I Just Talked Him After A Month

I just talked to my husband after a month of not hearing a word from him, and I just feel terrible about my self. He still blames me for him cheating on me and for him going to live with his lover. He told me that he hates me for going through with the divorce instead of trying to work things out with him, and he told me that I'm taking the easy way out of our marriage. I know that he is toxic for me, but I still love him and a part of me feels like maybe he is right about what he said to me. I feel like I don't know if I still want move on from him, or if I should try to work things out. I really need some advice.

He's scum.. he's manipulating you, please dump him as soon as you can.

What a total douche. I agree with manipulation. It is not your fault he cheated and you had a good reason for wanting to leave the marriage. Stay strong, there are better men out there.

If he was taking responsibility for his actions and showing remorse, instead of blaming you for his cheating, then I would agree that trying to make things work and going to counseling first, would be a good idea, instead of calling it quits.

Don’t fall for his tricks, you’re making the right decision, this manipulative, unfaithful jerk doesn’t even deserve to lick the ground you walk on.

Consider no contact with him. Block him on your phone, email, social media.

Agree with everything said above. Din't fall for his manipulation. Takibg respinsibility fir one's choices & behaviors would show a mature person who really wanted the marriage to work not blamibg you for what he did.

I woukd never stay married or kuve with a person who behaved that way. Go ahead with the divorce. Don't waste yiyr money cancellung ut because yiu will regret it & be right back where you are now in a short period of time..

Get the divorce. If he really lives you & wants the marriage, he can PROVE he has changed AFTER yiu are divorced. Lots of people have been remaried after divorce if a change has really taken place. It is good to make yoyr statement that you WILL NOT TOLERATE that behavior from him & folliw through don't just use it as a threat

Is he trying to make you the scapegoat for some reason? What’s his motivation? Trying to get you to give up the assets?

Most states are either 50/50 division of assets or equitable. Either case all divorces are NO FAULT unless abuse & police wete involved.

Total douchebag move on his part. He doesn’t deserve you at all.

Be strong !

He is definitely trying to manipulate you. I had an ex like that who tried to blame me for his own behavior. Seeing him do that made it clear to me that I needed to move on.

It's good you are honest about how you feel. What do you feel he is right about what he said to you? Sometimes it helps me to make competing lists to try to work things out and make a decision: the 'pros and cons'... like why you should try to work things out vs. why you shouldn't try.

What is it that you love about him?

I'm not suggesting you doubt yourself, only that exploring all the facets in your mind for a little while might be helpful.

Divorce is really tough to go through but opens up a world of better possibilities down the road.

It's helpful to ask what is the motivation of the ex in saying such hurtful things. My guess is he is trying to prevent the divorce altogether.

I'm so glad the state is not adjudicating failed marriages unless there is criminal activity.

First, I want to thank everyone that replied to me. I've decided that I'm no longer going to be indecisive on weather or not if I'm going to file for divorce . I'm going to see a lawyer and I'm going to divorce him and I'm not going to have any contact with him.

Good to hear....sounds like a VERY WISE decision.