Is pushing yourself to date worth it?

Sending you hugs. Making fun of you? What a jerk. I think it’s fine to ask about financial situation not like what someone makes but what they do for a living (if someone looks for long term) and I think it’s ok not to date someone if you find out something on
a first date. But how is it ok to make fun of someone on a date????? Omg. You dodge the bullet here

Eek! I’m sorry he was a jerk. Your intuition was correct. Better luck next time I hope. Dating is so unpredictable but the right people eventually come into your life.

(((((KnitChick)))))

Thank you! I agree with all of this, btw. I mean, dating is a 2 way street and there are things I've had deal breakers with before (I dated a guy in a wheelchair once, and to be honest, that was sort of hard for me). Even if its just how the guy acts. In terms of not having a job / being on disability and dating, it can be a somewhat hard thing. Its one of the reasons why I pull back from dating sometimes. I mean, this is something I cannot help, and I'm being judged for it. Any who, I did say to this particular guy, "if that's a deal breaker with you, I understand." And he said no it wasn't. But we were completely not vibing, and I sort of mentioned that too to him too. lol.

I don't know why I want to mention, but he was a complete hipster type, and seemed really into his image and at the same time, he was not very nice. Made fun of things. He has a dog but made fun of a dead bird we saw on the trail we were walking on. I was disgusted (by his remark). It's like, ok, if it's smaller than a dog, you don't care about it? I held a dying bird in my hands once and it was so sad. Geez. Just different values. It's sort of cool though, because in dating and in life, I've started to become more secure in who I am. And when someone acts like an idiot, regardless of "how cool" they think they are and how "hip" they may look, I don't give a **** if their behavior is off. I can stand back and be like, "well, thanks for the date but I will never be seeing you again."

I go through phases where I date more, and date less. I personally think it's a good idea to focus on my goals of working, right now. Talk about it in therapy, explore my interests, and face my fears. Me working, is not going to be happening super soon. There are steps. But I'm ready to take those steps.

Some other people said it's a good idea to meet others in real life, instead of online dating. I agree. I'm not in a hurry to find a mate, either.

I don’t think it matters where you meet people as you can meet a total jerk in real life and a nice guy online just as well. I don’t see a correlation. Online just opens more possibilities for people, larger dating pool.

If you aren't able to have a job, even part time, would you consider dating someone who is also on disability? Friend’s of mine brother has been on disability for the past 20 years and him and his girlfriend are together for like 15 years. They live together and have a nice life. They are both on disability and do not work. You might have easier time getting along and building a life with someone who is in a similar boat.

Although I do believe that many people judge those who don’t work, it’s not everyone. Many people won’t date someone on disability just because it’s a big adjustment in lifestyle and people simply have their preferences.

If your goal is to work though, then it’s a good goal to focus on. It might open more doors for you. Good luck

I have to disagree that online dating opens more doors. Especially with the free sites, which again, is what I can only afford. It opens more doors to creepy weirdos. It opens more doors to awkward dates. It just hasn't worked for me. I do go back to it at times, but that is my choice and something I don't judge myself for.

I don't know if it's true that many people judge others for not working. That sounds quite defeatist and not hopeful to be honest. I'm a person with feelings and thoughts. And that doesn't feel supportive to me, no matter whose opinion it is. I do know though, that I have felt the stigma for sure.

I feel good with not talking about this anymore. It's over and done with.

I'm a little late to this, but I realized something about some men. They don't want to run out of things to talk about when they meet you in person, so they keep chatting to a minimum. I like corresponding and conversing for a little while first before a meeting, to see if it's even worth the effort of putting on makeup and heading out for the night. There will be some that are open to chatting/texting first until you're comfortable meeting them in person. I think those are worth the wait.

That’s a good point. I always talked on the phone before deciding to meet and often that phone conversation (rude or boring or nothing in common) was the reason I’d not bother going on a first date.

It really seems like you are just taking pot shots at me now. Are you?

Divine, I need you to know that your posts to me in my threads often end up just triggering me. I see that you have a lot of good advice for other posters. But I want you to know this. I don't know what else to say.

considering dates are all about entertaining and being entertained, finding someone to share common ground with and possibly going further with a relationship, if you're not feeling it, don't. forcing yourself to do something that should be entirely optional and fun just doesn't seem very practical nor logical.

If I was the dude on the other end of this I surely would want someone willing and ready to go out on a date with me not someone begrudgingly going out with me because they forced themselves to.