Your definition of LOVE

When my children were born, the moment they were handed to me, I looked into their faces and felt this hot rush of love wash over me. It was this overwhelming bonding emotion that this tiny person was mine, and I would care for them always. No matter who they are, no matter what they do, I would die to protect them. That feeling has never lessened.

When I met a man that I grew to love, I was unsure if I would even see them again. Falling in love was a gradual wait and see emotion. You look at how they act, who they are, what they do. Love either grows or dies. Sadly, this feeling also never lessened.

With my family, it was a feeling of I am a part of this group. It’s a feeling of unconditionally belonging to a degree. If we cease to get along, I know we can not speak to each other ever again. So, that love is also conditional upon actions. Also sadly, my mother has disowned and ceased speaking to me on many occasions because she didn’t get her way. She started this once I turned 18. I’ll never do this to my kids.

I was taught at a very young at that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I wish I could love that way and be loved that way but I do fall short of the ideal too many times. Lately, I spend a lot of time wondering whether I love in order to meet my own needs rather than putting others first. For example, when we do too much for another person or are afraid to tell them how we really feel, is that unloving? I would like to think that I could let people go if I thought it would be for the best--sometimes I truly can't decide if the people I love would be better off with or without me. Of course the reason they would be better of without is based on past wrongs which I really can't be undone. Some the good and the wrongs we do last past our current life. We all make a difference for better or worse (likely both).

I’ve been giving this topic thought recently too.
I could write down what love means to me, but that in itself does not define love.
I do not claim ownership of love, that I can give it or take it away as I please, but I can misuse it, misrepresent it, or deny it completely.
I can put conditions on it...
Or I can not mess with it at all and let it do it’s thing, like endow me with compassion, kindness, humility and the rest of loves beneficial symptoms.
It’s best for me not to define love for it is not for me to define.

I define love as,

"An act or desire to help people through their struggle and problems. Wishing that they'll not give up in the struggle for existence, and that they will get what they truly deserve."

(I usually love good people, and in my opinion, they deserve good outcomes in life.)

love is when someone cares for you, and I mean truly cares for you.

example: someone saying I'm glad you are alive, and actually mean it, not just say it to make you feel better

also someone who constantly wants the best for you and wants you to be happy, even if what you think is the best way forward actually isn't

someone who thinks about you when you're not around

someone who would stay by your side, even if you're unwell