Why am I so mean?

I need suggestions on why I'm so mean. Whenever I am hurt, i lash out. I say the most cruelest things that come to mind. I push people further away. I tend to do this most often with those I care for the most.

Current situation- 6 months since my ex said he didn't love me anymore, 3 months since he has moved out. We work together, live on same street; getting over him has been difficult. I somehow allowed myself (drunk) to have sex with him recently. It made me feel disrespected and hurt. I felt the need to verbally attack him, why?

What can I do to stop this behavior in future relationships?

I see this is your first post. Hello!

I first came to PC wondering why I could become so upset with my H that I nearly killed myself. It took me a long time to figure out why. I went to therapy, journaled for myself, posted here and did a lot of reading of posts and psychology articles before gaining some understanding. There can be many reasons for behaving like this so be patient--I think you will figure it out but it will take time and effort (introspection). That you want to improve means that you can little by little!

Hi Jt 0613and welcome!

I agree with Nowinners. It may take a lot of introspection and therapy to figure out why you behave this way. For what it's worth, I think lashing out when we are hurt or angry is common behavior.

I'm sorry about the breakup. Living and working near the ex must be really hard.