Employee attraction

So some of you have read my story about my most recent relationship. Now I am faced with a new employee that is at her 90 day mark which means she will now be a permanent employee. She has been to my house to clean and of course I paid her. I mentioned one day in a group of people about possibly getting a roomate as the house I lease is way too big for me. I have two bedrooms and a full bath upstairs that is totally useless to me.

Only thing, sometimes there are texts exchanged and some are flirty. Concerns me her being a roomate and an employee as well as becoming flirty through text. While at work it is business, after that if there are any exchanges which has only been maybe two times, kind of flirty.

So I wonder if there would be any ethical boundaries being crossed if I were to allow her to be a roomate......I already know there would be more to it than just roommates. At least my perception tells me so. She is a direct employee of mine, I am her decision maker as far as what she does and doesn’t do, her pay scale and such.

I don’t know.....throwing it out there see what type feedback I receive. Thanks guys.....this site is addictive already, i need to be in the bed but am enjoying reading a lot of the threads as I can relate to so much. Anyway, feedback welcome. Goodnight all!

I absolutely wouldn’t invite an employee to be a roommate and certainly wouldn’t do so thinking “there would be more to it”.

I also would refrain from flirty texts.

I especially would refrain from doing so if she is in fact your employee not just a coworker. If you are a person who is setting up her salart then she is your subordinate. Being in such relationship with subordinate falls into abuse of power and potentially sexual harassment.

So my answer is a definite NO

Yea...... that’s sort of the line of thinking I was going with. Sometimes my thinking and perceptions can get distorted so I will throw something out just for an outside thought or opinion. Thanks!

There's an old saying I think holds true: "Don't mess where you eat."

if it were a peer to peer situation, in some rare cases, it may be acceptable but the part that makes this in my mind, completely a situation to avoid without question is that you decide her pay scale give her direction and she is your subordinate. That's where it really is an unethical situation.

In fact I'd go so far as to say that the flirty texts with her need to stop.

Are you her boss? Yes, there are ethical boundaries you need to maintain (by not dating her or being flirty with her). Even if just a coworker, if things didn't turn out well, it would probably get really awkward for her, or you, at work, and I'd say no to that too. But as someone's supervisor? No way. Sounds like you're already getting some good advice here and taking it. Thumbs up!!

Absolutely getting good advice. Since I initially posted this I have made the decision the roomate deal will not happen. I will allow her to come clean every so often, other than that.... strictly employee/employer relationship. Another thing, I am about 16 years older than this girl and why she would be sending texts in flirting manner is beyond me.

Anyway, I appreciate everyones insight. I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea at the same time I still like to run things by others just to see how they see it from the outside and for a different perspective. Thanks!

I think you're doing the right thing. She might be flirting with you to try to get a raise or promotion or something.

Why are you allowing her to clean for you?

Why am I allowing her to clean my house? Well.......one, before we hired her that is what she was doing is cleaning houses. I dont trust just anyone to come into my home and clean. I am not certain what sort of answer you are soliciting however I see nothing wrong with an employee coming to house clean every so often. I am a fairly tidy man and really dont need my house to be cleaned but perhaps once a month. I see nothing wrong with her cleaning my house.

There is nothing wrong with getting someone to clean your house but it could get tricky if you are inviting a coworker or a subordinate to clean your house. I cleaned people’s houses when I was in college but if my current boss thought to ask me to clean her house because that’s what I used to do it would be wildly inappropriate.

It’s especially questionable if you have romantic inclinations for her and wanted something more from her as you mentioned earlier

The whole arrangement might back fire. I’d look for outside agency to find me a cleaner, wouldn’t ask my subordinate

Sorry, but I see a LOT wrong with it. This whole situations stinks of “quid pro quo.” This is a LAW that protects HER. What if things go badly and she reports you to HR? You could get fired - and more. I would think very carefully about letting her cone to your house alone. Then again, sounds like that is too late. Just hope she doesnt start gossiping and lying.

Agree!

Sounds like you are still trying to create a situation with her. Why would you even consider sharing your house with someone that works for you? What if you had to fire her? What if you became involved with her?
Easy to tell you are attracted to this gal. And you are 16 years older?
You need to put on the brakes in a big way and need to do it ASAP.