[TishaBuv]

I had a falling out with my sister, niece, and mother three weeks ago over something really insignificant. My niece unfriended me, my sister berated me for it, and my mother invalidated me and refused to listen to me complain about how much it hurt me, mocking me.

None of them have called me. My mother has twice posted mean quotes on my facebook wall to give me a dig, quote that imply ‘get over it’.

They know how hurt and angry I am.

They are really not going to call me again, ever.

I’m obsessing about it constantly and too depressed to even leave the house. I’m putting on a happy face for my husband and son and doing basic chores.

It feels too painful to my pride to call any of them and either act like nothing happened or apologize for nothing except I took offense to being hurt.

But, honestly, if I don’t call they will NEVER call me again. In the past, which this has happened many times with my Mom, it was always me who called. She turns it around and says it’s me hurting her.

I’m really not going to call this time. I’m in very much pain from this. I really mean so little to them as they can’t show any kindness. I’m sad.

[Travelinglady]

That is sad. If you don't mind my saying so, it would be wonderful if you could trade them in for a new family. They don't deserve you anyway.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

They know how hurt and angry I am.

They are really not going to call me again, ever.

I’m obsessing about it constantly and too depressed to even leave the house. I’m putting on a happy face for my husband and son and doing basic chores.

It feels too painful to my pride to call any of them and either act like nothing happened or apologize for nothing except I took offense to being hurt.

But, honestly, if I don’t call they will NEVER call me again. In the past, which this has happened many times with my Mom, it was always me who called. She turns it around and says it’s me hurting her.

I’m really not going to call this time. I’m in very much pain from this. I really mean so little to them as they can’t show any kindness. I’m sad.

I noticed you haven't posted much lately and that it seems like you post less when you are depressed. I agree that they don't deserve you! You know how wonderful I think you are. From my POV, if you post something on FB, try to be encouraging or just keep people update if something truly significant happens (births, graduations, etc.) You explained how toxic your mom can be on many occasions. I am sorry. You obviously still love her but she hurts you over and over.

This site has helped me explore my internal emotions and struggles but now that I have figured out a lot, I now mostly work on learning to detach emotionally from my H and son when my emotions about them get too overwhelming. Admittedly, I use drugs and distance when it all becomes too much. Also, my jobs give me something else to think about/time apart. And sometimes I think of you and that gives me a warm feeling. I hope you feel better soon. Please don't give up. You have so much to offer......

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree, they don't deserve you. I'm so sorry you're hurting... I wish I could help you somehow. Remember that your husband and son are part of your family, too.

[falsememory7]

I'm so sorry this keeps happening to you I've been in so many similar situations, and it seems to always hurt just as much. I wish I knew exactly what to say to make you feel better. I think it's important, however, to not reach out to them first. Your feelings are very important.

[TishaBuv]

Your kind words lifted my spirits so much!

[Bill3]

(((((TishaBuv)))))

[TishaBuv]

I’m lonely and isolated now. “When someone acts like they don’t care, believe them.” I’m tempted to call my parents to reiterate how much their ghosting me hurt me and that is why I want as little as possible to do with them. But what I really want from them is to treat me with love and stop being shyts. But they won’t.

My mom called me yesterday only to tell me to go on Facebook to see her post about her newest book she self published and the kind comments from a famous author who is somewhat of a family friend. She just wanted me to go on there to give her kudos.

I don’t even know what this new book is about. Instead of treating me with love she was busy writing it. Her books are insipid. She paints things as she wants them to be with her as the beloved heroine.

I said it was flattering about his comments but he doesn’t know the truth. And I told her how my sister has never spoken to me again and how my husband finally had to text my niece and ask her to just F’n refriend me, how incredibly hurtful it was to me. I told her I don’t go on stupid Facebook anymore. She said “okay” nothing more. Click.

[TishaBuv]

She did finally call me six weeks later to put it behind us, but she wanted me to take all the blame for everything and when I wouldn’t take total blame, she declared she’s done with this whole famil.

She took a jab at me that I ‘really don’t want to get better’. I’m the one with the disorder???

Again, it was me to immediately text something kind and loving to my sister and a couple hours later email her a kind, olive branch.

[Fuzzybear]

“When someone acts like they don’t care, believe them”



This has been my experience with toxic family members and a few toxic former “friends” also.

I’m sorry. I know this is very painful for you. Big hug. ❤️

[TishaBuv]

I met with my parents today to watch my son in something I invited them to. I did not bring up anything about the incident. They really just want what suits them and don’t want to hear anything else. I’m trying to keep a balance of giving them an acceptable amount of care and keeping a healthy distance for me. I think that’s reasonable.

[marmaduke]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I had a falling out with my sister, niece, and mother three weeks ago over something really insignificant. My niece unfriended me, my sister berated me for it, and my mother invalidated me and refused to listen to me complain about how much it hurt me, mocking me.

None of them have called me. My mother has twice posted mean quotes on my facebook wall to give me a dig, quote that imply ‘get over it’.

They know how hurt and angry I am.

They are really not going to call me again, ever.

I’m obsessing about it constantly and too depressed to even leave the house. I’m putting on a happy face for my husband and son and doing basic chores.

It feels too painful to my pride to call any of them and either act like nothing happened or apologize for nothing except I took offense to being hurt.

But, honestly, if I don’t call they will NEVER call me again. In the past, which this has happened many times with my Mom, it was always me who called. She turns it around and says it’s me hurting her.

I’m really not going to call this time. I’m in very much pain from this. I really mean so little to them as they can’t show any kindness. I’m sad.

That's painful. So painful.
I suffered so much from my mothers rejection of me I had, for my sanity to let go of her. Let go of any hope she would ever care because I realised no matter how hard I tried - mother would never love me.
After a time of grief for my absent 'mother' (I cried solid for a month) I began to feel better. I expected nothing from her, nothing. I gave up on her. And - ultimately it was a relief. Freedom from toxic family.

[TishaBuv]

I’ve learned people only love you in their own way and love to them is not what I consider love; because if they truly loved you they wouldn’t hurt you like that. Makes sense, right?

My mother loves me as long as I am doing for her and what she wants of me. If I displease her, she will never call me again and mean it. She will make up things I did or said and spread this poison around to the rest of the family. I’m not sure if she truly believe it or not.

So now that she is an old, sick lady, I just let her shyt on me and keep a minimal “loving” relationship. There’s no changing her now.