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#1
Dec 24, 2018, 09:28 PM
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What I'd like to know is...
where are all my so called friends and family now that it's almost Christmas? I mean all year long it's can you fix this laptop can you build me this desktop can you come for a bbq and oh by the way can you figure out what's wrong with my network my phone I need my phone so here you fix it you're good with that kind of stuff...don't get me wrong I love helping friends and family but lately in the last few years it's like this every time a holiday comes along...they can't be bothered with me because they have families who need them...I used to think you know what you f***ers I'm going to start charging you for all this fixing stuff for free from now on but then hey these are my friends and family so no I won't charge them money but it hurts like h e double hockey stix when here it is again 807 pm on x-mas eve and not one of them have phoned or messaged or even acknowledged that I exsist...it's so freaking lonely I was thinking why am I sitting here waiting for them but then I remember last year when my sisters had their family get togethers I rang the doorbelll thinking what big surprise it was going to be all of us family together...my brother in law answered the door and you could hear a pin drop...he pulled a tenner out of his pocket and pushed into my hand as he said hey joe we didn't think you'd be interested so we didn't make enough food but hey mcds is open you should have called...I took the money from him and said yeah I should have called sorry it won't ever happen again and I went and had mcds with a homeless guy who was laying in a bus shelter...I swore to myself that it was okay you know I know what I am...my buddy the homeless guy he knows who I am...the crack heads who spin out of control know who I am...the little ones with no families they know who I am...I'm the one people only need or want around when there's nothing and no one else who can help...so here I am again crying and hurting for no reason cause I know these people will be back when they need me and I am okay with that....thank you for reading my rant....happy x-mas to all... 
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 Anonymous43949, Anonymous52222, Anonymous57363, Anonymous59275, Ella68, Open Eyes
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#2
Dec 24, 2018, 09:39 PM
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ps...sorry forgot to say have a safe new years...
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| Anonymous57363
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#3
Dec 24, 2018, 10:42 PM
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As a fellow tech guy, I feel your pain on people wanting you to fix/build their computers for free lol. Only for me, it's now also "oh hey can you build me a web site?" since I am studying web development.
If your family/friends can't be considerate of your time or meet you half way then start charging them for your help. Now, if somebody wants me to build them a computer, even if they're friends/family, I charge them $200. For PC/network repairs it's between $50-150 depending on the issue. If they want a web site, I tell them to get a good Wordpress theme and a hosting account and leave me alone. If those people can't appreciate you and be there for you than screw them. Make it worth your time to help them. |
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#4
Dec 24, 2018, 10:50 PM
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#5
Dec 24, 2018, 10:53 PM
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 what a sh** thing of your sisters to have done! I agree start charging. Say, you know, there's been a change and these services are no longer free. Not even a card? A token of gratitude? It's their conscience. Good grief! |
| Anonymous57363
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#6
Dec 25, 2018, 02:02 AM
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[QUOTE=trance;6377341]What I'd like to know is...
