Possible trigger:

fat pig, but last weigh in a few days ago at the dr surgery the dr wasn't worried about my weight

Would the dr have said something if it was a problem? Would the dr have called me a what I said in the trigger warning if it was a problem?

[Aviza]

Doctors won't use such terminology they say things like morbidly obese for example. Yes if there was a problem your doctor would say something. Good luck.

[mote.of.soul]

No, I can't imagine a doctor ever using such phrases whispershadow. Your family members sound quite insensitive and even discriminating unfortunately. It's not right. Sorry you're having to deal with that. Maybe look into ways of dealing with discrimination. Lots of people have to endure that daily as well. Stay strong whispershadow.

The thing is I'm not "fat" according to the dr, family seem to think I am though. Dr wasn't concerned when I saw her.

Possible trigger:

family have drove me to skip meals the past few months since they moved near me simply so I don't end up looking like a elephant

then when I eat they make comments that I'll end up big and fat

there's no way to escape them

and they praise me when I lose weight

I never told them about my mental health issues, they don't believe mental health issues (apart from bipolar and schitzophrenia) exist

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry they're being so rude to you. How is your relationship with them otherwise?

[mote.of.soul]

Yes, I'm sorry they're being so rude to as well, whispershadow. It really does sound like they're trying to control you, manipulate you, make you bend under their influence, and that's not good. Maybe tell them in a peaceful tone, in an assertive tone, not to speak to you in those ways, that it's hurtful and rude? You don't need to mention your MH issues if you don't wish to, but obviously they need to stop doing those things.

My relationship with them is okay otherwise, could be better could be worse, like all families we have ups and downs.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( whispershadow ))))))))

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by whispershadow

Possible trigger:

fat pig, but last weigh in a few days ago at the dr surgery the dr wasn't worried about my weight

Would the dr have said something if it was a problem? Would the dr have called me a what I said in the trigger warning if it was a problem?

I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! I struggle a lot with my weight!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Aviza

Doctors won't use such terminology they say things like morbidly obese for example. Yes if there was a problem your doctor would say something. Good luck.

I agree!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

No, I can't imagine a doctor ever using such phrases whispershadow. Your family members sound quite insensitive and even discriminating unfortunately. It's not right. Sorry you're having to deal with that. Maybe look into ways of dealing with discrimination. Lots of people have to endure that daily as well. Stay strong whispershadow.

I'm sorry that you are struggling right now.I been discrimination against myself!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by whispershadow

The thing is I'm not "fat" according to the dr, family seem to think I am though. Dr wasn't concerned when I saw her.

Possible trigger:

family have drove me to skip meals the past few months since they moved near me simply so I don't end up looking like a elephant

then when I eat they make comments that I'll end up big and fat

there's no way to escape them

and they praise me when I lose weight

I never told them about my mental health issues, they don't believe mental health issues (apart from bipolar and schitzophrenia) exist

I'm sorry! My family treated me this way as well!

[eskielover]

Hmmmm, they moved close to you not "In with you". Why are they interfacing with you at meal times when you have your own place. Maybe you need to enforce meal time boundaries as in meal times are at your place alone & not with them. Maybe an occasional weekend meal together but you need your own space.

Also a boundary of no discussing weight. Why are you talking to them about weight loss or gain anyway.....it is none of their business. You seem to struggle with setting boundaries specifically in this case with your family.

Are you in therapy? Maybe ask your T to help you with this issue.

[nicoleflynn]

That is verbal abuse. I would tell them that when they say that, it is very hurtful; more than likely they will argue (abusers do that), and once you have told them, you can decide to not have a conversation or relationship with them. That is cruel.

Originally Posted by eskielover

Hmmmm, they moved close to you not "In with you". Why are they interfacing with you at meal times when you have your own place. Maybe you need to enforce meal time boundaries as in meal times are at your place alone & not with them. Maybe an occasional weekend meal together but you need your own space.

Also a boundary of no discussing weight. Why are you talking to them about weight loss or gain anyway.....it is none of their business. You seem to struggle with setting boundaries specifically in this case with your family.

Are you in therapy? Maybe ask your T to help you with this issue.

Technically, they own the house I live in and because I'm at work during the week they cook on the days I work so I don't cook when I'm already exhausted from a manual job. I cook for them on weekends, that's the arrangement we have.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by whispershadow

Technically, they own the house I live in and because I'm at work during the week they cook on the days I work so I don't cook when I'm already exhausted from a manual job. I cook for them on weekends, that's the arrangement we have.

