How to attract a man?

Just last summer emma said she was married. Emma doesnt usually come back to threads she starts or I’d ask if she got divorced?

Oh ok. Hmm. Hard to know.

I don't like to criticize as you typically have great insight and well thought out answers but it seems to me that it's an oversimplification of stating that flirting is a way to get a man's attention.

What I mean is, at least in my case, I am talking about gaining the attention of someone (male or female, it works both ways). That is in no way, my stating that it's the way to get a mate, find a long term partner or a husband or wife.

The way I understood the question was just that, attracting a male. Finding out if they are a match, have common interests and values comes after you've made the connection which starts with gaining their attention and attraction.

That's just my take.

Actually in my post I spoke AGAINST oversimplification of finding a partner. It was my reply to someone else who said that flirting is the answer to finding a man. I didn’t imply that you think this way. I honestly at no point oversimplify. That’s why I said there is more to finding a man than flirting

I would personally rather attract a man by him recognizing my skills & abilities at things than I would through flirting. Flirting seems so superficial to me. I sm also attracted by a man's abilities not by flirting but everyone has their own ways of being attracted. I don't think saying one way works is accurate because it is so very dependent on each individual & what actually attracts their attention.

Even though @emma345 has not returned to this thread, I think it will go viral (and if @Shadix ;came back, even more likely)...

Why, flirting is fun. It is not just about attracting a man. When my husband and I are enjoying being with each other, we still flirt. Flirting is also about keeping things going with people we love. Flirting signals we are attracted. It signals, I am available.

I love when my husband tells me, "don't get too beautiful (implying he doesn't want me to attract others, etc.)," or fixes things. He changed out the kitchen fawcett over the weekend and I watched with appreciation and helped. At one point I said, "let me screw them on because I fit better."--We immediately smiled at each other and thought of sex. A lot of the time, flirting is about having sex on your mind (it might be totallly unconscious) but not immediately acting on it. The thing is--I could not have fixed that sink all by myself. My hands are not strong enough. I was so appreciative that he had fixed it that I baked him a sugar-free cheesecake the next day. Asking for help has always been one of my go tos when I want to get closer to someone. Putting on makeup and dressing in a way that makes you feel confident also helps. When we feel good about ourselves--we flash our smile at everyone who seems receptive/in a good mood. I also touch more and am very receptive to being touched when I am feeling an attraction. On my second date with my husband, I grabbed his hand while we stood in line for the $1.00 movies. He said that was a powerful moment for him. Why? We were mutually attracted.

Someone who would criticize this comment must have a bee in their bonnet.

Sounds like you two have mutually satisfying relationship! We flirt with each other as well. Being playful and flirty in a relationship keeps relationship/marriage fun and alive. ❤️❤️❤️

Hehe. This thread now has a life of its own! Lol.

Funny someone mentioned shadix. Whatever happened to him.

What do you have to bring to the "table"----are you kind, thoughtful,etc....people are attracted to positive, happy people.

I was literally thinking the exact same thing when I first read this post.

I admit I haven't read this whole thread. But, first, please don't just look at a man's looks, as was said. Instead, be friendly. Smile. Be interested in what a man is interested in and ask questions. Dress nicely and fix yourself up to be your most attractive.

Go to events you are interested in and you might meet a guy there who is interested in that, too. Common interests are important.

And, by all means, don't come across as needy and clinging! Try to take your single life one day at a time and enjoy your freedom, so to speak. A man can be wonderful, says me, who has been married for almost 30 years, but it takes compromise and adjustments. The single life is less complicated. Do things with female friends. They are important, too.

I remember he (@shadix;) used to go on and on about not being able to attract women. I would wonder if he wasn't using us to "practice" how to get women to react to him but he was probably just expressing his true thoughts. Most of his threads seemed to go viral. Wonder if he is gone because he found one? If he found one--did some piece of advice given to him help?

^^yes, go spend time with friends. Who knows maybe you'll be noticed letting your hair down and enjoying life. And even if not friendship time is still about letting your hair down and enjoying life.

I'm still going to try the 'nice shoes' one of these days.
((saw that on a video from a life/dating coach as in action as far as giving a signal of interest without overplaying the hand))

His account was suspended for awhile so not sure. Well, he was only interested in very young very good looking women with great bodies. And he only wanted hookups so I’d say advice about flirting would be right in with him. He never wanted anything of substance or meaningful but I do hope he is doing well and hope he found right help

His profile still says account suspended

I'm not even sure who we're giving advice to honestly, hasn't the OP been absent this whole time?

Yeah she doesn’t usually come back to her threads and doesn’t post often. I guess requests could be made to close the thread (not sure?) but sometimes people could learn some valuable things for themselves even if OP doesn’t come back.

Sure, I agree that there is something to learn from the topic anyway. It is an interesting topic and one that has so many perspectives

Absolutely. I told my daughter about it. She is a widow and somewhat on rebound (she felt she took enough time but I don’t think so) dated a guy who turned out to be a total and complete jerk and a liar. She got out immediately thankfully. But he was a corporate lawyer with ton of money (it was coincidental). Someone being a lawyer or having money or looking good means literally nothing in terms of finding a good partner. Thankfully she is dating a nice guy now. Not sure where it’s going yet, but for sure he is decent. So lawyer or no lawyer is of no consequence

I know for me, after a very LONG bad marriage I am just willing to wait & if the right person just accidentally happens to drop into my life & it becomes obvious that we are right for each other then great.....otherwise I am more than happy & satisfied with my alone life on my farm. Couldn't ask for a better more peaceful life....something I never experienced my whole life so I treasure what I have for myself right now without anyone messing it up.

“Reading” people and appealing to them is such a subtle, fine art and something I notice people, especially here, have difficulty with.

I’ve been giving some thought to this and even looked on YouTube for videos on this and I’m finding the “experts” to be giving super basic analysis and advice.

So very true about living peaceful life. Peaceful life could mean having a good partner or to be happy alone. Both could be satisfying. Too many people are focused on having to have a partner at any cost so they are willing to live such stressful, miserable, totally opposite of peaceful lives. Life is too short.

Yes, and when you read people wrong or ignore when read flags go off in your gut (because they keep asking you to go out, etc.)--you can end up in dangerous situations.