Oh Trance. What a sad truth you shared here. I am sorry that happened to you. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and at this point I don't really expect anything from them. I just try to keep some sort of basic peace with them. As for friends, my issue maybe is a bit similar to yours? I am not a tech person so no similarity there  but I'm a healthcare professional and family members and friends have consulted with me regularly (for free). I'm naturally a nurturer and I used to have friends often calling for advice and support when they were struggling (including late at night...my fault I know for not setting better boundaries). For a while, I was glad to help until I realized that it was increasingly tiring for me and those folks tended to disappear at fun times or times when I could have used some support for myself.I don't hold it against them. They are who they are...they each have their own backgrounds and drives and reasons why they act as they do...just like the rest of us humans. I can't change anyone; nor would I want to try. I put my energy into changing how I respond to people around me. Recently, I took a step back and re-evaluated goals for myself. A therapist told me that I am choosing those sorts of people to be friends with. Maybe that seems obvious but it blew my mind! I don't know what you think about that? Does that help your perspective at all? Or were you referring only to family members in your message? Family is family of course; we didn't choose them. But the friend selection factor is interesting. Your McDonald's story was poignant. I am sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine sending a guest at my home (expected or not) out for fast-food instead of sharing a meal but that's just me. May 2019 bring you new opportunities, peace, and unconditional love. You deserve that Trance  Be well, "Hope" |
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#7
Dec 25, 2018, 01:46 PM
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omg...I had written so much that I guess the server timed out while I was writing that everything I had written is now gone...suffice it to say...Thank you guys for being here and listening...you know when you find yourself in that darkest of dark places this community is my only outlet so again thankyou...I'll have to come back to this thread another time because my anxiety is starting to kick in...damn you guys would have been thoroughly entertained by what I had written...maybe I can get this out before i totlally llaf ot pieces...my brother in law brought me his laptop to fix and gave me a hundred bucks to fix it...I'm so amazed by how silly some people can be...he was using his laptop to entertain his little one with some children's program and had given a pb and j sandwich to her while he went and did something else...well the little one wanted to share her sanwich with whoever was on the laptop so she crammed the sandwich into the vent on the side...lol...kids you just gotta love them...but this is not the silly part my brother in law teacher decided to wash the laptop out in the sink thankfully he unplugged it and took the battery out first and phoned me before he plugged it bakc ni...long stoy short I was able to clean it adn teg ti running again...freaking headaches sorry but I have to leave now but again than you guys I really do appreciate the comments and I will be back to this thread....
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| Anonymous57363, Open Eyes
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#8
Dec 25, 2018, 03:35 PM
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Quote:
Breathe slowly and deeply and take good care. You're a computer guy...ever tried guided meditations on YouTube? They help me when I am overwhelmed. Good luck! 
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#9
Dec 25, 2018, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
So .. I'll go out on a limb here. I'd suggest you actively go out and find someone who needs company on Christmas (or any other holiday) and invite them to ... eat with you at McD's or go to the local mission that is offering a meal .. or have them come to your place where you'll fix something or order something in ... in other words--take charge of your situation and extend your hand to someone who is hurting or lonely too. And I would also print out what you wrote here and send it, Christmas newsletter style, to every single one of the people who ask you for help but who ignore your humanity.<--and that's the way I'd put it, too. Something my son said to me once when he was very young: people are stupid. I'll interpret that as: some people just don't think of others and their consciences will be stung a little by what you write to them and they will start issuing invitations as they are able. And others, the ones who really don't care--like they should care? They'll get angry. And that's all right, I say. It might be the start of cracking the soil so their consciences can grow. I wish you the very best. |
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#10
Dec 25, 2018, 03:44 PM
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Wow, your brother-in-law is an *** for turning you away at the door and sending you to McDonald's for Christmas. Do you know if your sister feels the same way he does?
This must be very hurtful to have people using you and not inviting you to share in the holidays. |
 Blogwriter
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#11
Dec 25, 2018, 04:02 PM
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Perhaps you could give your brother-in-law a book about Emotional Intelligence for Christmas, Trance?? Joke!
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#12
Dec 26, 2018, 05:53 PM
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omg I did it again...I had all my disorders laid out so you guys would be more informed with what I deal with every single day and I forgot to refresh the page...yeah I'm a real good computer tech...lol...so I think I'm just going to thank you guys so much for the support and leave it at that...the one thing I would like to do is wish you guys a very happy and safe new year...and in the words of that greatest of great comics...my hero...the late Mr. Robin Williams...Reality...what a concept...
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| IceCreamKid
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#13
Dec 26, 2018, 09:02 PM
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#14
Dec 27, 2018, 12:50 PM
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oh gosh I opt out of too much tech requests for anyone outside of immediate family and that's only because I've pretty much supplied all with custom built or procured hardware.
Honestly if people are not coming around except for you to fix their stuff they are not friends at all. They are using you and pretend to be friends for your usefulness. |
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#15
Jan 01, 2019, 06:38 PM
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Hi Trance,
I agree you should charge for computer work. Have you thought of making new friends who do not always need you to fix stuff for them? Please find some people who appreciate you for who you are - a loving, generous person who cares about people. 
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