[LuLu80]

I've met this man who is 30 and schizophrenic. He is able to live independently with the help of a case manager. He is on disability and the local mental health center is his payee. I've only recently met him but we really click. Right now his symptoms are under control but he has psychotic episodes approx once per year. Should I pursue this or am I asking for heartbreak?

[Cyran0]

I would never say don't date someone just because they are mentally ill. If he or she is not stable, that's a different story but you say he is so great.

Know this however, it will provide real challenges above and beyond a normal relationship. I would compare it to dating someone with cancer. It's a disruptive illness, requires a lot of treatment, it may cause financial difficulties, and requires that you learn how to exist with someone with this problem. It's also important to note that everyone is unique, including the mentally ill so it's impossible to say what this person will be like.

I'll say this, many mentally ill people become very lonely because many people retreat when they find out about the disease. We need love as much as anyone.

There's no predicting love and nobody can tell you what you should do. Keep your eyes open and be true to yourself.

Good luck.

Cyran0

[Perna]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cyran0 said:
There's no predicting love and nobody can tell you what you should do. Keep your eyes open and be true to yourself.

Good luck.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wierd question coming from a social worker. Seems you'd be the one to answer the question! :-)

Campy

[SeptemberMorn]

I used to be married to one. If it was me, I'd run like crazy in the opposite direction!

[LuLu80]

Yeah you'd think as a therapist I could answer my own question, but it's hard to apply my work knowledge to my personal life. I really need a therapist of my own.

[silentangel]

Years ago, I had 2 friends that were married and they were both schizophrenic.......... it worked out nicely. now im not suggesting by ANY means that you have a mental illness, im just saying if 2 schizo's can be happy together, then surely you can find happiness in one. psychotic episodes are not fun though trust me. I work in a psych hospt and deal mainly with schizo. the hardest part for them is taking their medication after discharge. get to know hios history and build a friendship before you start anything. good luck

Lulu i posted a response in your other thread in the psychosis forum!

[LuLu80]

ok thank you!

[jefftele]

hi with your experience in the mental health field is it not possible to have first hand observation of others in this position, or is it too close for comfort? I was married for 27 years and i suffer with bouts of severe depression/anxiety ,looking back the parts of the marriage was difficult, but that was for both of us, but which relationship isn't? i was the strong one ,emotionally, financially,and psychologically ,friends say my efforts to preserve my marriage were heroic, with hindsight i agree. my ex didn't have mental health problems ,she was a successful senior manager in a large company., who fell in love with someone else. i definitely did have problems at times letting her close ,but that was part of the illness, i'd describe myself as honest ,open,royal,vulnerable when i'm ill, but i'd say that i was one of the most loving persons that i know! does it really matter that i have a mental health problem?

[ECHOES]

LuLu how might you counsel a client on this?

[LuLu80]

Echoes, I'm sure you know the answer to that but it' impossible for me to be objective about my own issues. My emotions are all mixed up in it so it's all blurry. Thats why I'm seeking outside feedback, and I appreciate all I've gotten so far.

[LuLu80]

Update:
I went out with this man 4 times and it was wonderful... but last night he told me he didn't want to see me again b/c there was "no future." It's kind of more complicated then that, but the point is that I'm hitting rock bottom... breakup with fiance last month, loss of job, now this. I was really bad off last night. I felt like I couldn't breathe any longer.