[Dubb123]

Hey guys,

I'm new here and I'm in need of some support and encouragement. I have had depression since 2011 and I was reading different self help topics last year on depression and happened to read a lot about bipolar disorder too. I went to my psychiatrist and told her that I thought I had bipolar disorder and she reviewed my symptoms with me and put me on am antipsychotic. I faithfully take my medication and I have made so much progress within the past year. However, my husband and I had an argument in September of 2017 and he has given me the silent treatment ever since. He has slept in his man cave for 4 consecutive months without speaking to my daughter and I. His 16 year old daughter would come over every other week for a week at a time and he would speak to her but Ignore us. Well, he came to the conclusion that it would be best for him to move out of our home. So he moved 90% of his things out and last night he decided that he was going to stay here and not move out. He told me that his daughter wasn't going to come over anymore and he was done with being a father. He said he has had to bite his tongue for the last 4 years because his daughter was here and now that she's not returning he's going to treat me how he has always wanted to treat me when I was being impulsive, saying hurtful things, etc. So last night he went off on me and called me multiple curse words, said that I'm not depressed and that I am only rude with him. If you ask me, I would say he's the one acting psychotic here. He asked me to make him a roast and make dinner this weekend, all while calling me out of my name. Now he said he isn't leaving and I believe that he's trying to provoke me. I am here to say I don't have the energy or desire to fight and argue. I have said a lot and I do mean a lot of hurtful things in the past but my medication has really worked over the past year. If this were to occur prior to my new medication regimen I'd go toe to toe and argue with him, but I don't want to do that now. He is acting like a complete stranger and displaying behaviors that I have never thought I would see. When asking him why he was treating me like that he basically summed it up to this...........it's payback for my behavior the past 4 years. So because I have said mean and hurtful things in the past to him he's seeking revenge. I am not mentally strong enough to handle this. I want him gone. We rent from my parents and last night I told my mom over the phone that he decided he was going to stay here and not go anywhere and she said the heck with that, put him out. But I can't put him out, it isn't that easy. I was thinking about having my dad change the locks Wednesday but I'm not so sure what he would do if I done that.....again he has about 5 pairs of pants / jeans here and maybe 10 pairs of shoes. What I was planning on doing was packing up his clothes while he's at work and taking them to his mom's house. When he arrives here with the locks changed he would obviously not be able 2 get in and really wouldn't have a reason to want to get in the house. I struggle daily with mental illness but again I'm compliant with My medication and open and honest with my psychiatrist about my symptoms. My husband is in denial of mental illness unless you are straight psychotic hallucinating and basically responding to internal stimuli. Over the past year I have tried to explain that the severity of my bipolar isn't that extreme and the severity varies with individuals - like you can have stage 4 cancer or stage 1, it all just varies. Well, he thinks I'm making my whole disorder up and he's out for vengeance. Any advice is welcome.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. An episode of bipolar can have a major impact on our relationships. There is a lot that your husband is still processing. He's obviously just not going through it the right way.

Has he ever been with you to see your psychiatrist? How knowledgeable and clued up is he? Doesn't sound like he understands / knows much about episodes.

I'd suggest couples counselling before you do anything major.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Dubb: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I don't know as there is a lot I could suggest with regard to your concerns. The obvious suggestion here would be for the two of you to enter into some couples counseling. However, from what you wrote, it sounds like your husband would be unlikely to agree to anything such as that. I don't recall if you mentioned anything with regard to seeing a therapist yourself. If you're not, that would probably be a worthwhile effort.

I don't know if any of this will be of any help. But here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of how to deal with toxic people:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/11-thin...-toxic-people/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...eed-to-escape/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...amily-members/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...-toxic-people/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

P.S. Should your circumstances continue to go badly, the other resource you may want to be aware of is the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline ? The Hotline

1 (800) 799-7233

I wish you well...

[Misssy2]

If he is smart enough (which I don't know if he is)...he will know that you can not change the locks on the doors. When I wanted my boyfriend out..not even husband..the police told me that if I changed the locks...my b/f could take me to court to gain entry..

The courts look at it like if this is his dwelling place with his personal belongings you can not by law change the locks and you have to go thru the eviction process.

you say you CAN NOT do this....You FEEL like you can not do this..but you can do it.
I did it..

there is a downloadable form on line for the eviction process...you have to put it in US mail so you obtain proof by a post mark that he recieved it...I took a picture of my notice prior to putting in mailbox (while I was at mailbox with picture of mailbox)...and I looked for it in the mail and made sure I handed it to him.

My boyfriend refused to open it saying that he would tell a judge he didn't see it.

I said to him..cause I read alot about...it that even if he didn't read it...if I had proof it was received at his address (by US Mail) then the eviction process begins...from the date that it is postmarked.

This is a daunting process....your hope could be he gets the eviction notice and plans to leave...earlier than the date...because the way it works..is if he refuses to leave..you have to file a petition with the court to have a hearing with the judge..which can be pushed out further..and then from that hearing...the judge will order him out...but gives him another 30 days to get out.

Another alternative..which I eventually DID do because my b/f told me he was going to ride it out until the court date...(essentially making me go back to the courthouse to GET a courtdate) and you can't go back to the courthouse until the 30 days has passed from the eviction notice.

So the other alternative I used was a "restraining" order...hours after I got the restraining order..the police came to my house and removed him.

I had grounds for a restraining order...they have to be...either fear of your life...emotional and physical abuse you go to the courthouse for the restraining order as well..and they have you write down your reasons you want one.

My boyfriend had knocked the phone out of my hand when we had an argument about him moving and I said I was calling 911...he withheld my phone from me..and I stayed in the basement that night until he went to work..(there are rooms down there)...and the first thing I did in the a.m. was went and got the restraining order..he was gone the next day.

None of this is easy..in fact it is very draining...but I did this 7 months ago...and it was the best thing I did for myself ...even thou it is a good thing thou...I still feel the pain of missing him and what we "could" have been...but the fact is..our relationship was badly damaged..and it was NOT going to get better..just like yours is not going to get better.