[InACorner]

My boyfriend of three years and I broke up ....we are still good friends we broke up about a month ago....i am getting ready to move back to my house in Pennsylvannia Dec 21....i have been living with them temporarily until that time....The problem is ...I want to have fun...i want to be an individual and go out with a bunch of people...i want to be able to flirt again (harmlessly of course) and I already and talking to two guys...they know i broke up with my bf ...I told them I dont want anything deep....i dont want a relationship but just to hang out and be friends...and go dancing or go out to eat....and they both understood that and accept that...i didnt hide anything from my x...he knows who they are...he knows who they were before we stopped dating...even though i never really talked to them while i was dating...i have a tend to flirt so when i am in a relationship i isolate myself from other men so my bf at the time wouldnt think i was cheating ...it was only fair to him...and i didnt mind because i wanted to....but now he isnt all that happy that i am talking to the these guys...through text....he knows what is going on...im guessing he is jealous....and since we are just friends im not going to not talk to other guys just because he has a bad time of it.....i just want to know...am i being unsensitive....and i going to fast??? I dont know....

[sabby]

(((((((((( inny ))))))))))

What you and your ex are going through is not unusual in my mind. You have a history together. Even though you have broken up, you are still living in the same household. Living that closely with him makes it even more difficult to give up the relationship. Aside from that, even though you have both agreed to break it off, doesn't mean that feelings just disappear and friendship is all there is. I think it's inevitable that one party can break away more easily than the other. You may have been more ready to let go than he was (or is). Does this mean that he is wanting to get back together again? Maybe, maybe not. I think that time and space between the both of you will help him to "get over" the relationship and finally let it go. It takes time and it's like a grieving process when a relationship ends. Many emotions to work through...on both parts.

It's a hard situation in many respects. I hope you can both work through it and stay positive and supportive of one another.

Hugssss
sabby

[InACorner]

thanks....yea i think he is having a difficult time ...i am too its just been a long time since he has treated me like i am in this relationship....so i am just trying to distance myself and i think he doesnt "get it" ......even know ive told him time and time again...he thinks we might get back together later....after he becomes a lawyer and im a doctor...i dont know....i havent fueled that subject...i kinda just pretend i didnt hear it......i dont know what to say to that

[sabby]

All you can do hon is to keep telling him how you feel. If he doesn't get it now, hopefully in time (soon) he will. Maybe the distance in miles between you when you come back east will give you both time to think, grow and move on....whether you both decide to try again or to move on in different directions.

Breaking up and living in the same household is very difficult to do. There is no real closure to the relationship when that happens. It's bound to bring about some difficulties....I think that is normal. (doesn't mean it's easy though does it?)

Hugssss
sabby