'Snowflake' or justifiably annoyed?

Hi. I have an update on this.

He now says he has autism and that is why he says the things he does to me.

I don't wish to offend anyone on the forum with that diagnosis, but would appreciate advice on whether this adds up or not. My instinct is no, he will not go to get an official diagnosis either, and says he would not know what to say to a psychiatrist. In my experience people with an autism diagnosis are kind and sensitive, which he is not. Also he can be nice if he wants something and has admitted as much, that he lies to get what he wants. Surely this shows his behaviour is controllable and not a diagnostic issue, certainly not autism?

Would appreciate advice on this, I wonder if I am being unreasonable and should take what he is saying more seriously.

Snowflake is just a term used by bullies

If you know one person with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) then you know ONE person with ASD. There are many different levels and many different manifestations of ASD. You can’t say that “all” people with ASD are this or that. That wouldn’t be accurate. Actually not being sensitive to needs of others due to difficulty wuth relating to others is very common among people with ASD, but again not always.

Saying that “self diagnosing or diagnosing others” is a huge pet peeve of mine. People often do if for attention. He says he has ASD but doesn’t have a proper diagnosis? So he is self diagnosing then? He wouldn’t know what to say to a doctor? Is he for real?

I’d say that it’s better to avoid political discussions if you know it’s causing problems. I’d also say if friendship causes stress and bad feelings, then what’s the point to maintain it?

People with autism are as diverse in terms of personality as anyone else, and just like anyone else can also be abusive assholes - my brother has Asperger's and 'kind and sensitive' he is not. Like your 'friend' he also uses his diagnosis to excuse the most atrocious behaviour, but it is not true that just because he has a diagnosis he is no longer responsible for his actions. That's just a cop out.

Thanks, I know it's wrong to generalise, it does feel like a cop out to me, and I am trying to avoid politics with him, although he brings it up anyway.

Probably isn't worth maintaining the connection, really, and I certainly don't think it excuses his behaviour. I talk to other more supportive people and have less time to do so with him now so that is a good thing.

Pleased to say I have finally blocked this guy for good, sadly it's taken a long time but one way or another, I eventually saw sense.

Think I need to work on my self respect now tbh.

Anyhow just thought I would update the thread. Thanks for all your support and advice, was and is much appreciated.

I'm glad you blocked that guy, romantic rose! Good for you! We don't need toxic peope in our life. Now try to just focus on yourself. I'm sorry you've had to deal with him. Sending many hugs to you

This is not a friend. This is not even worth being an aquaintance.

Sometimes it takes us awhile to understand & accept the reality of the situation. I stayed in a bad marriage for 33 years. Until the last 13 years of that there were enough things I was getting out of it that didn't cancel the bad but just made it more tolerable. We have to get to the point there those things we are accepting as tolerable no longer are before we take action to end it.

The focus needs to be on why our level of tolerance is that great? Sometimes we don't even notice the behavior at first till it starts to become irritating, Self-respect, self-esteem, or sometimes just other priorities than dealing with it until no longer acceptable to us. Only we know what is going on internally that we need to analyze to help us take action sooner in the future