Hello, i was just wondering how can I attract a man I will love and who will love me back (i mean in real life not on dating sites, i hate dating sites, its like a meat market!!!)
I like smart men with education and money and a career.. also good-looking... i like lawyers.. i was a legal secretary but i always fantasized about my bosses lol.. i always wanted to be with a lawyer! But they were always taken.. it is hard to find a good looking lawyer single lol.. they get taken pretty quickly... and me..i am just a secreatary and i am not at all good looking. Moreover i dont even work in an office now... so i dont even know if i can attract such a man?? What do you think??

Join interest social groups or even local singles social groups, if you’re not interested in online dating.

[sarahsweets]

I think the question should be do you need a man to have peace in your life?

[Quarter life]

I agree with sarahsweets above.....Be careful what you wish for.

That said, There are a few places where you could meet likely candidates...your City Library for one. I often spent many hours in the State library in Sydney, where all manner of people frequent & congregate. I don't think that a persons physical appearance factors in much...but I always get a lot of attention when I wore a light spritzing of Chanel 19 perfume. Just keep away from the 'Self Help' section...for obvious reasons. I did meet many interesting and lovely people, some I still remain in contact with...But I prefer to remain single filling my life with my work and pastimes.

My best advice? ...Keep busy with your hobbies and interests...like minded others will seek you out.

[MickeyCheeky]

I don't think there's a single answer, emma345. Different people like different things. I'd just focus on being yourself. That way you'll attract men that like you for who you truly are. Jus try to take care of yourself before jumping into a relationship. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do? Perhaps you could try to do some activities that you like and meet some new people there. I agree with sarahsweets. Try to be happy by yourself first. I think that's the most important quality. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

[NeedHaldol]

I met my wife on a dating website. It was 12 years ago, though I don't know how they are now.

Worrying about looks is a fleeting idea. At some point you are both gonna be old and your looks will have faded. It is the PERSON that they actually are that you should fall in love with. Money is nice and all, but there are more things in life than money.

My wife actually is a lawyer, she works at a major law firm but has developed into staff as a legal project manager. When we met she was a temp and just doing document review. She did not make much and had a mountain of student debt to pay off.

We fell in love with each other because of our minds and hearts. The money will come and go. The real question is "would you still love him if you were homeless?" I have been homeless and know I would have loved her just as hard as I do now. Maybe more.

It is a cliche and I know it doesn't seem like it, but there is someone out there for everyone. It might just take some people longer to find them.

Good advice by everyone. I think you need to learn to accept yourself as you are, single. It is possible to be happy without someone. I also think you should improve your self esteem. Are you in therapy?

However, if you really want to meet someone and don't like dating online - I don't either - joining local interest groups and singles clubs could be the way to go.

I think the library is a good way to get attention too. Especially if its a place you frequent.

Remember that relationships can come at a cost. Be careful what you wish for. But good luck all the same! I wish you happiness.

One more thing...you said you always wanted to be a lawyer. Why not go to law school. Just a thought. Also, why do you say "just" a secretary? You were probably the foundation that kept the place together. Give yourself more credit.

Originally Posted by emma345

I like smart men with education and money and a career.. also good-looking... i like lawyers.. i was a legal secretary but i always fantasized about my bosses lol.. i always wanted to be with a lawyer! But they were always taken.. it is hard to find a good looking lawyer single lol.. they get taken pretty quickly... and me..i am just a secreatary and i am not at all good looking. Moreover i dont even work in an office now... so i dont even know if i can attract such a man?? What do you think??

Dear, if you find out let me know. I got nothing.

[divine1966]

Well my husband is educated with good career and nice income and pretty decent looking. Not a lawyer though. Lol we’ve met online.

I think expectations of a specific job are unrealistic.

Why not look for a great person with nice qualities and a career? Then go from there. Not sure why he must be a lawyer? There are as many jerks lawyers as jerks in every profession. Same as nice people.

Originally Posted by NeedHaldol

I met my wife on a dating website. It was 12 years ago, though I don't know how they are now.

Worrying about looks is a fleeting idea. At some point you are both gonna be old and your looks will have faded. It is the PERSON that they actually are that you should fall in love with. Money is nice and all, but there are more things in life than money.

My wife actually is a lawyer, she works at a major law firm but has developed into staff as a legal project manager. When we met she was a temp and just doing document review. She did not make much and had a mountain of student debt to pay off.

