I cheated on my girlfriend and she hit me

I have known my girlfriend (I am a girl too) for over a year now, Ive been in love with her for a year and she’s been in love with me. In the beginning of our relationship, she was still involved with someone she was in love with before me. It took a lot of waiting and patience and forbearance to finally get to the place where I could actually be with my girlfriend for real. I was really hurt by her, a lot of emotional pain and scars from that whole situation. (way too long and complicated to explain)
Once we were finally dating, I held a lot of resentment and bitterness and hurt towards her. She is the love of my life, she makes me eternally happy. I want to be with her. But I let myself get carried away and I cheated on her with a guy a couple of months ago. In a way I felt justified because of all the **** she put me through with her ex girlfriend. I ended everything with that guy and tried my best to refocus myself and make my relationship with my girlfriend work. It was going really well until she looked through my phone while I was sleeping and found a picture of the guy I cheated on her with. She confronted me about it, and I lied to her face. I tried denying it. She knew I was lying so I finally admitted that I had slept with him. She lost herself and slapped me, and then started thrashing at me and hitting me on the head.
I tried to leave her house and she wouldn’t let me leave, she was begging me and pleading with me not to leave, she was crying and saying she was sorry and begging me to let us fix it. Once she fell asleep, I got up and left her house.
I broke up with her the next day. Firmly saying it is never okay to hit someone no matter what.
She kept fighting for me.
I missed her, and I want her, so I agreed to meet with her to talk. The moment I saw her, I fell In love with her all over again.
I want to be with her again. But did she cross the line too far by hitting me? I know I crossed the line as well.
But Its never ok to hit someone.
She’s never been violent or abusive before.
Any suggestions or advice would be nice. I am just really confused.

Hmm.... something is not right, that's for sure. You said she's the love of your life, and you wanted to eternally be with her, but you acted out on hurt emotions and cheated. She then hits you. Hitting is never OK, I agree with you. And yes, you both crossed the line. Why was she going through your phone anyways? There's mistrust on her end. This just doesn't sound healthy all around. I would steer clear of her because of the hitting & because there's too many issues.

If she did it once, she may do it again. Abusers like to blame the victim for angering them. What you did wasn't right, but in my opinion her reaction was worse. I would stay away.

If you are considering going back to her, I would recommend couples counseling before you decide to go back.

It’s never okay to cheat on someone. Ever. So if she hit you you’re even.

I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like an healthy relationship. I'm not sure it's a good idea to continue. If you really want to go back to her, couple counselling is a must.

Cheating and hitting doesn’t sound like a happy relationship to me. You two are better off.

Pfrog believes human beings are better off living alone than in an environment of anger, hostility, distrust and abuse.

Glad to see you back, Pfrog

Hitting you was not a great move on her part but I think her anger was justifiable. It is unfortunate though she took her anger to a physical level.

There are lots of questions here to deal with before getting back together the least of which is her forgiving you. But first, you need to show a sincere acknowledgement of your mistake. This includes not just the act itself but the decision to initially deny it. I speak from experience as I have been there with previous relationships before. An apology was not what I wanted rather an acknowledgement that the act was both wrong, hurtful, and that I was not the cause of it. Without this, the apologies meant nothing to me and I harboured then a resentment which only grew and grew. These relationships never got past that.

I wish you good luck. With some work you two may be able to salvage things.

Ok I know being physical is unacceptable, but what you did is unforgivable.

Obviously she wasn't completely over her ex when you two first got together. You knew this damn well when you were with her. Yeah, it's tiring and it requires unimaginable patience and energy but you did exactly what you wanted to do - instead of giving her space and time to move on, you wanted to be with her through that. That was your choice.

Yes she wasn't over her ex. Yeah she probably cried and complained about her ex to you. Very frustrating. Very painful to watch your loved one hung up on somebody else. I get it. But after she finally opened up, trusted and loved you, and had to find out your shadiness on your phone,... Think about how dumb and betrayed she must've felt. At least you knew about her and her ex upfront. She found out you cheated on her a long time ago with a dude and she had no ****ing clue. You didn't even have the guts to be honest with her as soon as it happened. You cheated and took the easier way out by not saying anything to her, hoping she'd never find out. You did that only to save yourself.

& Justifying your cheating by saying "oh well she put me through a lot with her ex" ?? And lying to her about it til you knew you had no way out? That's just complete BS and that's very immature.
Own up to your mistake. Come clean. Apologize without comparing faults and who hurt whom more.

But it sounds like the damage has been done - how will you two come back from this? The trust is gone. I'm not saying it's impossible but I'm telling you right now, it's gonna require a TON of effort from both of you if you want to make this work.

Ugh this just broke my heart

Wow, now that's really telling it as you see it!

I don't know what ages you both are.....but BOTH behaviors are very immature. Sounds like some gpod therapy with a lot of work on interpsrsonal relations would benefit BOTH of you.

I would think only Therapy would help this situation , a couples Therapist and then you both each need a therapist.

Neither of you understand what a health relationship actually is.

I hope your able to work this out.

Were you hurt?

So what difference does it make if she was hurt or not ? The BEHAVIOR of someone hitting someone is WRONG whether they were hurt or not.

Your words.

This relationship was over the second you cheated on her. It was doom from the start. Now it past being fixable now that she assaulted you. If you truly love her you never would have cheated on her. If she it you once she will hit you for the second and third time and it was never stop. You should have file a police report on her. If you cheated on her once your probably do it again

I agree! You should stay away from her.

I would recommend that she takes some anger management classes.

I agree! You would I be together. Neither one of you can trust each other. You both cheated and she getting physical with you

I agree! It not healthy.

I agree!

I completely agree with you! It was over before it started.