn’t like I am this way. BPD?

Subconsciously want to be dependent on your husband so you never have to face possibility of being on your own? When things were bad between you two you said you can never be on your own? Being successful would mean you can survive on your own.