We fell in love with each other because of our minds and hearts. The money will come and go. The real question is "would you still love him if you were homeless?" I have been homeless and know I would have loved her just as hard as I do now. Maybe more.

It is a cliche and I know it doesn't seem like it, but there is someone out there for everyone. It might just take some people longer to find them.

[BonsaiGuy]

Originally Posted by emma345

Hello, i was just wondering how can I attract a man I will love and who will love me back (i mean in real life not on dating sites, i hate dating sites, its like a meat market!!!)
I like smart men with education and money and a career.. also good-looking... i like lawyers.. i was a legal secretary but i always fantasized about my bosses lol.. i always wanted to be with a lawyer! But they were always taken.. it is hard to find a good looking lawyer single lol.. they get taken pretty quickly... and me..i am just a secreatary and i am not at all good looking. Moreover i dont even work in an office now... so i dont even know if i can attract such a man?? What do you think??

Please take my suggestions with grain of salt, but here is a little bit of my story that hopefully is relevant and may give you some insight. Personally, I would take the opportunity to consider going on a date or two with someone who doesn't necessarily fulfill all of your professional and financial requirements.

When my wife and I started dating, she made it clear that she wanted me for me, not because of my social and professional status. I know this because I was very much lacking in these areas. We fell in love and ended up getting married. So, fast forward to now, because of her unwaivering love, commitment, and support during those hard times, I was able to really focus on being a provider and the best husband I could possibly be. I got and stayed clean and sober, I got a really great job that allows her the financial freedom to go back to college and earn her degree (she's going to graduate with a 4.0 and I am so incredibly proud of her), we were able to buy a house, I was able to buy her a really nice and reliable vehicle. I have examples for days of the professional and financial side, but the best part is that we really love and work well together. I wake up every morning so grateful that we have what we have. I like to wake up earily to make her coffee because I believe it is the least I can do for the love of my life and what she has done for me. We have all of these things because she took a chance on me. She didn't judge a book by it's cover and she really got to know who I am on the inside. I had no confidence before. Now, I hardly recognize the guy she originally met. I felt that she was so incredibly out of my league too. Sometimes, I think about this and look at my picture and finally think to myself "that guy is pretty good looking".

The moral of my rant is this... Learn to take a chance on someone and never ever judge a book by it's cover. You never know what you might be passing up.

Good luck

Originally Posted by NeedHaldol

Worrying about looks is a fleeting idea. At some point you are both gonna be old and your looks will have faded. It is the PERSON that they actually are that you should fall in love with. Money is nice and all, but there are more things in life than money.

I think there is an element of luck/fate involved though we can increase the odds. Perhaps it isn't possible but from my POV, the best chance of dating a lawyer would be to become a lawyer yourself (though you were probably just unequally attracted because of proximity and power). We know that being a lawyer has nothing to do with being a good partner--look at what happened to Elizabeth Edwards.

Steve Winwood - While You See A Chance

The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love

New Radicals - You Get What You Give

[TishaBuv]

I describe myself as having always been ‘boy crazy’. I had two boyfriends at the same time when I was four, lol!

I say this as your question ‘how to attract’ is something I instinctively(?) knew how to do perhaps.

I can tell you, it’s not about being beautiful. Looks doesn’t have all that much to do with attractibility.

My gut answer to your question was ‘flirt’. There’s a very subtle way and very fine line, especially at a job for this though.

[WishfulThinker66]

I am just wondering if you fit your own criteria? What I am getting at his how much of a match are you for your ideal partner? Are you as well educated as these men you feel you require? Would you be sharing their likely interests? Do you present yourself as a peer? As a professional? Just my initial thoughts.

Good points. Typically men with education want someone with some education at the very least. Some men who have a career, money and education may go for someone who is more inclined to be a stay at home mother IF that’s what they value and want.. a traditional housewife. Some men with careers and money want someone who has their own career and money; though some are still traditionalist and don’t mind being the breadwinner. Men who are good looking also tend to go for women who are equally as good looking, if not more than them. Like tends to be attracted to like , on a physical level and in many other ways too.

To the OP, do u want to be a traditional housewife and be taken care of financially by a man?

[Open Eyes]

One important thing I would advise someone is to learn how to take care of yourself first. Learn something that can provide you with an income where you can live on your own, be independent and self provide. This way you "know" you can thrive on your own and always keep your own ability to do just that cultivated for yourself. This way you don't end up staying in a bad relationship for fear of not being able to leave and take care of yourself.