Maybe that arrangement really isn't good for you. Is the cost of having them treat you like this worth it or could yiu just get some really simple healthy meals you could just heat up for yourself when you get home from work.

I have to eat after long days working on my farm all day or volunteering long hard days at the horse park. I have found really good quality food I can either heat up in 12 minutes in a fry pan on top of my stove or microwave. I also cook casseroles on the weekend (easy ones) & heat them up for my meals during the week. Honestly if my family was treating me that way I fould figure our a way to fend for myself.

Hmmmmm, they are cooking for you & making what yiu eat throughout the week & they ate commenting about your weight....then they need to rethink what they are cooking. Bottom line.....is it really worth this aggrevation to you?

[Stone92]

Just want to reiterate what Nicole said: this is verbal abuse. And it would be verbal abuse even if you were "overweight". Your family has no right to shame you for your weight or make you skip meals (!). That's incredibly cruel of them, and unhealthy for you.

[eskielover]

they cook on the days I work so I don't cook when I'm already exhausted from a manual job. I cook for them on weekends, that's the arrangement we have.

family have drove me to skip meals the past few months since they moved near me

then when I eat they make comments that I'll end up big and fat

I'm confused here.....how do they MAKE you skip meals when they are the ones cooking for you? If they don't want you to eat or don't want you to eat fatening foods then theyvshouldn't be cooking for you in the first place.

This whole arrangement makes NO sense.

Originally Posted by eskielover

I'm confused here.....how do they MAKE you skip meals when they are the ones cooking for you? If they don't want you to eat or don't want you to eat fatening foods then theyvshouldn't be cooking for you in the first place.

This whole arrangement makes NO sense.

It's the comments they make that trigger me into skipping meals. If I eat breakfast, I don't eat lunch and if I eat breakfast I skip lunch. The meals they cook I eat. idk if this makes more sense now.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by whispershadow

It's the comments they make that trigger me into skipping meals. If I eat breakfast, I don't eat lunch and if I eat breakfast I skip lunch. The meals they cook I eat. idk if this makes more sense now.

Makes sense....thank you for clarifying.

Just so you know, many people eat like you describe. If I have a lot of work I need to do in a day I will eat a high protein breakfast....then I am usually so busy I don't eat lunch. When I was working I played racquetball at lunch instead of eating....would bring fruit or a snack bar for if I got hungry in the afternoon. Then eat a normal dinner with family if I was home from work or get a fast takeout at a good restaurant if I had to work late. I still eat only 1 or 2 meals a day. Now if I eat a big lunch with friends it is usually my only meal for the day. When I allowed myself to buy potato chips or candy....that is what started to put on the weight.

No snacks in the house now & I allow myself one dish of ice cream or fruit salad with french vanilla pudding. It does keep weight controlled which for me is important too getting older & trying to stay healthy since I went through a few extreme periods in both directions.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm sorry they're being so rude to you. How is your relationship with them otherwise?

I agree. I'm sorry try have hurt you so much.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Yes, I'm sorry they're being so rude to as well, whispershadow. It really does sound like they're trying to control you, manipulate you, make you bend under their influence, and that's not good. Maybe tell them in a peaceful tone, in an assertive tone, not to speak to you in those ways, that it's hurtful and rude? You don't need to mention your MH issues if you don't wish to, but obviously they need to stop doing those things.

I agree! It sound like They are controlling. I have some experience in that myself!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by whispershadow

My relationship with them is okay otherwise, could be better could be worse, like all families we have ups and downs.

I hear you!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Hmmmm, they moved close to you not "In with you". Why are they interfacing with you at meal times when you have your own place. Maybe you need to enforce meal time boundaries as in meal times are at your place alone & not with them. Maybe an occasional weekend meal together but you need your own space.

Also a boundary of no discussing weight. Why are you talking to them about weight loss or gain anyway.....it is none of their business. You seem to struggle with setting boundaries specifically in this case with your family.

Are you in therapy? Maybe ask your T to help you with this issue.

I maybe maybe come up with a plan to set up boundaries!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

That is verbal abuse. I would tell them that when they say that, it is very hurtful; more than likely they will argue (abusers do that), and once you have told them, you can decide to not have a conversation or relationship with them. That is cruel.

I agree!