Scared of starting a new relationship

I'm scared because I have not been in a relationship in years and also because my last relationship was horrible. I've met a guy online and am going to be asking him questions before we meet in a public place. We have not physically met yet. He has been asking me questions about myself and it is good he wants to know all about me.

First, he has asked me if he can take me out to dinner. I told him we could meet somewhere. He also said that after we get to know each other he could come over to see me before he goes to work or after he is off work. He works not far from where I live. He does not know where I live yet, though, I don't know him well enough yet to tell him that.

What kinds of questions would you ask a potential significant other? I know some of the things to ask but am not sure I know everything...who does anyways. I just want to get to know him and want to know he is a safe person.

((((LucyD)))) It's perfectly normal to be scared at first if we had troubled relationships in the past. Just ask him what you feel you need to know. Ask him about his job, his hobbies, ecc. And remember to have fun, as well!

I agree about asking him more about himself. How he tells his story can give clues as to whether he is a safe person.

Thank you both.

You may not be able to find out whether he is or is not a safe person on the first date. It may take a few more dates to find out. However, trust your instinct. If you get a strange gut feeling, then don't ignore it. I agree with others to just ask him general questions about himself at first. Also, be careful what you share with him about yourself.

Good luck!

Thanks. I haven't told him anything deeply personal and don't intend to at this point. Talked to him on the phone today. He seems nice but like he's anxious to meet. I'm not feeling good mentally right now and don't want to meet so soon. Feel like he is rushing because he wants to see what my whole self looks like as he's only seen a head shot. He wants to meet while it's his off time from work and I don't want to meet yet.

I told him I'm having sleep problems and need to get some sleep and he kept on talking a lot and he said we could get some coffee and meet near me. He doesn't seem to want to listen that I'm not ready to meet.

I feel like he is rushing me to meet. That doesn't necessarily say he's not safe because many guys want to meet right away. I don't know what to do now. I may just call it all off.

Because of how pushy he has been and the fact that it gave me a red flag I ended it before it began. I had such bad anxiety after talking to him last time, and I don't need that.

Thank you all for your advice.

((((LucyD))))

((((LucyD)))) That's ok. You made a wise decision. Keep looking.

Yeah. People with mental struggles need someone extra understanding, patient, empathetic, and kind. Someone who's already rushing to meet you after you seem to have clearly told him you need more time probably isn't the best match. I think you've made the right decision.

Thank you all. So glad I have a phone that will block numbers I don't wish to hear from.