If you are a dependent type person, you are very vulnerable to ending up with someone that will control you and even talk down to you. People often wonder, "why me" and the truth is the individuals that are toxic and control actually KNOW the kind of individual they can victimize. And these kind of toxic individuals are in all kinds of professions too, including lawyers. Invest in yourself "first" otherwise relationships will be all about the other person and you won't know it until you are trapped. Healthy men prefer women that have their own interests and can thrive independently. However, it's important that you choose someone that can also be independent otherwise you can end up in another bad situation where you are the caretaker.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I think a lot of assumptions are being made here that I didn't pick up in the op. That one needs a man to be happy implies that the person is saying that they are unhappy single and kind of goes off subject by suggesting the person should not consider this something to make them happy and that being happily single is a thing. I personally can't assume from the text that the op has stated they need someone to be happy or anything.

Seems the only question the op was asking is if and how to attract the type of male she would like in her life but a lot of the responses are going off on tangents here, imo.

to the OP: There are methods that so many will tout work for attracting one of the opposite sex and some may claim to be effective but out of context of the advising "authority" and their lives it's hard to say if even that advice would work for you.

I don't know if you're overly concerned with your looks but given the right circumstances and the opportunity to meet people with the types of lives and personalities you speak of, who's to say? Where do men that are your target tend to hang out and socialize? What types of things do they do? That's where I would start. you just have to put yourself in situations where you'll meet the type of person you would like ot connect with and go from there.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I describe myself as having always been ‘boy crazy’. I had two boyfriends at the same time when I was four, lol!

I say this as your question ‘how to attract’ is something I instinctively(?) knew how to do perhaps.

I can tell you, it’s not about being beautiful. Looks doesn’t have all that much to do with attractibility.

My gut answer to your question was ‘flirt’. There’s a very subtle way and very fine line, especially at a job for this though.

Omg your statement is so true when you say your gut answer was to flirt. The thing is, I dunno if many women really realize the power of flirting with guys sometimes. I mean it's not the only thing to do obviously but if a girl flirts with me, no matter if it's one that I'm interested in seriously or not, she gains points by way of attention at the very least. As a male I don't think this is untypical but I can only speak from experience, you remember and think more fondly of those that do go out of their way to do this. Women you might have missed had they not flirted gain your attention etc. Idk if I'm making any sense but yeah. it's important imo.

[TishaBuv]

Let my girl, Amy, show you how...

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I think a lot of assumptions are being made here that I didn't pick up in the op. That one needs a man to be happy implies that the person is saying that they are unhappy single and kind of goes off subject by suggesting the person should not consider this something to make them happy and that being happily single is a thing. I personally can't assume from the text that the op has stated they need someone to be happy or anything.

Seems the only question the op was asking is if and how to attract the type of male she would like in her life but a lot of the responses are going off on tangents here, imo.

to the OP: There are methods that so many will tout work for attracting one of the opposite sex and some may claim to be effective but out of context of the advising "authority" and their lives it's hard to say if even that advice would work for you.

I don't know if you're overly concerned with your looks but given the right circumstances and the opportunity to meet people with the types of lives and personalities you speak of, who's to say? Where do men that are your target tend to hang out and socialize? What types of things do they do? That's where I would start. you just have to put yourself in situations where you'll meet the type of person you would like ot connect with and go from there.

I am guessing that some people are basing their posts off her other recent thread about her life's purpose being finding a man, having children and a home. I think people here just are trying to help the OP to expand her vision of what may make her happy besides a man in life.

Originally Posted by Nowinners

I think there is an element of luck/fate involved though we can increase the odds. Perhaps it isn't possible but from my POV, the best chance of dating a lawyer would be to become a lawyer yourself (though you were probably just unequally attracted because of proximity and power).

No no no, I thought similar. Not the case. I am pretty sure that there is a secret meeting with inbound male law students where they are assigned the nearest kindergarten teacher.

When I got to school they were all in long term relationships with people that generally were not going to be lawyers.

Sandman, can't speak for anyone else, but you made sense to me when you brought up the flirting thing. I get it. How can a good guy or shy guy who likes someone know she is interested unless she, well, does something to indicate that?

[TishaBuv]

Here’s another instructional on flirting, lol!

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Here’s another instructional on flirting, lol!

LOL Tisha