How to ask an older lady out without sounding creepy?

Hi all,

I'm currently smitten with my local area Councillor who I know for a fact is single.

I desperately want to ask her out on a date but not entirely sure how to go about this without it coming across as 'creepy'?

I've emailed her about meeting up (to chat about local area concerns etc) and we're scheduled to meet at the end of this month. She is 45yrs old and I'm 30.

I do feel that she may take me up on the offer of a drink based on how her punctuation was written on the emails we sent to arrange an appointment.

Can you advise please?

Thanks very much for your help.

Just ask her out like you would ask anybody out? o.o The age difference should not matter at all. I hope you guys have a good meeting!

Thanks for your advise there. :-)

Would you suggest asking her out on the day of the meeting or should I wait a couple of days after then send her a polite email?

Totally rubbish with this kind of stuff!!

I think you can ask her out withouth problems. The age gap isn't even that big.. good luck

Thanks MC.

For example would you say I'm better to ask her for a coffee on the day that we meet for our appointment or via email a little later on?

I'm just terrified that she'll view me as a pervert and contact the cops. Why I have that thought I've no idea. Totally irrational thoughts I know.....deep down.

She won't view you as a pervert. You're not doing anything perverted. I say ask her for coffee rather than an email. It just more confident and fun. Good luck.

I will do and thanks for your excellent advice there! :-)

One thing though, do you think I should ask her for the coffee at the end of the meeting as in saying something like "Would you like to meet me for a coffee sometime?"

Do you think she would 'get' that I mean that as in a non-business like format?

I think it would be better if you meet with this woman for coffee casually at first. I am going to disagree with other posters in that if I was 45 and single I might be taken back a bit if a 30 year old approached me right off the bat asking me to date him. I would not think he's crazy or anything but I would probably consider the age difference. However, if I met him for coffee casually and got to know him I may be able to see "him" first on a social level and then have a chance to think about it in a different way.
Ofcourse, that's just me and how I would feel about it.

Yes and by that it will be a casual affair and one that shall decide if we feel a connection and want to perhaps go on a date or another coffee meet depending on how it went.





I am trying to understand that from your point of view when you say that you may be taken aback if someone my age approached someone a bit older than me. Yes, I can sort of see what you mean but I wouldn't straight away go all guns blazing saying I wanted to date her, I'd want her to know that I liked her and wanted to see where it went...just casually.

Tell her she’s beautiful then mention some of the qualities you like about her - it’s not creepy because you’re both adults. The age gap isn’t that huge. Just treat her with respect and you should be okay. Good luck!!!

Thanks very much once again for taking the time to reply. Good advice as ever and I'll be sure to update here on what happens.

Some people have predispositions about whether they will date at all, and if they will go on a date, what age range they would consider. I would try to find out more about her before asking her on a date. Meeting for coffee casually so you both get to know each other sounds like a plan.

The coffee idea sounds like the best course of action. The outcome could depend on her own life circumstances. I've known women that have dated younger. There's really no taboo anymore.

To me (as far as the age range), I guess that it would all be in the perspective of what you want your end result to be.

I am due to meet with her this coming Friday everyone and for those who asked, I will update on how it goes.

We are meeting for a coffee.