I think I fell in love with my Therapist

Hello,

I am feeling disturbed and weird, I think I am in love with my Psychologist.
I see him since November and I get along with him very well, he is curious and concerned and very empathic with me.
I didn't expect to get along so well, or to meet somebody who understands me so well, he is just out of this world in terms of kindness and niceness.
What is weird is that I don't find him incredibly good looking opposed to the other guys I used to date who are tall, good looking and black or mixed. He is the complete opposite and must be 15 years older than me.

I just feel like hugging him, making love with him and spend lost of time with him.

I haven't feel that kind of attraction for ages.

Today I told him about it, and he said that I was very attractive so I am pretty sure he feels the same, and he said we will work on this together as I did not come here for that. I answered no.When I left I felt like a 3 years old, intimidated and red-faced and with a deep wants to cry but I did not, but my heart is a bit blue right now.

The thing is we can't, and I don't know if its ok to feel this.

I just keep thinking about him, my heart is warm and I can't wait for our next session, I just want to be with him so bad.

My god what can I do? Please help

PS: what is crazy is that at work and in everyday life I attract lots of guys, I just don't want them, I am just focused and completely into my Psychologist.

Have you checked on psychotherapy forum? I saw some people share experience of having feelings for therapists and trying to pursue it. It never ends well. I recommend you share it in there

This is common. You're opening yourself up, in an intimate way, and realize he knows more about you than anyone else. You're telling him things you wouldn't share elsewhere. You confide in him because you trust him. You trust him because he doesn't judge you. Trust is the first building block of love. What you're feeling is a natural attraction and nothing to be ashamed of.

Addressing these feelings are another issue altogether. Wish I could provide a simple answer.

Thank you, I understand what you mean, and its true with him I am completely open, I told him all my deep secrets and I have only received compassion and advice, he always give me tissue when I cry (lol, I know lots of people would), but he is just amzing and understanding of what I went through. He looked great today too...

Thank you Divine, I will have a look. I have made some reasearch on google and apparently its normal and it happened thats how I found the courage to talk to him about it. The way he answered made me think that he felt the same, we only live once. if he too has feelings, I think we should. I am literally burning for him.

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are. I have loved me t for years.

It becomes an issue when client start pursuing therapist such as stalking or demanding. Some therapists file RO against clients.

I think it is very common to feel the way you do, I have read about it a few times on here (I think there is even a subforum in the therapy section here). It's understandable someone who is giving you undivided attention and listening to you with empathy suddenly feels attractive to you, especially if they are the gender you are attracted to.

He gave you the only response he could, he reassured you were attractive but reminded you that was not the purpose of your therapeutic relationship.

It might be that your attraction to him might reveal some useful things about yourself and could actually help you understand yourself better. In that way, if you can continue with your therapy with him, it could be a positive thing possibly. But if it is too painful maybe you might want to get another T, possibly a woman.

I'm not sure it would be "in love" per say especially after such a short time, but yes its common, as others have said, check out the psychotherapy part of the forum.

its probably love like feelings though, which you can have for all type of awesome people and it is tough but you can't let it interfere, it can become promblecatic and some T's will refer you out

best advice, just tell him, he wont be weirded out, its new, common and expected.

So painful and so common in such an intimate and close relationship. Do. It feel ashamed. Tell your therapist, and if they are qualified, you will get through it.

I’m so sorry, it really hurts.

T’s hear this a lot, he needs to guide you through Therapy to understand that even though you feel for him this way that it’s not a romance returned. T’s can lose there license getting involved with clients.

Some T’s refer clients to a different Therapist if these feelings can’t be worked out.

Good luck

I hope you and him can get past this and focus on therapy you need.

I don't think your feelings are uncommon and hopefully if your psychologist is a good one he can help you work through this.

Hello guys, just wanted to say thank you to you all for your advice and support. Last week I did not feel good about my feeling and thought a lot about it. Today I am all confident and happy.

I am happy that I am able to feel that again for somebody, during a long time I was bored with most people and just wanted to be alone and to "retreat in my cave". Now I am able to see and feel him as a human being, I only see his qualities as I am the one doing the talking even though he gives a lot his opinion too.

He said if I wasn't his patient, he would have loved to try, he kept saying that I was attractive and that he is not surprised that a lot of guys are attracted by me.

Today was our session, I was happy to see him but not as excited as last time, strangely I felt like I had some kind of control over him, I wore a skirt and his eyes were all over me.

I told him I understood why we can't and I am completely comfortable with it, which is true. I have met at least 4 T at least before and I have always ended up stopping seeing them because there was just no connections at all, I think he will be able to help me a lot with his open mindedness, but I hope I will be able to talk to him about other private areas (such as sex and intimacy) and that he will be able to guide me without any jealous feelings.

I feel lighter now :-), thank you all. I can't wait to find the one and to open my heart again for true love.

This isn’t good - he’s dangerously close to crossing into the forbidden. He’s s therapist not an escort service. I know there’s been TV movies where this happened and it seemed okay but the attraction thing will probably end badly. He should be talking to you about seeking another therapist not eyeballing you as a potential lover.

I agree.

If he is eyeing you up as Mac says it is wrong and definitely a sign of a poor therapist. But this does come down to the op's perception.

Wow I find the comparison with the Escort service pretty disrespectful for him and me. I definitely don't think it was the right word to use. Next time maybe you should not give your opinion if it is to be rude.

I think he does find me attractive and is just impressed or flattered that a young woman like me could have an attraction for somebody of his age. Lots of people with a healthy ego and self esteem can feel slightly impressed that somebody they themselves find attractive likes them back.

We are both reasonable and respectful people with ethics and integrity. We agree to not pursue this attraction any further.

Anyway, I will see how things evolve as he is a human being like the rest of us. I felt what I felt last time because I haven't seen him for a whole month from 15 December to 15 January. As the expression said absence makes the heart grows fonder.

I think you’re both in dangerous territory - I don’t know what you expect to happen but this is not therapy anymore. You’re letting your feelings interfere with any rational analysis - I know, we’ve all been there, Sorry about the escort reference - it was a bad choice of words. You need to figure out why you’re going to this therapist - if it’s to have a romantic relationship then you are in the wrong place and he should know that... peace