[sky457]

My ex girlfriend has been calling me for about 2 years. I finally picked up the phone and talked to her for about 20 minutes. I knew it was a mistake. She tried to keep me on the phone for as long as possible. I tried avoiding talking to her about my feelings.

She has bipolar disorder amongst a few other things. She has had many hospital stays.

She wants to be friends but may be using it as a cover for getting back together. I told her that I couldn't do it at the moment because I needed to process my thoughts about her and that I wasn't in a stable place She wanted to know why...and I told her: "because you hurt me." She also announced on facebook that I had cheated on her with her paranoia. I have never cheated on anyone in my life.

Our relationship was a roller coaster. I loved her, but she did a lot of harm to me. We started as long distance and she told me that she kissed 2 guys at bars the first month we had been dating. I let it go because I was friends with her for a while and that we were official long distance. She then hooked up with a guy at a pscyh ward which she told me that she did because she thought I cheated on her. This was near the end of our relationship and we ended things a month after.

She asked me if I was seeing anyone. I mentioned yes, but no girlfriends since we split up. She then went into detail about her seeing someone and mentioned another person I knew that she considered dating but didn't because he knew me. She said that on dates he kept asking her about me. Right after she started mentioning this, I told her that I needed to go and then ended the phone call.

I feel like I got hit by the same pain I went through 2 years ago by speaking with her. I still don't know if she realizes what she did to me.

[Squaw]

I understand what you must be feeling..I myself have been hurt by a man I had been with for about 2 years. He doesn't understand why I can't just forget the pain he has caused me that hurt me so much. People sometimes don't fully know the damage they can cause a person that truly loves them. I would never hurt anyone, intentionally, and wasn't strong enough like you have been, not to answer when he calls sometimes...May you find peace with this situation soon.

[seesaw]

Sorry that this will be so blunt. BLOCK HER NUMBER.

I don't know that bipolar has anything to do with it, but if she's been calling you for two years, then it's because she's fixated on you. She cheated on you, and she's accusing you of cheating on her, and this was two years ago?! Why does it matter? It's over. You don't want to get back together with her. And as you see, talking to her only causes you more pain.

Block her number entirely. Block her on all social media. Don't allow her access into your life. My worry is that because you've given her a little reward for all her efforts (picking up the phone) she will now double her efforts to get back in your life. You don't need that. It was an unhealthy relationship. Block her out of your life and move on.

Good luck. Sorry to be blunt. But you sound so hurt in your post; I don't want you to enable her to hurt you again.

Seesaw

[sky457]

It takes me a really long time to process things....especially when it includes trauma. I’m really weak when it comes to protecting myself from things like this.

[hvert]

I think you were strong to not pick up the phone for two years! That conversation sounds very painful.