Did hardship teach you compassion?

Do you think that hardship has taught you to be more sensitive towards others who may be going through difficult times? I've seen that this is not always the case.

Do you think that hardship has taught you to be more sensitive towards others who may be going through difficult times? I've seen that this is not always the case.

I tried asking someone for help for my friend's struggling family. I thought that this person would be sympathetic having gone through poverty herself. Instead, I found that it made her "too tough" and less sympathetic...and maybe even bitter. She said, "Hey, I had to live without electricity for 3 months. Sometimes you just have to put up with it!" But the case was different. She didn't have kids and my friend had little kids, so paying the electric bill was even more important.

I also met a couple of people who got through tough times because of their supportive partners. When I said that I wish I had someone too (also after seeing how other people were getting through tough times because of their supportive partners), they told me that "no one wants a needy person" and that I just want someone to come into my miserable life and be miserable with me. I still struggle to understand why they rashed out in judgement given their own journeys. Did they forget where they came from now that they are in a better situation?

I only ask because we are own prone to human errors. I'm afraid, what if I forget all about where I came from once I am in a better situation? Or what if I end up imposing unrealistic expectations on others to be strong as I was, in getting through their own hardships?

Just a thought

It looks that you in general tend to allow people to use yiu/abuse you/take advantage of your difficulty with saying “no”’and being too trusting. I know you have been working on it. And it’s great.

But now you are trying to enlist third party to be used financially like it wasn’t enough that yiu are often being used. And when the person says “no” you are trying to guilt her “but the other person has kids”. You were guilted by people before but now you are doing just the same: guilting.

I’d probably focus less on what others do and more on what you do and why. You can’t control others and their actions, only your own

depends on a lot of factors but mainly the nature of the person going through the hardship will decide this.

A negative and pessimistic person will probably be pushed further into pessimism and be more greedy viewing everything through a dark colored set of glasses.

A person who is typically thankful will see things differently and remember all the people that helped them, after they do get through the hardship and will usually be a lot more empathetic toward others in need going forward.

That's rather simplistic and there are many other factors but it's kind of the base. The same as prosperity can affect people in opposite ways too.

Someone who says "no one wants a needy person" baldly like that with no other explanation to your question is revealing way more about him or herself than about you for asking.

I totally get the argument...I do. I was at one stage in my life destitute...I mean totally without resources. This Hardship taught me that I must must become self reliant if I am to survive this world, and to never ever take anything for granted. I never asked for help...and none was ever offered.

35 years later...the utility bills and financial obligations come first....my physical health comes second, my comfort comes fourth. There is rarely any left over once I make the obligatory weekly deposit into my 'rainy day' fund. Sure I have a financial soft place to land now ...but that doesn't make me rich. Having peace of mind about my future makes me rich.

I still seek out bargains even for everyday necessities…I still steal toilet paper from public rest rooms…I still cut the tooth paste tube to get the last bit out.

Financial independence isn’t a right, and it isn’t luck…it is about being self reliant, resourceful and careful….and knowing that the next ‘rain storm’ is never forecast on the weather chanel.

True. I am easily swayed by emotions of the moment when someone cries to me. I help blindly because I feel "obligated" to help and end up imposing that feeling of obligation on someone else. But that's not fair to that person.

Separating emotions of the moment from rational reasoning is something I need to work on. The rational reasoning usually comes much later, when I start to obsess "Wait a minute, this is not adding up... and that and that too...."